


We lost it all

by lovewido



Series: Light me up [1]
Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: <- Not explicit, Alpha Daryl, Alpha Daryl Dixon, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Fingering, Angst, Break Up, Breeding, Knotting, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Rick, Omega Rick Grimes, POV Rick Grimes, Self-Lubrication, Still kind of following the story, Story progresses more slowly here, Trigger Warning: Miscarriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-04-03 20:00:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 44,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14003601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovewido/pseuds/lovewido
Summary: It’s been a while since everything happened. The apocalypse, Shane’s death, Lori’s death, Judith was born and so many more pack members who had died while he was in lead. He was leading this pack and everything went toshit. He couldn’t help it, he felt stressed out. He was trying to keep his pack on his feet, trying to survive, but the only thing he got from it was death, concern, enemy’s and stress.And what made this shithole even worse? He was an omega. The fact that he was an omega wasn’t the worst thing in the world, the fact that his suppressants were getting low was the problem. Meaning that he didn’t have much time before he was able to go back in heat again and alpha’s would fight all over him, trying to win him over, mate and breed him. He sighed, his breathing trembling at the exhale. The pack knew he was an omega, he would never lie to his pack. He couldn’t.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo.
> 
> This story was getting dusty on my laptop, so I finally took the time to post it.
> 
> It's not as long as my other fanfic and my priority is still going to be my fanfic 'We all have bruises', so I think I'm going to update this one once a week, maybe twice! 
> 
> **FIRST THINGS FIRST!!!**  
>  They didn't meet the governor _yet_. I'm stretching the story a bit more, before throwing some more elements in there from the series. But most things **will** happen from the series!! Though I will make some changes to my own taste, of course!
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!

It’s been a while since everything happened. The apocalypse, Shane’s death, Lori’s death, Judith was born and so many more pack members who had died while he was in lead. He was leading this pack and everything went to _shit_. He couldn’t help it, he felt stressed out. He was trying to keep his pack on his feet, trying to survive, but the only thing he got from it was death, concern, enemies, and stress. 

And what made this shithole even worse? He was an omega. The fact that he was an omega wasn’t the worst thing in the world, the fact that his suppressants were getting low was the problem. Meaning that he didn’t have much time before he was able to go back in heat again and alphas would fight all over him, trying to win him over, mate and breed him. He sighed, his breathing trembling at the exhale. The pack knew he was an omega, he would never lie to his pack. He couldn’t. 

His pack consisted of four alpha’s: Glenn, Daryl, his son Carl and Hershel. Beth, T-dog, Carol and Maggie were beta’s and Judith was his child. At least, that’s what he had assumed. No matter what, she was his child. Maybe not by blood, which was probably the case since Lori had found it to be a good idea to start shagging Shane, but he would protect her no matter what. His pack had six members, seven when he included himself. They accepted him as the leader, even when he told them he was presented as an omega. 

He closed his eyes as he ran his hand through his hair, feeling quite heavy. He felt so bad, he couldn’t even really explain it. It was the harsh reality of carrying his faith as the pack leader. He didn’t want for anyone else to die. Because it was on him. It was on him that Andrea was left behind and slaughtered by the horde of walkers. It was his fault that Carol’s pup, Sophia had died. It was his fault that-

“You alright?” he heard a voice, snapping him from his deep thoughts about how everything went on this moment. He looked up, to recognize Carl standing behind him. He softly smiled and nodded. He opened his arms, inviting Carl for a hug, that was everything he needed from his beautiful pup. The boy sat down next to him and Rick wrapped his arms around the boy. It wasn’t only hard for him, it must have been hard for everyone here. The small boy had seen some things he wished he didn’t have to see. 

But, he was tough. When Lori died, he made sure she didn’t come back. He was really growing up in this messed up world. He was proud of him, of course, but he wished that he didn’t have to grow up in this mess. He wished that he could live with Carl and Judith in a safe environment, where they didn’t have to worry about any walkers showing up out of nowhere. 

“How are you holdin’ up?” he decided to ask his son, looking at him with his calm blue eyes. He softly stroked through the dark hair of the young alpha. The boy looked up at him and softly smiled. “I’m fine, dad.” The boy said to him. He nodded and pulled the boy closer to him, his nose in the hair of his child. It calmed him to smell his boy so close to him, to know that he was safe. If he could he would make sure that Carl always stayed with him like this, together with Judith. 

After a small period of time he pressed his lips against his forehead and let go of Carl with a soft and warm smile. That was just what he needed to get through another day. “Time to go back to work, you can ask Carol if you can do somethin’ for her alright?” he said to him with a soft smile. Carl slowly nodded and walked away, searching for Carol.

Rick was alone once again, but he knew this wasn’t the time to mourn and be depressed. Just sitting there with Carl healed him a bit, for now, calmed him down. He walked back to the cells they were using as a sleeping place. Maggie was playing with Judith, which made Rick smile a little bit. They were really like a family, taking care of each other. He couldn’t wish for a better pack than this one. They had been strangers at first, but through events, they were as close as a family, as a pack. 

He leaned against the iron bars as he watched the two play. He already knew that she would be a perfect mother one day. Maggie seemed to notice him and softly smiled. “Hey Rick,” she said with a soft smile. It must have been hard for Maggie too, he knew she blamed herself for Lori’s death. She was the one that cut her open and got Judith out. He didn’t blame her, not at all. He knew she had to. Otherwise, they would’ve died. The both of them.

“Hey Maggs.” He said with a soft smile as he kneeled next to her. “Hey little one…” he softly mumbled to his young daughter, pressing a soft kiss against her head. Judith just looked around with big eyes, probably not knowing what was going on. He got up again and petted Maggie for a bit on her head like it would say that he didn’t blame her, that it was okay. It was rough, but she was not to blame... She did what she had to do.

He was a big mess when Judith was just born. He started to cry at first; a logical thing, but his crying stopped, making a place for something more… primal. He didn’t even respond to anyone, just grabbed his ax and walked into the building.

Inside the building he started to kill all the walkers in his sight, trying to fill this _need_ he felt burning inside of him so bad. After the walkers were killed he was just staring into nowhere. He didn’t even recognize Glenn when he tried to make him come back to the pack. He had pressed the guy against the wall. He let him go, though, but he didn’t even make a sound. He was just staring again, his breath unsteady. 

When he finally seemed to calm down his mind started to play tricks on him. He saw Lori fucking everywhere, haunting him. He even started to yell at her right in front of everyone. Fuck, he even spoke with her on the telephone, even though the phones didn’t even work. Yeah, it had been a mind-fucking time, of that he was sure. 

In the meantime Daryl had been taking care of Judith. Got her formula while he was just straight up gone for god knows how long. Daryl had been the one to give her a nickname, ‘Lil’ Asskicker’. He had looked pretty damn confused when he first heard that name. Well, he had been a better dad for her than he was, that was for sure. 

He left with a soft smile and walked further, going outside. He couldn’t slack all day of course, not in this world. He looked around, noticing that he didn’t see Daryl at all. He couldn’t help to worry about the alpha. He always went hunting for the pack, outside the fence. Making him vulnerable for walkers out there on his own. Daryl was tough, he knew that, but still – he couldn’t help to worry. 

He looked at Glenn, who was working on the fence. Rick bit his lip. Was it the best task for him to do? Well, he had to do something. He couldn’t just do nothing and worry the fuck out of him. He went to Glenn, who seemed to sense him. “Hey Rick,” the younger male said with a wide smile. Glenn was quite calming to be with, he was uplifting, positive, it kept him on his feet. He answered with a nod and a soft smile. “Need help?” he asked the alpha, to which Glenn softly smiled and nodded. “If you have time, yeah.” 

He loved to work, it kept his mind off things. It helped him to relax, instead of worrying about everyone. In that small period of time, they lost so many people, that he almost didn’t sleep when there were pack members on the other side of the fence, either hunting or on a run, in the world with the so many man-eating monsters. Yeah, it definitely wasn’t the best thing for him if he was honest. 

Time flew by, he and Glenn worked really hard and he hoped that was obvious. But hard work wasn’t the only important thing to think about. He found that it was really nice and easy going to work with Glenn. It was really nice if he was honest. Maggie was lucky to have a person like Glenn next to her, protecting her. But a vague silhouette attracted his attention. He looked at it, walking toward them. He almost wanted to ready his knife, in case it was a walker, but he didn’t. It was like he knew who it was. A row with squirrels on his back, crossbow in his hand. Of course, it had to be him – Daryl. 

He let the alpha in, looking at him. “Quite a catch.” He complimented the Alpha, which narrowed his eyes a bit. “What’d you expect?” the alpha grunted. Rick looked a bit confused at the alpha, not knowing why he reacted like that. “Nothing, just sayin’ it’s a great catch.” Rick defended himself, it wasn’t like he just damn offended the man. Daryl just walked inside the prison, not even saying anything anymore and left him alone. 

It almost made him mad, here he was, worrying about a pack member who might not return, and there Daryl was. Like he did something wrong. Geez. Of course, he was glad that Daryl provided for the pack, helped him when needed, took care of Judith, but sometimes? Sometimes he really didn’t know what the man was thinking about, like his mood was just ruined by something he said. Sigh. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick takes over the watch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I said one week right?  
> It's not.  
> I still have about 16 chapters written and ready to post right now, so I decided to put one online every second day until I've run out of chapters to post. 
> 
> So enjoy this chapter! : )

Rick started to go up the stairs to the tower. Had to be someone up there. His eyes met Beth’s as he softly smiled. “Dinners ready.” He said to her with a smile. Beth slowly nodded and looked at him. “Go on, I’ll look after the tower.” He said with a soft chuckle. “Thanks, Rick,” Beth said to him and so she went off. Some alone time, again. Even though Beth wasn’t really a person to fight, they’d decided to allow her to take watch. She could always call them if something was wrong, they were always close by. Plus, in that tower she was safe from most things, there was enough cover. 

The air felt like it was brushing through his curly hair, cooling down his body a bit. He went with his hand in his pocket to grab the pills and opened the lid. Only in it for two more days. He couldn’t help but groan a bit. He wasn’t looking forward to what was coming. Heats, after suppressing it for so long He wished he could suppress it for the rest of his life. He softly sighed, but footsteps put him on edge. Focus, he couldn’t afford to lose focus. 

With his knife ready in his hand he looked at the stairs, waiting for who or what was coming up. He heard a soft growl, which made him only more cautious. “Put that knife down,” the voice made him a bit confused, why was he growling? “Daryl?” he said, still cautious. He couldn’t relax just yet, who knew what kind of freaks there could be in this fucked up world. 

But he did relax when he saw the alpha. He let out a relieved sigh and put his knife away. “Scared the shit outta me man…” he said to him. “What are you doin’ here? It’s not your shift.” He continued to the slightly older man. Daryl looked at him, but he wasn’t quite sure with _what_ kind of look. “Thought ya’d like the company, ’s all.” The alpha said to him and took place in the tower. Well, he couldn’t deny that he didn’t appreciate that.

“Just makin’ sure you’re not gonna do some stupid ass shit.” The alpha continued, which made Rick’s eyes slightly bigger. What? They thought he was going to get himself killed? He rolled his eyes and looked at the alpha. “I don’t need a babysitter, Daryl.” He said sharply, sitting down in the chair. He felt flattered that he was concerned about him, but where did he ever show he was going to kill himself? If he wanted to kill himself, he would’ve done it already. 

“Not doin’ it for me,” Daryl shrugged, which made Rick a bit angry. If he didn’t want to do it, he shouldn’t have come in the first fucking place. “You might as well _leave_ if you don’t care.” He huffed. Daryl looked at him, kind of… offended? What? He only spoke what he thought of as the truth. He didn’t want anyone to just stay here because they thought he was going to do some stupid shit. Like he would. He wouldn’t leave Carl or Judith alone. He’d said so himself, he didn’t do it for himself. He was here against his will, forced by who-knows. 

“We’re just worried about ‘cha, Rick.” The man told him, which made Rick look at him like his eyes told him to go on with what he was telling. “We’re a pack, we look out for our members.” The alpha looked at him with eyes that told him he wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon. What the hell man. First, it seemed like he didn’t even want to be here and the next moment he looked at him like he made his mind up and decided to stay here.

“I would never leave Carl and Judith,” he said stubbornly to the man. They felt like he needed company twenty-four seven or something like he’d leave. He never left, only been right outside the gates because he’d seen Lori all the damn time. “I know,” Daryl said to him. Everyone knew how he had been protecting Carl with danger for his own life. He cared so much for his son, he was the most important thing for him in this fucked up world they lived in. But if he knew, why was he here? 

“Just makin’ sure that the rest of the pack is calm, now that I’m with cha.” Daryl said as if he was reading his mind. Rick couldn’t help but smile a bit, well… he couldn’t be mad at that reason. “Appreciate it.” He said calmly to the man as he patted his shoulder. He went and sit too, looking at Daryl. “But, if you’re tired just go, alright?” he said to him. Daryl raised his shoulder. “Don’t really mind where I sleep anyway.” The man told him. Well, that was his own choice. He knew he’d rather sleep on the prison bed. Though they had been sleeping on the ground for days and days. They felt a lot safer now they were behind a lot of fences, instead of out there with a lot of walkers. But even now they had to look out for a lot of things. Breaches, dead people, _living people_

For a while he didn’t know what to talk about, but he supposed he had to say something. “My pills are running low.” Great. Such a good topic to talk about. Daryl looked for a moment confused, but when his mouth formed an ‘o’ he knew Daryl knew what he meant. “Want me to look for them?” he said to him, which made Rick shrug. 

“We searched the whole area, Daryl.” He said to him, softly. “I can search further.” The alpha said and Rick closed his eyes. “No, I need you down here.” He said to him. He couldn’t afford Daryl to go too far away from them. He caught the food, he protected them with his crossbow and he would lie if he would say that he wasn’t good in combat. The pack needed him down here. Daryl frowned, but eventually nodded, he had to listen to him anyway, he was the pack leader, even if he was an omega. 

“So.. how many pills do you still have?” Daryl dared to ask. Rick looked at him and bit his lip. “Two.” He answered, making Daryl look shocked at him. “You should have told us sooner Rick, damnit,” Daryl said with a sigh. Rick shrugged and looked at the fence. “It’s going to run out eventually.” He said to him, looking away on purpose. He was worried like shit. He didn’t know how bad it was going to be. It was a damn long time ago since his last heat. Even before Lori, so that must’ve been.. what, sixteen, seventeen years ago? Longer? Shit, he didn’t even know since his last heat.

“What are you gonna do?” Daryl asked a bit worried, Rick couldn’t help but laugh a bit and shook his head. “Don’t know… get myself locked away until my heat’s over I guess.” He said with a pathetic laugh. It sucked, so hard. But you know, there was nothing to do about it. He couldn’t afford to lose people here. They needed everyone and who knew what happened if they had to move on and lost the people who were going for supplies. Locking himself away was better than letting every damn alpha fight together over him. 

“You have to be careful.” Daryl said to him, making Rick blink. “We can’t lose ya, Rick.” Rick swallowed, making his throat click. “I’m not going to die.” He said to him with a soft smile. “At least not yet.” He decided to say since it seemed like you could die any minute in this fucked up world. If you weren’t killed by the walkers, you were killed by the other people who tried to survive. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick runs out of pills and confronts the group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo another chapter for this one :") 
> 
> Saterday another update!
> 
> Trying to upload as much as I can for this one, since a lot of chapters have already been written yet. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy and have a great day! <3
> 
> xx

And then, just two days later, as expected, his pills ran out. He groaned as he saw the empty pill bottle. It had been the last one he had, he was pretty sure of it. He had been looking for hours and hours, but he didn’t find anything. He took a breath and walked up to Glenn, the first thing he had to do is inform everyone about this. He was going to change, his behavior was going to change. They had to talk about certain things before everything was going to come down. 

“Could you get everyone? Need to talk about some thangs.” He told the boy, who looked concerned at him but nodded, knowing he probably just do as he said. Rick went with a hand through his hair, not knowing what to do if he was honest. Not knowing how the pack was going to react to this. Daryl already knew and he took it pretty well if he was honest. But there were some people of which he didn’t know how they would react. God, it was a good thing Shane wasn’t here anymore. 

He went to the open place. They could watch almost everything from here, making it just a bit safer for them to be together without someone watching in the tower. He paced back and forward, trying to clear his mind while he waited for his pack to arrive. The first one to arrive was Daryl, looking a bit concerned. Even though the man already knew about this, he couldn’t possibly know that he’d wanted to talk about it.

“Are you okay?” he softly asked him and Rick nodded. “Don’t worry.. nothing too serious but we need to talk about it.” He said to the alpha with a smile. Daryl narrowed his eyes a bit but nodded. Backing off until the rest arrived at the place. Next up were Glenn, Hershel with Beth and Maggie. Slowly but steadily the group grew until everyone had arrived. 

Rick took a deep breath and looked at the group, most of them with worry in their eyes. Well, it was unusual for him to bring everyone together because he wanted to talk about something, but it was a big matter. It would affect the whole pack, that’s why he wanted to talk about it. 

“As you know, I’m an omega.” Rick began to speak, which made people nod their heads. That’s one of the first things he told people when they wanted to join them. As a sign of trust, but also that if people didn’t accept the fact that he was the leader, they could leave again before people they grew onto people. You know, he didn’t want to make it even more difficult than it already was. 

“I took the last suppressant this morning,” he said to the pack, some eyes widened by the news and others, like Beth, didn’t quite see the problem they had or didn’t see it _yet_. He cleared his throat, to draw the attention back to him. “This means I’ll go into heat once in a while, so I just want to talk with you.” He said with a serious face to the pack. It was quite the matter, for him at least. Though, he didn’t know about the ‘once in a while’ thing. He knew it was different for each omega and he’d only been through one heat. He also knew it could be harder and longer for an omega on its own.

“I want to make it your decision. So I decided you can choose between three things.” He said, clear that he had thought about this. “One, I’ll stay your pack leader.” An option he was quite nervous about, he wished he could, but he thought the other people from his pack might think otherwise. “Two, I’ll quit bein’ the pack leader and let someone else take over.” He said, seeing people frown. Yeah, they had to think about it. “Three.. I’ll leave the pack.” 

Silence.

Complete silence.

“No way.” He heard from his side with a growl. He moved his head to the sound and saw Daryl on his feet. Maybe angered? “Ya’re not leavin’ this fuckin’ pack.” The alpha growled. Rick raised his hands and looked at him with an apologetic face. “As I said, it’s your decision. You should decide as a group.” He said to him with a calm face. He had to keep calm. It was good to see that at least one person thought he’d be better off in the pack. He and Daryl had been pretty close through the times, he’d kind of replaced Shane as his best friend and wingman. 

He looked back to the group and nodded. “You should think about it and decide it together. It’ll be hard with me in heat. We’ll find solutions if we have to.” He said with a soft smile to the group. Daryl still looked pissed off with the last option, he wasn’t saying he _wanted_ to leave, but if it would help them to survive… then yes. He couldn’t do anything as soon as he reached his heat, making it the group even harder to survive – especially around walkers. Or make the pack members fight against each other in blind rage.

“I’ll give you a day to think. I hope to hear your answer as a group tomorrow.” He said to the group and nodded as a sign he was done talking. The group just stayed there, not really knowing what to do. Daryl was the first to move, towards Rick and grabbed his arm firmly. Daryl started to pull him with him, to whatever place he had in his mind. He didn’t growl at the move, he didn’t struggle. If Daryl wanted business with him he’d be sure to give it to him. 

“Daryl –“ he said, but he couldn’t even finish his sentence because the alpha pushed him suddenly against a wall, which drew air from his lungs and made him not even able to finish his sentence. “Shut the fuck up.” The alpha growled, which startled him a bit. “what the fuck are you thinkin’ _Grimes_?” the man growled, his arm against his neck. The blue eyes of the alpha stared into his blue eyes, the blue eyes were dark, angered and he got it, really. But Daryl needed to tone it down just a little bit. Rick huffed and looked him right in the eye. He wasn’t scared of the man, not at all. “I’m protectin’ the pack, that’s what I’m doin’,” he said, easy as that. 

Daryl looked at him as if he was searching for something, but he just didn’t know what. “They have the right to fuckin’ choose Daryl.” He said with a stern face, trying to explain himself to the man. And he knew he was right, he must know that he was right. “If they don’t want a fuckin’ omega who’s in heat every now and then I get it. It’s going to be nothing more than a burden to the pack.” He said with a serious tone to the man, who looked kind of hurt. 

“You think we’re going to think that?” he snarled, quite mad. Rick raised his shoulders for a moment. “It’s really goin’ to be a pain in the ass.” He said calmly to the man. Literally. So funny Rick. “That’s why I think you guys should decide.” Daryl’s eyes were dark and that way he knew that he was pissed off. “Daryl, just believe my words alright?” he softly said to him. “If the pack trusts me this much I won’t have to leave.” He continued to speak. Daryl looked at him and gave up with a sigh. He let Rick go, looking at him. 

Rick straightened his shirt and rolled with his neck. That’s a lot better. Daryl seemed a lot calmer but deep in thoughts. Of course, it was a lot to take in. Daryl had proven himself to be quite the protective alpha over the past time. Taking care of the people, even took over his leadership together with Glenn when he was all crazy about Lori. He had just wanted to ask the alpha to go back to the group, when the alpha spoke.

“What if an Alpha mates you?” 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The talk part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo I'm right on time with this fic! Yay! : )  
> There will be a new update by monday! So hope you'll like this one! <3 
> 
> Hope y'all having a good day! 
> 
> xx

_“What if an Alpha mates you?”_

That question hit him like a bomb. He fell silent, not knowing what to say to him. He never expected this question in the first damn place. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, calm down Rick… Calm down. “I’m not goin’ to be mated, Daryl.” He said to him, calmly. Of course, he thought about that. But it wouldn’t be good. It would be just because it’d be easy. But what if the person he was mated to died? He’d go through it all again, even worse than with Lori. Being mated needed a deep level of trust between two people. 

“How about just an Alpha to fuck ya while you’re in heat? No matin’, just fuckin’.” His body shivered at the thought, almost like it was shivering in anticipation, it was almost insane how he responded even though he had suppressants. Suppressants didn’t help for things like these. He shook his head sternly. “No. No, Daryl.” He said to him. He couldn’t, because he knew what the risks _could_ be. And he wouldn’t be able to accept that. That’d make things worse. 

He could end up pregnant. And that would make everything even worse. He would want to start nesting, stay close to the alpha who had mated him, needing more and the birth process, god. It would take too much. He looked at him with a stern face. “I’m goin’ to be alone when I’m in heat, even if it’s for the rest of my damn life.” Who knew for how long that was going to be, but he sure as hell hoped it would be for a long damn time. 

Daryl narrowed his eyes but nodded. “Fine, if that’s what you want.” He said to him and Rick just nodded. He didn’t want to be bred when he was in heat. The risk was just too big. The risk of getting pregnant. He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he got pregnant. Not now. They all saw what it did to Lori, he didn’t want to make his pack go through this again. 

He looked at the alpha and softly sighed. “I know you’re concerned, but I’ve got this.” He said to him and laid his hand on the shoulder of the alpha and squeezed lightly. “It’s goin’ to be just fine, whatever you guys choose.” He said and started to walk back to where the rest of the group would be. Some would probably have gone back to work. At least he hoped. If there was still no one in that tower he had to send someone immediately. Way too dangerous if he didn’t have anyone up there. 

He quickly went inside, still feeling quite uncomfortable because of the conversation he had with Daryl. He felt eyes burning into his back the pack members like they were waiting for him to say what had happened with Daryl. But those kind of things were private things, even if privacy wasn’t really a thing in the apocalypse. And to add up that he wasn’t really comfortable with the conversation. Though his body had liked the idea, his mind definitely disagreed. Those were more personal matters than pack matters. “Who is at the tower?” he decided to ask the people who were still sitting there like they hadn’t even moved one bit. “Glenn and Maggie,” Hershel answered him with a reassuring smile. 

Rick sigh sounded relieved, he was quite worried about a random walker herd just passing here, because they would be dead if something like that happened. They were with far too little people and a whole damn herd would kill them all with no problem at all. He looked back behind him, where Daryl just stood and looked at the rest of the pack. Like he was going to decide what was going to happen. Rick wouldn’t be mad at them for whatever option they went. He would respect it either way. He’d leave Carl and Judith here as well. He wouldn’t burden them with the harsh life outside. And what if he did go into heat? They’d be defenseless. 

If he wasn’t able to be the pack leader anymore he hoped that Daryl could replace him as the pack leader. He wasn’t the brightest one sometimes, especially emotionally, but at least someone who could protect others was in the lead. That was his highest concern. Together they would be able to survive, even if it was just for as long as possible. One day they might find something that would help them out to make sure that they would survive. 

A good home, god how much he ached for that. A home where they didn’t have to worry about the walkers walking outside, a house where they felt safe. Carl, Judith and him. The three of them all together living in the house. Carl teaching Judith how to read, teach her all good things while he cooked for them, took care of them. He couldn’t wait, he was pumped for this. 

But first, they had to survive in this mess and hope for the damn best. He would try to survive this all, as long as he had Carl and Judith by his side. Nothing else mattered in his eyes. The pack was important, yes, but not as important as his children were. He would do everything for them, really. He would give up everything he had just to save them. But that was probably because of his omega instincts if he was completely honest. 

He looked at Daryl, with a serious look. “Could you control the fence with Carl?” he decided to ask him, which made Daryl frown a bit. He just kept looking at him, he meant it. He had to do it. Daryl muttered something under his breath, something he wasn’t able to hear. “Fine.” He said short, as he walked away. “Thanks, Daryl.” He said to the slightly older man, but there was no response. 

He sighed and rubbed over his nape, not really knowing what to do next. Probably walk around, sleep a bit since he was awake the whole night. Once again he took the night shift to stay in the tower. He hadn’t been able to sleep for more than a day. He looked at the group and softly smiled. “I’m going to sleep, if something happens, just wake me.” He said to them with a nod and went inside. 

It wasn’t the nicest place to sleep, in a cell. Especially since he was a cop before all this shit. It was kind of ironic for him to stay in a cell like this. Though he’d rather sleep here than outside, this gave them security. Gave them a place to stay. A place to call _home_.

He closed the door behind him, just to be safe. As he felt the bed he let out a tired sigh, closing his eyes. Damn, how much he needed sleep. He felt so tired, but he knew that it would only get worse in time, just because of his hormones. His hormones would change once again, taking a lot of energy from his body. 

He wasn’t ready for it at all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick takes the night shift in the tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo another chapter wiehoo. 
> 
> I'm in the middle of exams this week so I'm trying to post as much as I can but if I miss a day I'm sorry!
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy~
> 
> xx

Thankfully for him the pack decided that he could stay the pack leader and that they would help him going through his heats. He couldn’t have been more lucky with his pack if he were honest. It had proven their bond once again. He could stay and nothing would change – aside for the fact that he was able to breed. But they didn’t need any more baby’s, it was hard enough to take care of Judith. They barely had supplies for her, let alone for another baby. God, the sleepless nights were terrible, but he loved Judith either way. 

He had been totally right when he had thought about the energy his body would take from him. He felt so tired the last couple of days, his body was obviously changing because of the hormones and god, Judith. He had to check on her every once in a while. He sighed, looking from the tower to the fence. It had been quiet the last couple of days. A few walkers, but not too much. Easy to handle. He leaned with his head on his hand, dozing off a bit. He couldn’t help it. He didn’t sleep so much and his hormones only made him even more tired. It was pure hell. 

“Stay awake.” A voice said with a low growl, making his head tilt backward, looking at Daryl upside down. “I am.” He said to him. He immediately smelled the alpha scent. It was like those suppressants changed his whole damn body. Whereas at first he never _really_ noticed the scent of an alpha, he now smelled it the first moment an alpha moved into space with him. It wasn’t strong, but it only got stronger the moment the alpha moved closer to him. 

“You’re not goin’ to stay awake are ya?” the alpha asked him while he only got closer to him. He couldn’t help but back off just a bit, the further he went from the alpha, the better. “I am, Daryl.” He said to him, trying to sound confident, but he knew that he would have fallen asleep if the alpha didn’t disturb him. But he didn’t have to know that. 

Daryl just looked at him, stepping closer to him, making him step back again. “Why are ya runnin’ Rick?” the alpha asked him, confused. Wasn’t it clear why he wanted to run away? Wasn’t it obvious? Of course, he wasn’t able to handle this. Daryl walked to him until and Rick backed off as far as he could until the wall touched his back. He knew he couldn’t run anymore now. He just looked at Daryl, hoping he wouldn’t do anything stupid. 

Daryl was in his reach now, he smelled the alpha scent a lot. A damn lot. It made him want to whine. But he swallowed it, he wasn’t going to whine only because he smelled Daryl’s scent. No- not Daryl’s scent. An alpha’s scent. Daryl touched his cheek and he immediately felt goosebumps spreading on his arms. “Your scent…” Daryl mumbled as Rick noticed how his nostrils went a bit wider, taking the scent in deeply.

“It changed.”

Of course it did. Rick looked at the alpha and nodded. “That’s because I don’t take suppressants anymore..” he softly said to him. He wanted to speak the truth about this, as long as he didn’t sound weak it was fine to tell it. That’s how he thought about it. Daryl took another step closer in his direction, making him nervous. Damn these hormones. They were making him insane. 

He shivered when Daryl leaned forward to smell his neck and closed his eyes. Too close. “Daryl, step back, please.” He managed to say to the dark haired man. Daryl straightened again but didn’t move away. He looked straight into his blue eyes, which made his knees weak. “Ya should be careful, Rick.” The alpha said to him, making Rick’s body tense. “I’m careful.” He muttered to him and placed his hands on Daryl’s chest. 

The eyes of the alpha widened, but he probably took it the wrong way. Rick pushed him away, it wasn’t a gesture for him to stay that close, he had to back off. He finally felt like he was able to fucking breathe. It felt suffocating with Daryl _that_ close to him. “And I told you to step back.” He said as he straightened his body, trying to look fine. Like he was still in charge. Daryl gritted his teeth but didn’t say anything about it. 

“If ya need any help just tell me, tell _us_ Rick.” Not that again, Rick rolled his eyes and looked straight at the dark-haired man. “I will. Now stay and watch the fence or leave.” He said to him with a strict look. Daryl let out a soft groan and placed himself on a seat. Rick took a deep breath and sat down on another seat, quite far away from Daryl. It was only a logical choice, just a moment ago he touched him like he wanted to _do_ something. It scared him. It was scary how his body just wanted to drop down and submit to the alpha so close to him. The whole fact that his body was changing scared him. 

He swallowed uncomfortably and he saw from the corner of his eyes that Daryl was looking at him, sitting there uncomfortably with the nail of his thumb in his mouth. “’m sorry.” The man said after a long silence between the two, making Rick frown. But he didn’t look at him, he had to watch the damn fence. He knew he didn’t want to look at him because he was afraid that he felt weak again, just like a few moments before. Weak because of him, damn it. He cursed himself and the fact this whole omega alpha thing existed. 

“You don’t have to be,” Rick decided to say as he went through his curly hair. “It’s just instinct.” He continued to him, feeling highly uncomfortable. The scent in the air changed, making him feel even more uncomfortable. “I supp’se.” the man told him and looked at him. “Rick, look at me.” The man said. Rick took a deep breath and looked at him, but avoided the blue eyes. God, he didn’t want to look in those eyes. “What?” He said quite firm.

“I said, look at _me_ the man told him, which made him growl softly. “I am looking at you.” He bit back to the alpha. What was his problem? He was looking at him, just not looking him into his eyes. When Daryl tried to lock their gazes he just moved his head as well, avoiding at his finest. Not. It was way too obvious what was happening right now and shit. He already felt guilty for his behavior. 

“Ya are not lookin’ into my eyes.” Daryl mumbled and from the way, Daryl’s face contracted he almost knew for sure that he had narrowed his eyes. He felt his throat narrowing as he tried to swallow the blockage away. “I can’t.” He responded almost breathlessly to the man. Even if the man wasn’t showing any red, he’d still felt this hot, broiling thing in his guts to just bend over for the man. To show his neck and just let him do with him whatever he wanted to do.

God, how much he just wanted to do just that. To drop down on his knees. “Why can’t ya?” The man asked him confused. God, he didn’t want to say it. It was embarrassing, so fucking embarrassing. He bit his lip and closed his eyes for a few seconds. “Want to submit..” It was almost like a whisper, drifting on the wind. Like he’d never even said it. 

There was complete silence between them. The air felt thick between them and the silence was stuck on them like they weren’t even talking in the first place. He directed his gaze back to the fences, it seemed like the conversation was over, luckily for him. He didn’t want to talk about it anyway. He said it, there was nothing more to it. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward situations are awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day another chapter B) 
> 
> Already chapter six, wow. Goes quick when you've already written some of the chapters ahaha. 
> 
> So I hope you'll all enjoy this!
> 
> Question though: Do you guys like the justify or is it annoying? Let me know what you think because otherwise I'll change it :")

He finally got used to the fact that everything had changed. The scents he smelled, what he felt when he smelled a certain thing. At first he felt highly uncomfortable around alpha’s, but now it calmed him more than he would panic about it. Was this how a pack really felt? He took a deep breath and touched his nape, making his body break out in goose bumps. Fuck, that was sensitive. He never knew his nape would be this sensitive, he knew the nape of an omega was sensitive, but _this_? This was just insane. 

He became even clingier to his children, which was a bad thing in a way. He always felt worried when they weren’t at his side, even if someone else were taking care of them. But, he tried to accommodate to his body’s needs. And up until now he thought he was doing great. But there was just one thing, just one big thing, which kept making him weak. Daryl. He still wasn’t able to look in his eyes, like his body remembered every little touch from the alpha. It scared him to death.

He tried to avoid Daryl as much as possible, trying to never be alone with him. Always with another person, because he knew Daryl wouldn’t do anything in the presence of someone else. He wouldn’t dare at least. Rick started to move some walkers away from the fences. Together with Glenn and Daryl they were able to kill of the walkers with no problem at all, so now they had to move the bodies to a pile, so they weren’t lying around like fucking everywhere and piling up in front of the gates. 

Not thinking a hundred percent straight, he told Glenn they could do it without him, but he forgot for just a minute that it would mean that he was alone with Daryl once again. They worked in complete silence, none of them saying a word to each other. The atmosphere was awkward, tension was noticeable not only the air, but also in their scents. They both felt awkward as hell and he could smell it on Daryl’s scent. Out of nowhere he laughed a little bit, attracting Daryl’s attention. 

“What’s so funny?” the man asked him with a frown. Rick shook his head and closed his eyes for a bit. “I can smell that we both feel awkward.” He said with a amusing smile. Daryl tilted his head a bit to the side, definitely not completely sure what to say about that. “Look, it just happened.. It was a big change.” Rick said with a soft smile and stepped closer to Daryl, the first time he did that, moving closer to him. “But we need to move on, we can’t just avoid each other all the damn time.” He said with a soft smile. Daryl flinched a bit, but slowly nodded. 

“Yeah…” he said and Rick smiled at him. “We good?” Rick asked him and reached his hand out for him to take it. Daryl looked for a moment at Rick’s hand, but seemed to have decided to shake his hand. “We’re good.” He felt happy, happy that they were good. His scent changed almost immediately, whilst Daryl’s scent stayed the same. He felt satisfied, happy that he got his friend back. He should have done this earlier, it would have taken so much pressure off his shoulders. 

Now that he was comfortable with Daryl again, he could just be himself again. Or his new self. He wouldn’t know if he had changed through the effects of the hormones. Maybe there were some small changes, he felt more comfortable around alpha’s. So when they were all eating together he always went and sit between two alpha’s. Mostly Carl and Glenn. Carl had a huge plus, because he was an alpha, bus also his child. But tonight he found himself sitting next to Daryl, with Carol on his other side, even though she wasn’t an alpha. 

Daryl looked up to him when he sat down and Rick gave him a soft smile. He stretched himself a bit before he grabbed himself a small piece of food. “Ya should take some more.” Daryl softly mumbled to him, making Rick blink, what? He could eat just as much as the rest, he wouldn’t take any more than necessary. “No, I have quite enough.” He said with a soft smile to the man, though he wasn’t sure a smile was a good thing to do right now. Daryl huffed and turned his head away from him. 

“I have somethang to discuss with you all though,” Rick said calmly to the group. The group looked up from their food and directed their attention to Rick. He went back on his feet and looked calmly at the group. “I want to send out some people to get more thangs. Water, anything you can find. I’d want to suggest Daryl and Glenn to go out and see if there’s anythang left in the area. If not, we’ll go just a bit further. We need absolutely everythang we can find.” He said with a serious tone in his voice. People were always shocked when he told them he was an omega, since his voice was so strong, like an alpha’s. 

“Are you okay with that?” he said, looking at Daryl and Glenn. Daryl just shrugged, not seeming to care what he was doing and Glenn just nodded. He met Maggie’s eyes, full of concern. He gave her a reassuring smile and looked back to the rest of the pack. “That’s all enjoy the meal.” He said with a smile and sat down again. For a moment his skin brushed Daryl’s skin when he sat down, sending shivers to his spine. He bit his lip and decided to brush it off like nothing happened. That was the best for now, not freaking out over every single thing that happened. He just needed to relax, it was nothing. It was just Daryl, he just needed to get used to the touches of Daryl being an alpha. That was all. 

He just gave Daryl a soft smile as a sort of apology and looked at him. “Be careful out there.” Rick said softly to him, making Daryl hum as he agreed. Of course Glenn had to come back safe as well. “Make sure Glenn comes home unbitten.” Daryl seemed to flinch a bit and nodded, his eyes looking to the ground. As long as they both returned safe, even if they had no supplies, he would be more satisfied than anything in the world.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl and Glenn go out on a run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man oh man, this is starting to get more intense y'all. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this brand new chapter! 
> 
> Sunday new chapter, of course!! c:

As the moon started to go down and the sun lingered at the horizon, the group stood by the fence. Daryl and Glenn were about to go outside, in the hope to find them more supplies. Supplies were the most important thing right now, they needed them. Anything they could find could be important for the group. He looked at Glenn with a soft smile and hugged him. “Come back safe, alright?” he said with a soft smile as he let go of him and Glenn softly smiled and nodded. “Of course, I won’t leave you guys.” He said with a smile as he looked over to Maggie. The two lovers hugged each other tightly, which made Rick smile even wider. 

He looked over to Daryl and softly put his hand on his shoulder. “Don’t get bit.” He said to him, concerned about the man. “I never got bit did I?” Daryl said as he rolled his eyes. “Get off my back, Rick.” He said while he walked away. Rick stood there, completely astonished by the way the alpha reacted. 

He went to stand with the rest of the pack to see the two alpha’s off. He bit his lip and softly sighed as he turned around, he heard the tires of the car fading away the further they went, knowing they were out of sight. “Alright, Maggie, can you watch the tower for me?” he asked her calmly. They couldn’t just do nothing until the two came back from their haul, they had to make sure that everything was safe and clear. 

“Beth, could you watch Judith for me with Carl and Hershel?” that job was kind of the ‘relaxing’ job. They could take turns in sleeping, so they could be energized when they were needed or to do a night shift in the tower. They had less people now, so they had to be prepared for the worse. He decided to check the fences, his knife in his belt. And well, Hershel never had any watching duty because of his leg and Carl only took duties with someone else, while most people were allowed to do it themselves. 

He walked calmly next to the fences, every time there was a walker clinging to the fence he would just stab his knife into the head of the walker and made sure he let go of the fence. That was the best they could do for now, in the hope that they could stay here as long as possible. Or at least until Glenn and Daryl would come back. 

Suddenly he felt something like an electric shock running down his spine, making him softly whine as he crouched on the ground. He sat there for a while, making sure it was nothing and that he could go on. He slowly rose to his feet again, but then he felt it again and whined a bit louder this time. His eyes widened as he started to figure out what it was. Fuck. _Fuck_. Not now. Not now. He bit his lip roughly as he slowly started to walk, he couldn’t stay out here. God, who knew how many walkers he could attract while staying here.

It felt like it got worse every step that he took, his whole body was trembling, wanting him to just kneel down and whine for _any_ alpha. His body felt so damn hot, like he had a fever, his breathing was nothing more than pants. He took another step and collapsed on the ground. He whined as he felt slick running over his ass cheeks, going down, starting to soak his underwear, his mind started to go hazy and he knew it wouldn’t be long before he couldn’t think straight at all. “Rick?” he heard as footsteps rushed to him, making him look up. He saw Beth above him, making him whine. “A-alpha..” he whined. That’s all what he needed, he needed an alpha next to him. 

Beth shook her head and helped him up. “Come on,” Rick leaned on her, his legs too shaky to be able to walk himself to wherever the girl was leading him. She placed him in a closed space and looked at him. “Stay here alright? I’m going to get you some nice blankets.” Rick slowly nodded and bit his lip roughly. He didn’t know what to do, his body was heating up so bad. He just wanted something in him. Anything. He let his hand slowly slip into his pants, into his underwear and started to push a finger inside, making him moan. 

He started to move his finger, but not having enough freedom he pulled out his finger with an irritated groan. His hands trembled while he removed his belt, hardly getting it off. He started to pull at it and whimpered when he just couldn’t get it off. He pulled some more, fuck he wanted to rip it apart. It was like he didn’t even know how a belt even worked. God, he couldn’t fucking think anymore. He needed something. He felt so fucking empty and needy.

As soon as it came off, god knows how he managed to do it, he pulled his pants and underwear down to insert his finger once again and moan. He had nothing else in here, he wanted it so much. He inserted another finger, but it just wasn’t enough. He needed more, damn it. It only helped the tiniest bit as he just fucked himself on his own fingers. The angle was all wrong, it was not deep enough, fuck he wanted something bigger _so bad_. “Alpha-“ he whined as loud as he could. He thought he was going crazy, empty like this. 

Everything in his body and mind screamed for an alpha, to take him, knot him, breed him up, _mate_ him. When the thought of mate crossed his mind he whined a name he never thought he would say in a period like this. “Daryl- Alpha-“ he let out a loud, needy whine as he heard the door opening, the cold air felt like a damn shock for his lower body. When he scented that it wasn’t an alpha who came inside he whined. 

“Sssh, Rick, it’s going to be fine..” Beth tried to sush him. He pushed his head against her and looked at her, almost begging. “Alpha –“ he whined, trying to satisfy himself with his fingers, but he knew he couldn’t: it wasn’t enough. “Daryl’ll be back soon, don’t worry.” As soon as he heard Daryl’s name he whined with a needy ring in his voice. He curled up and grabbed Beth’s shirt, not wanting to be alone. He was scared, fuck he was so scared. Beth laid some blankets down with some pillows, most likely from his cell. 

“Stay…” Rick panted to Beth, his eyes tired, his body hot in anticipation of the images in his head, what he wanted to happen. What his body _needed_ to happen to him. Time went by slowly in his head, every second felt like a whole hour. Beth petted him through his hair and nodded. “I’ll stay until Daryl arrives, alright?” the girl told him while she petted him. Rick nodded slowly and felt how his body tensed up, feeling slick everywhere. His thighs full of slick, his body burning up. He just needed some damned relief here. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick's heat.. begins.. ; )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOO. 
> 
> Stuff 'n thangs right now ; ) 
> 
> Hope you love ittt.

Time ticked away slowly, he got rid of all his clothes with the help of Beth, feeling the cold air against his sweaty body, Beth just held him, until he heard some noises, making him look up and whine. As another scent filled his nose, it was a scent he welcomed and made him whine only harder. As he saw the alpha his whole body wanted to take a leap to the man and wanted to surrender to him. “Alpha –“ he whined trying to stand up and walk to him. He heard a low rumble as the man walked up to him and kneeled down in front of him. He couldn’t care less about Beth right now, his attention was completely fixated on the alpha in front of him. 

He felt Daryl’s hand on his nape, making his body go lax and relaxed. He panted and looked at Daryl with his gold eyes, looking into the bleeding-in red eyes of the alpha. “Daryl –“ he whined, reaching his hand out to his cheek. Daryl’s breathing was loud, clearly that his pheromones were stirring him up. But he wasn’t the only one, he felt himself stirring up from Daryl’s scent, even more than he already was. Shit, he needed him. He needed him so much. “Alpha – Please” he whined helplessly. God, this was too much, it was even worse with an alpha right in front of him too. Daryl closed his eyes and placed his forehead against Ricks. “Sssh… it’s alright.” He heard the low, rumbling voice. 

“’m goin’ to take care of ya, Rick.” The alpha softly murmured. Rick placed his head in Daryl’s neck in response, to take more of his scent, god, it was a promise that he needed to hear. He _wanted_ Daryl to take care of him. Daryl wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer, making Rick eager for more. It seemed as the alpha accepted him, that he was his trophy. And he wanted him to make him his trophy. He wanted Daryl to mark him, breed him, knock him up. He wanted to carry his pups, to give birth to them. He just wanted him _so_ bad. He let out another needy whine against Daryl’s body as his own body just send another shiver of anticipation down his spine.

Daryl pulled back a bit to meet Rick’s lips eagerly, sending even more shivers down his spine as he started to kiss the man back. He wrapped his arms around the firm, muscled body. When Daryl licked his bottom lip he opened his mouth willingly. God, he’d let him do whatever he wanted to do. As long as he’d just knot him. He needed his knot so bad. So, so bad. _God_ he wanted to be bred. His whole scent was just a way to tell an alpha he was fucking ripe. 

Their tongues met, eagerly dancing against each other while their saliva mixed together. That didn’t help at all, the hormones in the alpha’s saliva encouraged the production of slick, which was already so damn much. His legs were already covered in slick and damn, it was only getting more with every minute, his body preparing itself to be fucked, to be bred, to be knotted. He curled up against the alpha, the calloused hands of the alpha slowly tracing his body until they stopped at his hips. The alpha let out a low, possessive growl as he dug his fingers in his tender flesh, trying to leave marks to claim him as his. 

He softly whined into Daryl’s mouth while he pressed his hips more against Daryl’s hands, eager for the alpha’s touches. The scent of an aroused, in heat omega and the scent of an aroused alpha thickened the room. God, it was a wonder that Daryl could keep his head straight. Daryl pulled him onto his lap, where he could just feel the bulge under his hips from the aroused alpha. Daryl pulled away from the kiss and wiped the almost dripping saliva from his cheek, to put his fingers into his mouth, like he needed him to take all the saliva in, all the hormones. He started to suck on the fingers like his life depended on it, trying to convince the alpha to continue, to use his fingers to prepare him. God, he needed those calloused fingers inside of him. 

“Alpha, _please_ ” He whined to Daryl, he _needed_ him and he needed him right now. A low rumble rose from Daryl’s chest, approving the eagerness as he grinded his hips against Daryl’s bulge, earning a soft groan from the alpha as his fingers tightened on his hips. Daryl’s scent was overwhelming and he loved it every time he inhaled. His lungs felt just completely filled with the scent of an aroused alpha. “Sssh…” Daryl softly told him, stroking through his curls. “Such a good omega..” Daryl mumbled against his neck, which made him bite his lip roughly as he presented his neck even more to the man. 

The alpha let out a rumble as his tongue started to trace his neck, his adam’s apple when he swallowed back a whimper. His hands grabbed Daryl’s top tightly on his back, his finger tips digging lightly, almost hoping he could just rip his top off of him. God, he wanted to scratch his back so much. Leave marks of his own. When he could feel Daryl’s teeth against his neck his body stopped grinding, his whole body stilled. Just as a precaution. “God, just look at ya.” Daryl’s voice was like a guidance, god, he wanted him so bad. Instead of sinking his teeth into his neck and claiming him as his omega he could feel Daryl’s lips again, softly sucking on several places in his neck. 

He softly moaned and his nails started to scratch over Daryl’s back, covered by his top. It wouldn’t leave any marks, but shit, it sure as hell felt like he was marking him. When the alpha seemed to notice what he was trying to do he smirked just a bit, before wrapping an arm around his waist and slowly laid him down on the soft sheets. His body enjoyed the soft blankets, but not as much as it enjoyed the touches of the alpha. 

The alpha lost his shirt, the muscles rippling while he pulled the shirt over his head. God, those muscles. He let his hands wander over the alpha’s chest, feeling the muscles under his palms. _Strong alpha_. The alpha lunged forward to meet his lips once again, softly caressing his sides. Daryl’s hands left a trail of want behind on his body, the need for more. “ _Please_ ,” He whined softly while looking in the eyes of the alpha. The usually blue eyes he’d known, now had red strings all scattered through his eyes. And god, he was certain he was showing his fully golden eyes to the alpha. “I’ll be good, Alpha, will breed… but please, please- knot me, please.” He whined hopelessly to the man above him. 

Daryl growled, probably restraining himself like he never did before and got up, to start unzipping his pants. _Yes_. Before Daryl was even fully unzipped, he turned himself around to lean on his elbows, his ass high up in the air. He spread his legs presenting to the alpha. God, he needed him so much. 

“Fuckin’ hell.” He heard Daryl mutter under his breath. The man kneeled down behind him and he felt how one of Daryl’s hands started to caress his slim body, which left a trail of anticipation behind for him to enjoy. He was panting, only stopping to swallow down some of his saliva. Daryl’s other hand softly squeezed his hip, which made him whimper softly as he wiggled his hips a little bit. Come on.. he needed it. He needed him. “Close your legs.” The alpha told him with a low growl. Rick closed his legs almost instantly, listening to every word the alpha was telling him. “Push your thighs together.” The alpha softly grunted to him. He did exactly what he asked. God, he’d do anything to make sure he was going to get knotted by the handsome alpha.

He suddenly felt a hand on his hip, making him bite his lip roughly. He felt how Daryl spread his ass cheeks, fuck he wanted him so much. He was so fucking close now, so close to being taken by an alpha and he _loved_ it. He felt Daryl’s lips on his ass cheek, softly sucking the skin there. He trembled a bit and squeaked when he felt Daryl’s teeth softly nibbling on his skin. Fuck, this was too much. “Alpha.” He moaned as he looked back at him. Daryl licked his lips, god he wanted those lips on him again.

Daryl raised himself a bit and started to hover above him. He could feel the slight touches of Daryl’s chest against his back, Rick bared his nape for the alpha, ready to be bitten, ready to be claimed by the teasing fucking alpha. He heard in response of showing his nape to the alpha an agreeing rumble from the alpha’s chest, which almost felt like vibrations against his back, sending new shivers to his spine all the way down. 

Hands started to caress his body again, the warm trail of want left behind on his body. One of Daryl’s hands stopped at his nipple. He softly pinched it, while the alpha started to place wet kisses on his nape. Rick let out soft moans and pushed his hips more backwards. He was excited for what was going to happen, he would finally get satisfied by the alpha. 

What he didn’t expect, was the fact that Daryl shoved his hard cock between his thighs, all wet by the slick that had been dripping from his ass. No, no, no. He needed his cock inside of him, not between his thighs. He bit his lip roughly, trying to muffle the whine that wanted to come out. He clenched his thighs together, almost to promise the alpha that on his inside, he would be even tighter for him. 

The alpha started to thrust into him, brushing against his own cock every time he moved. Rick let out moans and closed his eyes. His eyes widened when he felt two fingers entering his wet, slicked hole, curling up to rub against his prostate. He moaned more loudly and tried to stay in place for the alpha, which he just couldn’t He moved with the alpha, fucked himself on the fingers inside of him. “ _Fuck_ Rick, ya are so fuckin’ beautiful.” Daryl groaned as he placed his lips against his nape. He bared his nape as much as he could, almost begging him to bite him. The soft, warm and wet tongue traced his neck, making him tremble. “ _Fuck_ , Alpha, please. Fuck.” Were the only words he managed to say to the man, he couldn’t form any sentences anymore, he could just form a few words.

But he didn’t. Rick panted, his insides clenching, closer and closer to his orgasm. “Daryl, Alpha, fuck-” He moaned as he lifted one of his arms to grab the alpha’s hair roughly, pulling him closer to his nape, nudging to bite him. It wasn’t long before he tensed up and felt how he came, his come spurted on the blankets beneath them. The alpha had removed his fingers and placed the other hand on his hips as well, tightly gripping them and probably leaving marks as well, if the strength was any indication.

Daryl started to pick up the pace and started to thrust faster, and way rougher between his slick thighs. Daryl hissed and placed his hand over the nape of the omega, biting hard into his hand as he came. Daryl’s knot inflated and he started to place more of his weight against his much tenderer body. Rick trembled and panted loudly. God, this did almost fucking nothing. No knot to temporarily let him think straight, just the feel of need all over him. 

They panted, their body’s flush against each other. Rick felt how the alpha put his arms around him and let them fall on their sides. He got pulled closer by the alpha, who started to nuzzle his neck. Rick closed his eyes and stroked the strong muscled arm of the alpha, softly whimpering as he pushed his hips more against the alpha male. He looked at the cum on the blanket, the new cum from the alpha still flooding against the blanket. He whined softly at the loss and looked next to him, to the alpha. The alpha looked up and leaned forward to softly nuzzle his cheek, placing a soft kiss just behind his jaw. “So perfect for me..” the alpha mumbled softly to him, as he nuzzled his neck again. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Rick's heat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another intense Rickyl chapter. ; ) 
> 
> Thursday another update whieeh. We're going so quick now oops. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and love you <3

His heat lasted for seven days in total. Daryl stayed by his time, all the time. They didn’t do it once, he didn’t breed him. Rick took a deep breath, feeling how bad his body felt. He was tired, his body hurt, he felt hungry, his throat was hurting and he was pretty sure his voice would be hoarse from all the whining, moaning and any other sounds he’d been making. He looked next to him, where Daryl seemed to lay peacefully next to him. His arms around his waist, keeping him close. He couldn’t remember much, if he was honest, his mind foggy. He knew that Beth was with him for a while. Wait, when did she even leave? The scent in the room was thick with arousal, from both omega and alpha, and of course the intense scent of his heat. 

He turned around, facing Daryl, and reached out to Daryl’s face. It was a bit prickly, but he didn’t seem to mind at all. He softly caressed his cheek as Daryl’s eyes opened. His red was completely gone, two blue eyes looked straight into his eyes. It made him wonder, would his own eyes have been returned to blue again? Or would he still have his golden eyes? “Mornin’…” Rick mumbled to the man, not really sure what to say. His voice sounded hoarse and raspy, just like he expected it to be. But with the memories of the past few days he didn’t mind at all. It was like his whole mind was filled with one thing and one thing only.

Daryl. 

He was completely swept off his feet, like he was high on this feeling. Even now his body craved to be touched by the alpha. “Mornin’ Rick.” Daryl said with maybe an even raspier voice than he had. He felt Daryl’s right -or was it his left?- hand softly sliding up and down his back, making Rick close his eyes. He softly purred with a soft smile on his face, enjoying the attention Daryl gave him. Damn, he loved this. In response to his purring he heard a rumble from the alpha. He placed his head against his chest to listen to it. 

It was like a melody, lulling him closer to the alpha. The rumbles were deep, low, vibrating against his skin. It was like it was only meant to be heard by his ears, that no one else was allowed to hear this. The rumbles calmed him down, like how cats purred to each other, how pack members groomed each other, like the breeze softly running through his hair calmed him and the soft chirping of the birds that his ears welcomed. He missed the chirping birds.

Daryl placed his nose in his curly hair, taking a deep sniff from it. He felt Daryl’s warm breath brushing through his hair, though his hair was not soft at all at this point. His hair was pointing in every darn way. He softly placed his arm around him and pushed himself more against Daryl. “How are ya?” he heard the alpha ask him, his curls moved a bit when the words were spoken. Rick raised his shoulders a bit. “My body hurts…” he softly said to him. Daryl let out a ‘hm’ as a sign he understood. “But I feel like I’m floating…” He felt the alpha tense up from those words. Daryl muttered something, but he didn’t catch what the alpha said. 

“How are you?” Rick decided to ask him, nuzzling up to the man. He heard Daryl clear his throat, while he kept stroking his back. “’m fine, just a sore throat ‘s all.” Daryl mumbled to him. Fuck, he would really lie if he said that raspy voice didn’t do anything to him. Rick hummed and started to stroke Daryl’s chest. It was pure instinctive. His heat had come to an end, but his hormones were still pretty damn high, which caused him to still do some things pure out of instinct. Even though he was glad he could think straight. 

“I’m sorry..” Rick softly mumbled after a short period of silence. It wasn’t an awkward silence, just.. they enjoyed the silence, enjoyed each other’s company. “Fer what?” Daryl asked him calmly. Rick moved away from his chest and looked up to the man. “I dragged you into this..” He softly said. Daryl just looked at him, probably thinking what he could say. “I just started to call for you.. fuck, Daryl, I lost my damn mind.” He said while he closed his eyes and placed a hand in his face. Jesus, what had he done? He knew they didn’t do it, though. He knew that when omega’s were knotted that they’d be able to think straight, even if just for a little while. Since he didn’t know anything about the last few days, he was pretty sure that they didn’t do that. How he knew that Daryl stayed with him? His damn scent. Plus his mind thinking only about a few simple things. Daryl, Alpha, Knot, Breed and Mate. 

His hand got pulled away. He immediately avoided Daryl’s eyes. Daryl let go of his hand to raise his chin and find Ricks eyes. “Ya didn’t force me, Rick.” The man told him with all seriousness in his voice. “I did this because I wanted to.” That were some of the words he wanted to hear from him. He placed his head in Daryl’s neck, taking in his scent. “You were holding yourself back… right?” Rick softly asked him, his omega part just needed to know this. To clear his mind of it. He just needed to hear it, that he didn’t want him. That that was the reason why he didn’t wanted to breed him. 

“Yeah, I didn’t want to do anything you’d regret. That _we’d_ regret.” Goose bumps broke out on his arms, fuck. That wasn’t what he wanted to hear. His omega part felt way too happy about this, it felt so damn satisfied. “Good thin’ that we found rut suppressants.” He mumbled calmly. Oh. _oh._ That’s why he was able to hold himself back. Otherwise he’d gone insane, of course he would’ve gone insane. Every alpha would without suppressants in its system. He closed his eyes firmly and frowned. “What’s wrong?” he heard Daryl ask, a slight hint of worry in his voice as one of his calloused hands caressed his side slowly. “Nothin’, nothin’.” He softly muttered quickly in response. 

Of course there was something, his instinct was running wild with ideas. But he already knew those ideas weren’t a going to work out. But if his instinct would just shut the fuck up already, everything would be better. But his mind wasn’t playing along with this plan of his . He felt soft lips on the top of his head, he hated his body for enjoying every little touch he earned from the alpha. Stupid after-heat-bliss. It was obvious they were both influenced by it, that bliss even though they were both probably hurting as _hell_ . He slowly looked up to the man, looking in those blue eyes where he could just drown into. Daryl stared back into his eyes, touching his cheek. Rick kept looking in those eyes and as if his body still felt like he was in heat, he almost waited until something happened.

Daryl moved his face just a bit closer, their breaths touching their lips. Daryl stayed in contact with him, his eyes almost like he was asking permission to do this. For a moment he hesitated, but then he just thought _fuck it_. This man had kissed him so many times already the last week, this wouldn’t be any different. He closed the gap between their lips, wrapping his arms around Daryl’s neck. The soft rumble from Daryl’s chest was impossible to miss from his point of view and after their lips had been playing a game with nipping at each other, Daryl licked his bottom lip, asking for permission to enter. He didn’t even hesitate. He opened his mouth and welcomed Daryl’s tongue as if he’d never known anything different in his life. 

Daryl pulled him firmly against him and Rick pushed his leg between Daryl’s legs to intertwine them just a bit more. He intertwined his fingers in the short, sandy blonde hair of the man, softly pulling it. Fuck, he felt like he was melting in his arms, he felt like he was high up in the clouds. He didn’t want it to end, he wanted to stay like this as long as they could. It had something magical, yeah he could feel the slick building up, but it was like he forgot any worries like this. God, he didn’t even think about what was going on outside for one minute. 

But eventually, Daryl broke the kiss. God, what the hell? He took a deep breath and looked at Daryl. Rick softly smiled and nuzzled back into his arms, closing his eyes with a soft purr. Daryl placed his face back into his dark curls, hearing a soft rumble from his chest. “Ya should sleep, though, ya didn’t get much did ya?” Daryl said, stroking his back. He shivered when he felt his hand on his lower back, still a quite sensitive place from the last couple of days. He was almost certain dark bruises had formed on his hips, small bruises of Daryl’s fingertips that would remember him about the time he’d spend with him. “Y-yeah..” he managed to get out of his mouth. Damn it Daryl…


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of Rick's heat part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update day!!
> 
> I'm so tired, working from 9-8 is hard ;n; Hope it'll get better soon haha. 
> 
> Saturday another update c:

And that was it. After they slept one more time, they got up. They left their arms, they left the warmth they’d gotten from their body’s. They started to get dressed again, not speaking a word to each other. His body felt stiff, fucking hell. He hated this, already. They went outside the room, for the first time in days. His eyes had to get used to the harsh light. He didn’t even want to look at him, he felt so _ashamed_ of himself. Even when the heat ended they kissed. Even though his instincts were still sharp, he wasn’t able to stop himself from kissing him. It made him feel a bit insecure, if he was honest. 

And not only about Daryl, he felt insecure about the whole group. They would be able to smell Daryl all over him. It was quite a conflicted feeling, he didn’t know how other alpha’s were going to react. Shit, how’d Carl react?! It made him feel ashamed, scared, but satisfied all at the same time and he hated it so much. He wasn’t even his alpha, fuck. He scratched his nape, just to be sure, but as he thought was there no bite. Daryl walked next to him and narrowed his eyes. “Relax.” He said. Rick looked up, knowing he and the whole group would be able to smell his anxious scent. Daryl laid his hand down on his nape, softly massaging it. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, enjoying the small touch of the alpha trying to calm him down. 

He walked up to the group, not seeming to notice him and Daryl. He scraped his throat, making them look up. “Dad!” Carl immediately said and rushed over to him to hug him. Rick kneeled down and hugged the boy tightly, kissing his head. “Hey there buddy.” He softly said with a soft smile. Daryl went ahead, just sitting down with the rest of the group. What was there to say? He bit his lip and closed his eyes, just keeping his boy close to him. 

When he let go he smiled at Carl and grabbed his hand, walking back to the rest of the group. He sat down, he felt eyes burning into his body, like they were searching for something on his body. Carl sat down next to him, nuzzling against him. “You smell like Daryl…” he suddenly said, making Rick tense up. Fuck, he should’ve done something to cover the scent. He felt how his blood rushed to his cheeks, fuck how embarrassing was that? He laid his free hand down in his face, trying to cover the redness on his cheeks. 

“Yeah… uhm… about that…” he stammered, not really know how to explain it all to his son. He wasn’t an idiot, but he didn’t want to give him weird ideas. ‘Hi so yeah Daryl was there with my heat but we aren’t in a relationship but we did things you only should do in a relationship!! Oh I’m sorry about your mom though!’ jesus. He fucked up badly and he knew it. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to think what to say. “I helped your dad out with a problem.” Daryl told him calmly while he tried to keep the fire on. Carl looked at Daryl and Rick immediately looked at Daryl. “Ain’t that right Rick?” Daryl said, his blue eyes on him. Rick slowly nodded and looked at Carl. “Yeah- Yeah that’s right. Daryl helped me out.” He softly said to his son, kissing the top of his head. It wasn’t really lying… right? He helped him out with _something_. 

Carl looked up to him with big eyes. “What did you guys do?” he said with a curious look in his eyes. Oh dear… “Something extremely secret.” Rick said with a wink to his son. Carl looked disappointed, but at least he didn’t ask him any more questions. He looked at Daryl and gave him a thankful smile, but Daryl averted his eyes, almost avoiding it. He took a deep breath and turned to the rest of the group. “So.. were there any problems while Daryl and I were gone?” He decided to ask the group. The pack members looked at each other and Rick just looked worried at them. 

“So?” he said, starting to get a bit impatient for the answer. “A few walkers got in.. so we took care of that.” Glenn decided to tell him, Rick slowly nodded. “But.. we are dangerously low on supplies. Really low.” Rick took a deep breath and counted to ten in his, trying to calm down. “Glenn, you and Daryl go out tomorrow morning to get some supplies, if there’s anything left. If not, just go further, I know that’s what I said a week ago, but just do it.” Rick said calmly, looking at his pack. 

They probably had to move on soon if they wouldn’t be able to find anything. And that sucked, because in here they had a pretty good safe place for themselves. He softly sighed and pulled Carl closer against him. “Gonna go find Beth, alright? Stay with the pack.” He mumbled and kissed Carl on his head. The boy nodded and Rick softly smiled at him, standing up. He walked away, scratching his nape. Or maybe just covering it. It felt like everyone was looking at it, like they were searching for a mating bite. He knew they weren’t going to find that, but there were possible hickeys and he’d appreciate it if not everybody was damn staring at him. He walked to the tower, towards Beth. He slowly climbed the ladder, his body protesting in any way possible. Damn it. He cursed his body in his mind. When he got up he saw Beth. Beth turned around and smiled at him. 

“Feeling better I suppose?” Beth said with a soft smile to him. Rick nodded and looked at her. “Thank you for takin’ care of me.” He softly said to her. Beth chuckled and shook her head. “That’s what a pack does, taking care of each other.” The blonde girl said to him. Rick smiled and pulled her in for a hug. He couldn’t have made it without her. He let her go with a warm smile. “Really, thanks.” He said with a soft smile. 

Beth looked at him and smirked. “So, did you let him breed you?” He almost choked at that question. Jesus. The blood pumped back to his cheeks and he wanted to be buried under the earth right now. “No.” he said to her, walking back to the ladder. Well, it wasn’t like he didn’t want to. He had begged and begged Daryl to do it, Daryl was the person who didn’t do it. Though that wasn’t any of her business so he slightly twisted the story. “Shame.” Beth said as she stuck her tongue out to him. Rick rolled his eyes and started to make his way down, finally some peace and quiet now that he had fixed everything. Thank god.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl goes off again on a run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so tired and sad
> 
> I'm at an internship in England at a Veterinary practice as a vet nurse, and a cat had peed on my top so we had to put in the washing machine
> 
> turns out my phone was still in there
> 
> So my phone died and I just got it in January :( So I'm phoneless in a foreign country, smh.
> 
> Anyway, new chapter for this fic!! Hope you all enjoy the little bit of progress in here ;) 
> 
> Probably make this into a serie, because I already have quite a lot of chapters only for Season 3 so.. Probably have a lot more chapters for the rest- lol!

It felt great to be alone for the night. His body got the rest it needed, still recovering from the heat. His body felt so sore, so tired from everything that had happened. He softly sighed as he felt the softness of the matrass. He had slept on the floor with Daryl while he was in heat, with only a blanket between him and the ground. The grazes on his knees and arms would explain that. He turned around on the matrass, taking a sniff on it. It didn’t really scent like anything. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Fuck, it was cold sleeping on your own. ‘Don’t think about it, just sleep.’ He told himself, trying to drift off to sleep. 

But he wasn’t able to. The next morning was the morning that Daryl and Glenn would leave them once again. He looked at both men, standing in front of the gate. Rick smiled at them and put his hands in his pockets. As Maggie started to say goodbye to Glenn, Rick’s eyes wandered off to Daryl. It was like Daryl felt like he was looking at him, turning his head towards him. Rick immediately looked away and decided to make it look like he was doing something. 

Fuck, he couldn’t. He looked back at the man, meeting his blue eyes. He stepped towards him, looking at him. Before he even realized what he was going to do, he wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly. “Come back safe..” he whispered to him. Daryl just held him close for a moment, before letting him go. He didn’t say a word back to him and the two brave men walked over to the car. He opened the gate, so the two could go out without ruining everything. 

The motor of the car started and Glenn slowly started to pull up, to ride away. He groaned, shaking his head. Damn it, he didn’t want this. He pressed his palms in against his eyes. Focus Rick, damn it. He had to focus, he was responsible for the pack. When he heard growling his eyes went wide. “Close the gate!” he said, seeing the first walkers already coming into the prison. Fuck. He grabbed his knife, keeping it ready. He rushed forward to a walker to stab it right into his head. Even though he killed so many walkers, it still didn’t feel like a routine. 

In the end they killed all the walkers that got inside, thank god. No one got hurt. He panted, wiping the sweat off his forehead. “Jesus.” He managed to say, looking at his pack. This is why he had to focus. If he hadn’t heard the growling things could have been worse. Someone could’ve died. His mind went to Lori, who had died giving birth to Judith. He softly whined, fuck. He had been so occupied that he didn’t even had time to mourn over his dead wife. She wasn’t his mate, for him there was a difference between mate and wife. Some didn’t see the difference, but for him it felt like there was. 

Your mate was your everything, your soulmate. Everything was just right with them. The bond unbreakable. But marriage? That was love, but not as deep and intense as a mate could be. Of course you could be mated against your will, but even then the bond would be deeper than any marriage could be. And he proved his point in his damned mind. Lori went off with Shane as soon as she thought he was dead. A mate wouldn’t do that as quickly. At least if you really had a mate who loved you. But what were the odds in a fucked up world like this one? 

Rick panted softly and went with his hand through his hair, fuck it was too damn close. He looked at the gate, a bunch of walkers gathered up there. Rick bit his lip and looked at his pack. They were definitely waiting for him to make a decision. “We should kill ‘em.” He said softly to his pack. Some members looked shocking at him, but he didn’t mind. “Carol, you’ll make sure the pups, Beth and Hershel are safe. Hershel and Carl have a gun, but only use them if needed.” He calmly said. “Maggie, T-Dog, we’re going to take ‘em out.” It wasn’t the best plan, he knew that, but damn he had to think of something before the fence would just give in. 

So they went and started to fight the walkers. He actually quite enjoyed it at this moment. He was too focussed to think about anything else. Just killing those undead people. It was heavy, but they did it. Don’t ask how, they just managed it. Barely. They closed the gates again, looking around. Things looked quite safe now, thank god. He went to Beth, who held Judith, and looked in her eyes. As if she knew, she handed Judith over to him. He pressed his lips against her head, holding her close to him. He wanted her as close to him as they could afford. His little Judith. He softly patted her head. As long as there were no walkers or if he didn’t have anything to do he tried to be with Carl and Judith, the two he loved so dearly. He didn’t need a mate if he had them. 

Rick was just busy all the time, he hated to be alone at this point. His mind was thinking about Lori, thinking about _Daryl_. Fuck, he didn’t want this. So he kept busy, almost didn’t sleep. Because he knew what happened when he went to sleep. He dreamed. It begins as a nightmare, really. Lori dies in his arms, Carl who puts her down and he can’t move a single muscle. His pack mates who are killed one by one by walkers and he can’t do _anything_. Until he feels arms around him who keeps him warm and safe. With a crossbow, putting some walkers down before the last pair of his pack gets bitten. The warm breath touching his ear “I’ve got ya.” Just at the thought goose bumps broke out on his arms. 

It ain’t right. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heavy days...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops angst?? A lot of angst. I'm going to tag angst right now, lol. 
> 
> It's a lot of angst this chapter, woops. 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoy it either way, lol.

His mind was running wild, it was too long since Daryl and Glenn went out to get supplies. He saw his pack growing weaker and weaker with every hour. He had to do something, but he just didn’t know what. His mind was a mess, he had a lack of sleep, he was starving, probably dehydrated and just an emotional mess. He tried to keep his pack in order, but he did most chores by himself, trying to spare his pack’s energy. The rest of his pack did mostly the watch, while he did the more physical tasks. Hell, he even tried to hunt. But with no success, he wasn’t a hunter like Daryl was. They left four damn days ago and they didn’t return once, their supplies had ran out in that time and without Daryl to hunt them anymore food they were starving. Maggie was stressed out, _he_ was stressed out. He couldn’t help but worry about them. 

He tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling, the feeling that he needed him to return to him. He felt like crying, whining, whimpering, he wanted to let it all out. But he couldn’t. He needed himself to be strong. His pack needed him to be strong. He had to have confidence, confidence that Daryl and Glenn were going to show up any minute. He felt so empty. Five days ago he felt.. healed. Not broken. It felt like a piece of him was gone again. He took a deep breath, taking the air in. Silent. It was silent. No growling, no birds, nothing. He got up from the ground, feeling the world spinning around him. Fuck, stood up to fast. He crouched down and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples. And now he had to stand up slowly, so it wouldn’t get dark for his eyes. 

He got up slowly, looking around him. When he heard a whistle he looked up to the tower. That meant something. He started to run towards the tower, going to the gate. When he saw Maggie there almost crying he knew something had happened. And then he saw them. With a trunk full of supplies in they rode towards the gate, a big smile on their faces. Maggie almost launched herself to the gate, jumping into Glenn’s arms. Rick couldn’t help but swallow, trying to get that lump in his throat gone. He probably just looked tired, but very relieved. It was like all his worries disappeared inside his head, making room for the tired feeling he felt over his body. 

And it got him hard. He wanted to step forward, towards his pack, but instead his felt how his body started to tingle. His vision blurry, patches of black forming in his eyes. Instead that he stepped forwards, he fell forwards. His body completely ran out of energy to keep on moving. The worry that kept him up his feet had faded. He could hear some vague screams, calling his name. He tried to look up, but even that was too much for his body. The vague callings faded, exchanging for the complete silence. 

Darkness. Silence. There was nothing there. He felt dizzy, like he’d been running for a long time, even though he was laying down. He opened his eyes and softly groaned. He looked at his hands, looking normal. Like he wanted to check himself. To see that he wasn’t a walker. He took a deep breath and looked around him. Really, there was nothing there for him to see. “Carl?” He called, but nothing came back. No response, no echo, it was like he was all alone. Fuck, he wanted to cry so badly. There was no time for his emotions, he had to carry his pack’s weight on his shoulders and it was his fault if someone died. Lori was no exception. If he wasn’t in a coma, if she wasn’t pregnant… If he just listened to her when she wanted to abort the baby- No. He couldn’t think about it. Judith was amazing, it wasn’t her fault. 

Fuck.

The whole apocalypse was the damn problem. If only Hershel was there with her to give birth to a baby, he knew what he was doing. But he couldn’t lay the problem on him. It wasn’t his fault. It was all on him. Fuck, he had to make better decisions. He had to put more effort in this marriage, he had to love her more like a husband did. He had to be more careful on his job, he had to make more time for her and Carl. Tears started to roll over his cheeks, ugly, loud sobs from his mouth. All the memories with Lori and Carl filled the black space. She was laughing, Carl was playing with some clay. He was making sandwiches from the clay, giving them to his mom. 

Judith was never going to get this youth. Her youth would be filled with death, trying to survive, other people stealing from them in order to survive. “Lori…” he sobbed, his eyes following every move anyone made in the memory. Shane entered the picture too, feeling like he got stabbed in the heart every time the three people smiled. 

He wanted those times back, those innocent times. Where everything was right. Where he pressed a kiss against Lori’s temple, arms wrapped around her as they watched Carl play. The trips they made with the four of them -being him, Lori, Carl and Shane-, going to an amusement park. Laughing, having so much fun. He felt hopeless, useless, he wasn’t worth anything. This world made everyone go insane. Shane got insane, he fucking killed his best friend, his brother. He was the only reason he was still alive, if Shane didn’t put that hospital bed in front of his door… who knew what would have happened to him. Fuck, Shane protected him and put his life at stake at that moment. He took care of Lori and Carl when he wasn’t there to protect them. 

They thought he was dead, it was only logical. He wasn’t mad at them, Lori and Shane, for screwing around. It was a different world, they thought he was dead… He could understand it, really. But fuck, as soon as he got back everything went to shit. The group fell apart, people died, even Shane died. He was the whole damn reason everyone got killed. Hershel lost his leg, Carol lost Sophia. Fuck, Sophia was on him. He told her to go back but she didn’t make it back. He should have taken her back to the group, to make sure that she got there. He should have distracted the walkers better, not just… Shit. He felt so helpless, so.. empty. Why was he still leading? The only thing he did was getting people killed. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rick's waking up again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy oh boy ; )   
> We're getting somewhere indeed. 
> 
> Hope y'all like this ;D

He woke up with his whole body sweating, his throat as dry as it could be, dried tears making it hard to see. His eyes lightly swollen, his eyes red. It was obvious that he had been crying. Fuck, he felt so weak. He looked around him, still as tired as he could be. “Rick?” he heard a cracking voice, he looked next to him, a broad body on the ground next to him. Like he was guarding him. “What happened?” He managed to get out of his throat, cracking, roughly. His voice sounded so broken and he knew it. He felt broken. He was confused, broken and just so, so, so tired of everything. The man next to him got up and reached out to a water bottle to keep it in front of him. “Here, ya need this.” His brains finally seemed to managed to figure out who was talking to him, who was with him right now. He wanted to protest at first, but he knew he had to take it. 

He was dehydrated. He took very slow, small sips. Not wanting to take a lot all at once. “Ya passed out.” Daryl told him softly, petting his head. “Dehydrated, malnourished and tired as shit.” Rick managed to find Daryl’s eyes and felt how his breathing already trembled. “I’m sorry…” Rick softly said to him. Daryl looked at him like he didn’t understand, but it seemed like he decided not to answer it. Daryl put a hand in his jacket to grab a bar from it. “Here, eat this. It’s good for ya.” Daryl told him, reaching it out to him. 

The first thing Rick did was slowly sitting up, feeling how heavy his head felt. “The pack?” he softly asked him. Daryl softly smiled. “They already ate.” That was a huge relief that fell off his shoulders. Good, very good. “How long..?” he couldn’t finish the sentence, coughing made sure of that. “Couple of hours.” Daryl told him calmly. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. How he wished he could just forget everything he saw while he was out. “Ya should take better care of ya self, Grimes.” The archer told him, standing up. 

Rick opened his eyes and slowly nodded. He only heard half of it, but it shouldn’t be too weird. At least, that’s what he figured. He stretched out his arms, towards Daryl. He needed that damn hug, he had been so worried about this man. This alpha. He felt Daryl’s body coming closer to his, wrapping his arms around him. He did the same, a lot weaker than the archer of course. It was like his body flooded himself with feelings, gripping on the hunter’s jacket. Tears forming in his eyes. Fuck, of course he had to cry with Daryl here. He wasn’t like the most emotional person he could’ve picked. He started to softly sob, feeling how Daryl’s grip tightened around him. 

Fuck how he yearned for this. 

Everything just came out. Ugly, filthy sobs left his mouth, crying over everything that had happened. He wanted to get over it, but it seemed like it would take some more time until that was possible for him to happen. Daryl just held him close to him, until his sobs got a lot softer and Daryl slowly pulled back from the hug. “Sssh.. it’s a’right.” Daryl soothed him. He wasn’t alright, he was far from alright. “I can’t…” He said with a trembling voice, grabbing his own hair as he looked down to his feet. “I can’t lead this pack anymore Daryl, I just can’t.” His voice just broke, he was a mess. A fucking mess. He tried so hard, to just get over with it for his pack, to try to forget. But it didn’t work at all and he hated it. 

“Ya can.” Daryl pacified him. He looked at him and shook his head. He couldn’t, not anymore. Daryl grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “I’m here with ya. I’ll stay by ya side at all times.” That reassured him more than any words in the world. It reassured him but it also frightened him at the same time. “It ain’t right.” He said with a whine, he pulled his hand out of Daryl’s hands and laid it against his head. “It’s goin’ to be a’right.” Daryl tried to soothe him. “It ain’t!” he said as he felt the tears falling down again. “I’m a fuckin’ mess, Daryl.” He said crying, sobs leaving his mouths again. 

“Fuck, I just can’t go on with this.” He sobbed, pushing his hands against his face. When he felt Daryl’s hand touching him, he just slapped it away, confusion in his eyes. “Rick-“ but he didn’t even let him finish. “I can’t sleep, I can’t stop workin’, I can’t stop _yearnin’_. I’m getting’ weird, Daryl.” He bit his lip roughly and shut his eyes. “Yearnin’ for what?” Daryl’s voice echoed in his head. For what? He felt like just telling everything. “Fuck, for you to come back, for your touches, for just everything.” He said, not even daring to look at him. He was really fucking weird and he knew it. The feelings he had been supressing, even before his heat. “I was so damn worried, you just didn’t return and-“ 

He wasn’t able to finish his sentence. Daryl’s lips pressed against his, his arms wrapping tightly around him. It was passionate, gentle and a loving kiss. He wanted to push him away, he was so confused by everything in his damned life. But he didn’t push him away. Instead he kissed him back, letting his thoughts go. How this man could do things like this to him, it scared him to death. It scared him to death, but he was unable to let it go. 

“That must’ve been the best confession I heard in ma goddamn life.” Daryl muttered to him, holding him close. His breath was still shaky from crying, but he didn’t say anything, he didn’t know what to say to him. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to get a hold of himself. “I meant it.” Daryl said to him, making Rick look confused at him. “I’ll stay by ya side, any time ya want me to.” His knees felt weak, the blue eyes just looked at him like he meant it. “Why?” he managed to say with a shaky voice, like he was still in denial. He might’ve known it, deep in his heart. But he kept it deep inside him, with everything that had happened over the past weeks. 

“Because I love ya.” 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stuff 'n thangs ; )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we arrived at the good part whoop whoop ;) 
> 
> Enjoy ;))

“Because I love ya.” 

Those words kicked him harder than he thought they would. He looked at him, probably with surprised eyes. He didn’t even seem to think anymore. It was like everything was just silent in his head. Like he was on autopilot. He leaned forward, stopping when there were only millimetres apart between their lips. He could feel the warm breath brush over his lips, their eyes met and that was the cue for Daryl to close the gap between them. Their lips met each other, like it was meant to be for them to meet. Like this whole thing was meant to be. What started as a passionate, gentle and slow kiss, started to be more than that. Heated, eager, sloppy and he loved it. 

Eager for each other. Daryl’s hands tracing his body, softly digging his fingers into his skin. A bit hesitant, but that changed as soon as he pulled Daryl’s hair softly. But even then, Daryl treated him like he was glass, like he could break if he wasn’t careful enough. He decided to take some initiative, spreading his legs a bit for him. He could hear a soft, approving rumble from Daryl, shoving his leg between his. 

The kiss started to get a lot more heated, their tongues connected, melting against each other. He couldn’t help but whine softly when Daryl touched his nape, softly squeezing it. He started to grind himself against Daryl’s leg, eager for more of his touches. His mind went completely blank, not thinking about what he was doing right now, forgetting the things he thought about earlier. His hands traced Daryl’s body, going down. At the end of his sleeveless shirt he let his hands slip under the shirt, feeling the bare skin under his fingers. He picked up the pace, panting into Daryl’s mouth while he felt a feeling in his lower stomach, knowing he was close. Damn how did he get so close already. He softly moaned and dug his fingers a bit into Daryl’s skin, breaking the kiss between them. “ ‘m gonna-“ he moaned, laying his face in Daryl’s neck. “Come for me, darlin’ “ 

That was everything he needed. He felt how he came, his body trembling against Daryl’s. Daryl’s lips traced his neck, making him whine softly. He felt how his pants were all sticky and wet, but right now? He didn’t even care. He laid himself against Daryl, arms tightly wrapped around him while he panted. “Fuck..” he whispered softly. He could hear Daryl chuckle, softly running a hand through his curls. “Want a change of underwear?” Daryl softly asked him, the warm breath brushed against his ear. Goose bumps broke out on his arms, damn, how much this man influenced him was a mystery. He softly nodded, but when Daryl removed his arms and wanted to move away, he just pulled him back. 

“Can’t get ya a change when ya holding me.” Daryl said calmly to him, stroking his arms. He looked up at him and bit his lip. “Y-yeah…” he managed to say to him, but couldn’t make himself to let him go. He roughly bit his lip, not knowing what to say to him. Hell, he couldn’t even manage to look in the blue eyes. He felt highly uncomfortable, his underwear soaked with his come on the front, soaked with slick on his back. He could almost taste the arousal in the air, the pheromones dancing around them. It would be so obvious what happened. 

He slowly let Daryl go, following his every move with his eyes. Daryl grabbed him a fresh pair, handing it to him. “I’ll let ya change, see ya outside?” Daryl softly said to him, cradling his cheek. Rick softly nodded, looking at Daryl. God, how much he wanted to kiss him again. And it seemed like Daryl could read his mind, placing a tender, passionate kiss on his lips before leaving the room. Rick took a shaky breath and slid against the wall, down. He sat down on the ground, hands in his hair. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_! What the fuck was that?! Get it together Grimes! Damn it. How did it end up like this?!

His body was shaking, he couldn’t believe what he just did. Fuck, Daryl loved him? When he thought about that his whole body felt like fire. He knew, didn’t he? He knew that, deep in his heart, he had a weak spot for the hunter. That he always worried more about him to return than any other pack mate -excluding Carl and Judith of course. Fuck, but it was just too much to handle at this moment. He wanted peace and quiet, but this world didn’t let him have that. 

Did Lori notice it before he did? It would’ve explained why she suddenly kept her distance. Well, and the fact that she and Shane hooked up. Their marriage had ended a long time ago, not officially, but mentally. His job was important to him, he was always busy with it. Being a cop costed him a lot of time, but it was more than worth it if he was honest. He just loved it so much. But this all didn’t change anything for him now, look at him. He was so damn confused. He wanted to forget, clear his mind, he would beg for it if he could. 

He sat for a while there. He took a few deep breaths, while he counted to ten. Calmly. Just slowly. He slid back up, leaning against the wall. Just a little extra security for him. He unbuttoned his jeans, slowly pulling them off. He couldn’t help but look at his soaked underwear. Damn, his body was in anticipation for more and he knew it. He started to remove his underwear, feeling the cold air against his bare lower body. He shivered and used the already dirty underwear to remove the rest of the slick, and grabbed the new pair of underwear. He softly slid it up his legs, feeling a lot better already. 

He pulled up his jeans, closing them and put his belt around it. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes, before grabbing the piece of food waiting for him. He sat down and started to take little bites out of it, kind of avoiding to go outside. He didn’t know what he could expect and that made him kind of scared? People would know when they would get a whiff of their scents, since they had no working showers they would reek of each other and not only that, the arousal would be so clear. He could already see the faces of his pack mates, grinning at each other. Maybe some surprised faces. Shit, Carl. How would he respond? His mom wasn’t even dead for _that_ long and he already shacked up with someone else. He was just so bad as Lori, when she thought he was dead. Fuck. He hated himself already. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Group intervention...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed a lot of this since I first wrote it, lol. (I had most of this written in january when I didn't have an account yet) but I wasn't happy with what I had written so I changed most of it XD.
> 
> Hope it's kind of good, though, because I didn't really know what to do with this chapter. 
> 
> Enjoy and love you all!

He managed to step outside, almost immediately feeling eyes burning into him, watching him. He wanted to go and hide, preferably behind Daryl. With Daryl. Damn it. He cursed himself into thinking that. He could feel blood pumping to his cheeks, flustering them. He could feel it, he hoped it was just a little bit of red, not totally, dark red. He avoided their eyes, scared they could still see a bit of gold in his eyes. Because, damn, it still felt like he was waiting for his alpha to do something. Shit, no, not _his_ alpha. An alpha. He wanted to slap himself in the face, trying to get it out of his head. 

He scraped his throat uncomfortable, not really knowing how to respond to everyone. He decided to sit down with the rest of them. Glenn sat next to Maggie, close to each other. Beth and Hershel were sitting close, Carl had Judith on his lap and was sitting next to Carol, who guided him. Only T-dog, Daryl and he were sitting alone. He did it on purpose, not sitting directly next to Daryl. “So.. how are you Rick?” Glenn asked him, attracting his attention. Obviously startled he looked up at Glenn, opening his mouth, without any sounds coming out of them. 

Get it together, Rick. Damn it. 

“I’m fine, thanks.” He said calm with a soft smile. He shouldn’t burden the rest of the group with this whole omega thing in his head. The pack shouldn’t have to know about his thoughts, Lori, Daryl, unfit to lead the pack. “I’ll be back to normal soon.” He continued while he played with his hands. He didn’t even know if that’s true, he wouldn’t know. He could only hope that he spoke the truth, that he would return to his normal self soon. Glenn slowly nodded and tilted his head a bit. “So you and Daryl hooked up?” He almost choked at that question. He felt blood rushing even more to his cheeks, Maggie gave Glenn an elbow in his ribs, making Glenn move sideways. “What? It’s obvious! Just asking what everyone thinks!” 

His eyes trailed off to Daryl, who, to his surprise, even had a slight blush on his cheeks. He didn’t even know how to answer that. They didn’t really… talk about that? It just.. happened? “Well?” A curious question came from Glenn again. Geez, there was no way around it. He shared a look with Daryl and bit his lip, looking in Daryl’s eyes. His eyes full with confusion, not knowing what to say or what they really were. The group was completely silent. “We… uh…” He tried to say, to break the silence, but he didn’t really know what to say. “We’re… together.” He said it before he even realized what he meant. He looked at Glenn, at the rest of the pack, who were looking at them with big eyes. 

“I knew it!” Glenn said with a big smile. Fuck, he could feel the blush darken on his face. Shit, did he really say that? He couldn’t even look at Daryl’s face right now. He just… decided this on his own? How? Fuck, he couldn’t look at Carl, he totally forgot that he was here. Well, might been better to hear this than ‘yea uhm we did just grind against each other until we came’. Fuck, don’t think about that. Otherwise his body would remember it more intense than his mind did. He didn’t want to produce slick once again… “You must been thrilled Daryl!” Glenn said, enthusiastic as ever. The man really couldn’t read the atmosphere right? 

“Yeah,” The voice said like it was on autopilot. He bit his lip, he was probably mad, right? Fuck, he must be so mad that he said this when there was nothing going on between them but lust. Instinct. He heard footsteps in his direction, but he was too scared to see who or what it was. It wasn’t a walker, probably, because the pack would’ve stood up already if that was the case. “Rick, a word.” He heard Daryl say to him. Shit, there they go. He was going to be so mad at him. He nodded and stood up without looking at anyone, following Daryl. He couldn’t even manage to look at him. He was just preparing himself for the angry response from the hunter. 

But instead he felt arms wrapping around him and a sigh that almost sounded relieved. “Ya meant it?” the man asked him, holding him close. He was frozen, not understanding what was happening. He breathed in Daryl’s scent. It smelled like… He was worried? He slowly wrapped his arms around Daryl, placing his head against his neck. “I.. I think so.. yes.” He softly said to him, breathing in his scent. It did something to him. He just… loved this scent. Made him feel safe in this rotten world. Just like how Carl and Judith’s scent calmed him.. But this was different. 

“So we’re really together?” the alpha asked him when he pulled back a little bit, so they could look into their eyes. Rick bit his lip and cupped Daryl’s cheek with his hand. “Yeah…” he softly mumbled. “But.. not mates yet. You have to understand that.” He softly mumbled, closing his eyes as he laid his forehead against Daryl’s. Daryl placed his hand over his nape, making Rick whine softly. “Won’t bite ya until I have permission, promise…” Rick softly smiled at those words and let his hand slide up the hunter’s hair. 

They moved closer to each other and their lips met once again this day. It was a soft, slow, loving kiss. Not like any kiss they had until now. And it felt amazing. Daryl asked for entrance by licking over his bottom lip. He didn’t even hesitate and opened his mouth, letting Daryl’s tongue enter his mouth. He grabbed the hair of the hunter and pushed himself more against Daryl, just wanting to be closer to him as they could be. It wasn’t a very heated kiss, like they’d shared just like an hour ago, but enough for his body to start producing slick once again. As soon as Daryl seemed to smell it he pulled back and placed a kiss on his forehead. He could see the red in Daryl’s eyes, so easy to spot in the normally blue eyes. His gold was probably showing too, wishing for more. He leaned forward and placed his head in Daryl’s neck, taking a good whiff from the scent gland, before pulling back with a deep blush on his face. This would be a lot to get used to. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teenage boy and their puberty..

He walked back to the pack, who looked at him with curious eyes. Damn. They must’ve thought he was angry too, but they could probably think about some things that might have happened to return with a deep blush. But he didn’t want to think about that, he wanted to talk to Carl. Shit, he had to talk to Carl. Carl deserved to know everything about this. He looked at the boy, who might just avoided his eyes. “Carl?” he asked softly, kneeling down in front of him. “Can we talk?” he mumbled while he tried to restrain himself to touch Carl. The boy nodded as he handed Judith over to Carol and stood up. 

Rick walked away while Carl walked behind him. When they were far enough Rick sat down against a wall and patted next to him to sign to Carl. He took a deep breath and looked at him. “I didn’t want it to go this way, Carl..” he softly said to him, his voice maybe even weak. He just didn’t know. Shit, he wish he knew how his voice sounded right now. He bit his lip and closed his eyes. “We just.. We-“ 

“Stop it dad,” 

He swallowed his words and looked at Carl, who hid his face under the cowboy hat he gave him at Hershel’s. “I’m just… so sorry Carl.. I wanted to tell you first, it wasn’t even really official until Daryl and I walked away, I swear.” He softly said to him, almost begging him to forgive him. He didn’t want his child to hate on him. Really. “You can’t replace mom.” The words stabbed him right in his chest as he closed his eyes and whined. “You _can’t_ replace mom.” He said again, this time with a shaking voice. “I’m not… I’m not replacing your mom.. I swear Carl I-“ He placed a hand against his face, trying to make sense. But everything he thought of didn’t make sense. Fuck. 

“Did you love her?” the sound of his pups voice sounded weak, trembling and sad. He wanted to hug him, to keep him close to him. But he knew this wasn’t the time, he would only get mad at him for doing it. “Yes.” He answered without even thinking about it. “But sometimes moms and dads fall out of love..” he whispered softly to him, in his eyes pain showing. Of course it still hurt, but he now knew the difference. “I loved her like my best friend, I loved her like I loved Shane…” He couldn’t make more of it, that’s for sure. Carl stood up and Rick looked up to him. “You’re lying.” The boy said as tears fell down on the ground. He wanted to grab his hand, pull him right onto his lap, but he couldn’t. He just _couldn’t_. 

Carl ran away, leaving him alone. He looked up to the sky, he wanted to cry so badly, but it seemed like his body used all the fluids inside of him. He slowly got up and walked to the tower, climbing upstairs. With only a nod he switched places with T-Dog. Better, some peace on his own. No-one to come in his way. Just alone with his thoughts. He tried to avoid his thoughts, but it was time to face it and he knew it. His whole life was standing upside down, a full one-eighty degrees around. “I’m so sorry Lori…” he whispered softly, clenching his fists. He dug his nails onto his own skin, like he needed to feel it. 

His thoughts went to all the memories he had with her and Carl, with her and Shane, with her alone. Fuck, she was such a big part of his life. What he didn’t expect was the fact that Daryl flashed in front of his eyes. He couldn’t help but feel calm when he saw the alpha in front of him. He _wanted_ him. _Needed_ him. And just like that he felt his omega instinct take over for just a second. He wanted to _breed_ for him. His body shivered with anticipation because of that thought. Damn, damn, damn. Never thought he would think that. It was like all his supressed thoughts came up. 

And the worst thing? He didn’t even mind. He even wanted to offer it to Daryl, right now if he could. The only thing he didn’t want right now? A mating bite. He didn’t want it. Not now, not in this period. What if things didn’t work out? He could take care of pups. He couldn’t take care of a mating bite. What would happen if he ever found out Daryl wasn’t _the one_? Just like Lori also wasn’t the one. He always thought she was the one for him. But apparently, she wasn’t. 

Time flew by and he had to say, it was good that he finally had some time for himself. Glenn had a shift now. Rick slowly went down, kind of glad that he finally had ground under his feet. He walked up to the cell blocks, where a recognizable scent lingered. He took a deep breath and unconsciously he walked faster, only to hug the man from behind. 

“Jesus!” the man growled, clearly shocked. “You’re fuckin’ lucky that I didn’t kill ya with an arrow.” Daryl mumbled. But honestly? He didn’t care about that. He pushed his head more against Daryl’s shoulder, holding Daryl close. “Want to sleep together?” Rick softly whispered to his back, it should be a good start. And maybe, just maybe, he’d want to try it next heat with him. To breed. “Mmhmm.” Daryl hummed and slowly turned around to cup his nape. Rick’s body went lax and he softly smiled to him. “Let’s go and sleep, ya’ll need it.” Daryl whispered in his ear, making his body break out in goose bumps all over him. “Yeah…” He softly said to him, grabbing Daryl’s hand softly. 

Together they went to Daryl’s bed, it was going to get cramped but he didn’t mind. After all those thoughts all he wanted was to be in his arms, forgetting the problems he had with Carl, forgetting all the insecurities he felt with his leadership. Sleeping on his own was hard anyway, he wouldn’t mind to try at least. They didn’t even dare to undress, if something happened they had to be ready. Daryl slowly laid down on his matrass, opening the blanket for him to join. Rick took a deep breath and slowly got in the bed, facing Daryl. Daryl looked a bit hesitant at him, which made Rick huff a laugh and place his head against Daryl’s chest. He softly put his leg between Daryl’s legs, while he took a deep whiff from his vest. He could still scent himself on it, making him purr softly. Daryl put an arm around him, holding him close to him. Daryl’s other arm under his head, to use it like a kind of pillow. He felt Daryl’s soft lips on his head. He closed his eyes and let out a soft purr, to which Daryl responded with a rumble.

It was the best sleep Rick had gotten so far. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insecurities (again)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating for so long!!   
> I had a bit of a struggle with time and with the way the chapters looked like, still not really sure about it... but I didn't want to let you guys wait any longer!  
> So, sorry again 

When he woke up he felt the warm body pressed against him, how Daryl’s face was buried in his curls. Was he still asleep? From what he heard from his breathing: yes. He pushed himself more against the alpha, taking his scent in deeply. Fuck, this was way too addicting already. He closed his eyes, enjoying the scent he was taking in. He never really thought about what kind of scent Daryl had. His scent was a mixture of oak.. with nicotine and something sweet. He couldn’t really figure out what exactly, though. But he liked it. He liked his scent. It calmed him, it wasn’t like Glenn’s scent or Hershel’s scent. 

He laid his arm around Daryl, softly stroking his side. He could hear Daryl letting out a sleepy moan, which made him smile softly. “Wake up…” he softly mumbled to him, stroking his side softly. He could hear a deep sigh, while the alpha nuzzled more into his hair. “Don’t wanna… dream is too nice…” the hunter mumbled in his hair, making him huff a laugh out of him. “What you dreamin’ about?” he asked him softly, not daring to move. “About you… in my arms..” he softly mumbled. He laughed and looked up, forcing him to move. “That’s real, though.” He said placing a kiss on his lips. He could feel how the man leaned into him more, the arm that was wrapped around him sliding a bit lower. Just above his hips the arm stopped and pulled him closer to the alpha, making him softly whine against Daryl’s lips.

Shocked he pulled away, placing his hand over his mouth as blood started to rise to his face. A bit of red had leaked into Daryl’s eyes, noticing the whine. He could feel the shivering that went over Daryl’s body, reacting to an omega’s whine. Fuck, he wasn’t supposed to do that. It felt hard for him to say something, the blue-red eyes looking into his eyes like he was searching for anything. “We- uhm.. we should..” he stammered, unable to even speak a whole sentence. He could hear a low growl from Daryl’s lips as he started to figure out what he meant. Going out of bed, make sure that they were doing something. 

He could feel how the grip around him tightened, his eyes seemed as if he looked right in his mind. He bit his lip roughly, trying to control any sounds that tried to escape his mouth as Daryl traced his neck with his lips. “I don’t wanna.” The alpha growled against his neck. He could feel Daryl’s teeth softly grazing his neck, which made him gasp for air. His skin tingled at the places Daryl’s teeth grazed. It was somehow frightening. So frightening that he pushed Daryl away. 

_Thud._

Fuck. He pushed Daryl out of bed. But his mind wasn’t even busy with what he did. He got out of the bed and went to the rest of the pack like nothing happened, but his nape still tingled, his body covered in Goose Bumps. At that moment he really wanted to submit to Daryl. If he didn’t push him away he might have asked him to bite him. Which was insane. They were both drunk on their scents, on their sounds. That whine had awoken his inner alpha and he felt it. His hand softly rubbed his nape, trying to make his body forget. Shit, he was completely out of focus. 

He needed to calm down and right now there was only one person who could do that: Judith. He wanted to go to his pup as soon as possible. Because, fuck, Carl was still mad at him and he couldn’t go to Daryl. He went inside, to Judith’s cell. Carol was taking care of her. It was like she took one look at him and knew what he needed. “You alright?” Carol asked him cautiously. He softly nodded, walking towards her daughter. He took her into his arms, hugging her softly. “Yeah.. I’m fine…” He softly mumbled to the woman. She looked at him like she didn’t believe him, but he didn’t want to burden her with his problems with his thoughts. The problems with his instinct. The problem with not understanding what was going on with him. 

What would Shane have said? Nothing, probably. He would just laugh at him, make jokes about him. ‘Just take some pills.’ Yeah right. He wished he could, but they were gone. “Is it about you and Daryl?” the woman decided to ask him. He looked up a bit surprised, but as he thought. That woman had a radar around her for problems. “No.. No it’s fine.” He said, placing his nose against his pup to smell her. “It’s all fine…” He said, trying to sound as normal as he could. He just needed to recharge, that was all. He just had to get used to.. to everything. Almost his whole life he had suppressants. He got his first heat and after that he had suppressants. He never really felt any of these omega feelings. It scared the fuck out of him. Everything scared the fuck out of him. How he got more aware of certain scents, how he started to react to certain things. How he started to react to Daryl. 

He wanted to hide forever. 

He never knew that he could be that fucking scared. Fuck, he was Rick Grimes, cop. He even got shot and been in a coma for months. He woke up and adapted to this rotten world. And even then, he didn’t feel as scared as he was right now. There were no other omega’s here, meaning he couldn’t even really talk about it with anyone. No one knew how it was to go through these things. It made him feel insecure, he didn’t know what to expect. 

He closed his eyes, enjoying these little moments with Judith. “Where’s Carl?” he softly asked, but his voice thick with worry. Carol smiled at him. A smile that told him not to worry about his son. “He’s with Glenn.” She told him with a soft smile. He slowly nodded and slowly gave Judith back to her. “Thank you.. needed that.” He softly mumbled as he placed a last kiss against her forehead. Carol just nodded with a soft smile. “No problem, she’s your child. You can have her any time you want.” 

If things stayed like this, he already knew he would have her a lot. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say I'm so sorry to all the readers  
> I'm emotionally not really okay, so uploading is really unregular and I want to apologize for that.   
> I also want to apologize for this chapter, it looks kind of shitty to me but I can't get it right, so I'm just really sorry.   
> I'll try to get better with time. 
> 
> Hopefully, until soon! <3

He and Daryl worked on different shifts. Maybe it was partly on purpose, for him to plan it like that. But he was driven until the point of almost breaking. Still confused about everything. But even when they were together, as a pack, Daryl did nothing more than sitting next to him. Not even close to him, just sitting next to him. A small gap between them. A part of him couldn’t help but feel irritated. Rick groaned to himself, he shouldn’t be irritated. It was his own choice and they didn’t really got a chance to talk to each other about the fact that he pushed Daryl off his bed. 

He knew they should, but he was scared. He didn’t know what to say, what to explain. He also had to talk to Carl, he had to talk to so many people. He was just so tired once again. He had just too many worries, too much stress. It broke him and it didn’t help that he was having nightmares. Those fucking nightmares. People always started to die around him, Lori, Shane, Dale.. he dreamt that everyone here would die. That Carl would die, Judith would die. Daryl would die.

And it would all be his fault. He clenched his fists, looking down at knuckles which turned white. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. He didn’t want to lose anyone here. Everyone here was like family for him. He felt like a bad pack leader every time he did. Even if it wasn’t really his fault. He just felt like it was. Because he had to protect them for whatever they found. 

Tired flooded his body like a wave. It was timed just perfectly, Maggie and Glenn were going to take his shift over. He gave them a soft smile and returned to his cell. He stepped inside, turning around to close the door. He closed his eyes for a moment, before he smelled something very, very familiar. He turned around, his eyes widened. “Daryl?” He softly said with frown. Fuck, he didn’t want to talk about everything. “Rick.” Daryl said shortly to him, stepping forward. Rick looked next to him, not trying to look into the alpha’s eyes.

“It’s been a while.” He tried to say with a small smile, while he tried to look at him. But Daryl’s face looked far from happy. “Yeah.” He said with squinted eyes. Oh fuck he was mad. He just had a little bit of control over his body, preventing it from trembling. His body wanted to. He wanted to tremble, kneel down for the alpha and beg him for forgiveness. But that wasn’t his style. “Ya avoidin’ me Rick?” The alpha said, stepping forward, pushing him against the wall of his cell. Rick had a hard time swallowing, but somehow he managed. 

“N-no.” he stammered, but he heard how unbelievable it sounded. Fuck, it sounded so pathetic. He wasn’t going to get around this. He needed to talk to him. “Yes…” he softly managed to say while his eyes trailed off to the ground. Fuck he felt so vulnerable. He felt Daryl’s fingers trailing across his neck. Rick held back a whine, his eyes firmly closed. He opened his eyes, staring into Daryl’s. He had to be the stronger one here right now. 

“Why?” It sounded almost growling from the alpha’s mouth. Why? Fuck he didn’t want to explain that. “Scared…” But his omega side just didn’t agree with him. He hated this to the bone. The squinted eyes from the hunter started to widen just a bit. “Scared of what?” the alpha said, the growl still in his voice but that wasn’t the only thing he managed to hear. There was a glimpse of… Worry? “Everythin’…” he softly said to him. It wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t a fucking lie. He was fucking scared of everything he felt and he hated it. 

The grip loosened a bit, but the touches were still there. The alpha seemed to calm down a little bit, but still seemed to feel some anger inside of him. “What in particular?” He wanted to tell everything to him, every single thing. “Me…” he said with a soft whine. He could feel the alpha tense up. Alpha’s wanted to protect the omega’s. But protecting them from themselves? That was something even Daryl wasn’t able to do. 

“I’m scared of what I’m feeling, scared of everything that’s changing. Fuck, I never felt like this and it makes me scared.” He said, looking away from Daryl. Shit, he didn’t even want him to know this, why would he tell him it in the first place? Shit, shit, shit. He felt the strong arms wrapping softly around his middle, pulling him closer. He took a deep, shaky breath. Complimenting his thoughts. He was slowly breaking, that’s how he felt it. That’s how he felt. Slowly breaking. 

“Fuck, ‘m sorry, Rick.” The alpha softly said, holding him tightly pressed against him. Trying to make a safe space for him in his arms. But damn, those were exactly the things he was afraid of. He softly lied his face against Daryl’s shoulder, feeling helpless. Even more than he already felt. “I should’ve known that ya weren’t completely okay yet.” The alpha growled. The growl wasn’t meant for him, but for himself and he knew that. But even then he couldn’t help to shiver at the growl. “ ‘m sorry for pushin’ ya.” The alpha mumbled against his showing skin. 

He took Daryl’s vest in his hands, tightly, holding him close like his life depended on him. Words were stuck somewhere in his throat. It was like he lost everything right in that moment. Fuck, he started to feel angry again. Not angry with Daryl, Carl or anyone else. He was angry with himself once again. He softly bit his lip, hoping his scent wouldn’t change, so Daryl wouldn’t notice the fact that he felt this way. He had to do something to distract himself, before he would notice. This was everything he wanted to talk about. Nothing more.

So he softly placed his lips in Daryl’s neck, placing soft kisses there. Like he wanted to reassure his alpha. It was for his own distraction, though, but this wouldn’t hurt. Daryl obvious felt guilty, so this would reassure him a bit. He could hear an approving sound leaving Daryl’s throat. This would help them both to get through this. He softly stroked his back, placing his nose against Daryl’s neck. “It’s okay…” Rick softly said to the alpha. “You didn’t know.” He reassured the alpha. He slowly pulled back, looking into the blue eyes. His red had faded, thank god. “Just goin’ to take it easy.. alright?” he softly said. 

Daryl softly nodded to his words. He felt Daryl’s forehead touching his, a hand against the back of his head. Daryl closed his eyes and took a deep breath and let him go. “Yeah.. I’ll give you time.” The hunter said to him with a reassuring look. “Just… don’t avoid me anymore. Losin’ my mind without ya.” The hunter groaned to him. Rick slowly nodded to answer his words.

And he found it was really hard to swallow once again. 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know where I'm going with this, even though I have a red line in my head about what I want to happen... Not completely sure if this was what I wanted it to be :")

So... in the end he and Daryl made up. That’s everything he knew. It was hard though, his omega body started to crave him more and _more_. He wanted him to touch him more, dominate him more and maybe the most scary thing he felt in his life: He wanted him to mate him. He already wanted that for weeks. He tried to be around the other alpha’s, trying to see if that had the same effect, but it looked like it wasn’t. Like his body had it’s arrows pointed towards Daryl. 

No matter where he went, it felt like Daryl was following him, looking out for him like he was a young deer. Like he was stalking him, a hunter stalking his prey. And maybe he wanted him to. His omega inside him almost screamed. This primal thing inside of him. He wanted Daryl to chase him. Wanted to run, let the alpha catch him. It was frightening. 

Daryl became a lot more touchy too. Whenever they were alone he grabbed his hand to pull him close. Sometimes just to hug him, other times to place soft kisses in his neck. At first he felt uncomfortable, but he started to like it. More and more. He knew why, though. At least, he thought he knew why. Maybe it was because of Daryl’s touches, maybe because it was just his body, but every day was a day closer to his heat. He wouldn’t know when or why, but he knew it wasn’t more than a month until his heat would hit him again.

That was probably why he started to want more of him. Like his body wanted to get used to the alpha, to spend his heat with this alpha. They never even talked about what they were going to do once his heat would hit him. It could be so sudden. And the last time he already whined Daryl’s name like his life depended on him. His heat crossed all the borders in his mind. 

Rick took a deep breath, leaning against a wall. This might’ve been the first time he was really on his own without Daryl stalking him. They should really talk about what to do when his heat would hit. Though, he wasn’t sure Daryl would be able to restrain himself once more. He already restrained himself the last time he went into heat and Rick wasn’t sure he was going to pull it off once more. Especially because they were so close now, closer than they ever were. 

And he still had a problem: Carl. He still barely looked at him. Avoiding him like he was nothing. He could understand, yes, he fucking lost his mom. His dad went all berserk, ignored his new baby sister and a few weeks later he was in a relationship with another person. He completely understood him, but damn it hurt. He just wanted to have him in his arms, close to him. But he couldn’t. 

His nostrils widened when he smelled the scent he almost started to long for. He could smell him from meters away. He let out a soft purr, even though the alpha was nowhere near him yet. He did so much to his body without even doing anything. Maybe it was the anticipation, maybe it was something else. Maybe it was everything and maybe it was nothing at all. 

When the alpha was in his field of sight he almost wanted to hide, wanted for the alpha to search him. But luckily, he had more control over his body than his omega mind would have wanted. Instead he looked at the alpha, with anticipation in his eyes. 

As the alpha moved closer he saw the dark eyes, strings of red inside of the blue eyes. A shiver went through his body, his mouth dry. “Hey,” he softly said when the alpha stopped in front of him, licking his lips. Daryl nodded as greeting and just stared at him. He shifted his weight a bit, it felt like he was standing there, naked, and Daryl checking his whole body. He couldn’t, of course, he had his clothes on. But that look in his eyes made him feel that way. 

“How are ya?” Was the question the man asked him softly. That was probably the last thing he’d expected from the man right now. “Just… thinkin’.. you know..” He softly said. God, he sounded like a fucking teenage girl talking to her high school crush. “Thinkin’ ‘bout what?” Daryl softly asked him, stepping close and lowering his head to lay it down in his neck. God, a lot of things had been on his mind. Carl, heat, the pack… He took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent of the alpha right in front of him. “Thinkin’ about us..” He decided to say softly, feeling the alpha tense up against him. He softly bit his lip and met the alpha’s gaze. His blue eyes were filled with confusion. He had to say something. Damn it. It wasn’t like that. He wasn’t going to break this off.

“I want you to breed me.” The words fell out of his mouth like it was the most natural thing to say for him. 

Silence. 

The man moved away from him, his eyes a bit more red than before, but a confused look on his face. “Wait… ya want me… to what?” Daryl asked him confused. He got it, really, he said it before he didn’t want that and now he was saying he did want it. He bit his lip softly and placed a hand carefully on the alpha’s cheek, looking him straight in those blue-red eyes with his bleeding gold-blue eyes. “I want you to breed me, Daryl.” The alpha let out a low, possessive growl and placed a hand on his hip, softly digging his fingertips in the fabric, as if it was grabbing his skin. 

He shivered a bit, but didn’t look away from those reddening eyes. He didn’t want to look away. “Ya sure?” Daryl asked him softly, cautious. “Because I won’t be able to back down if ya say it then.” He softly grumbled, closing his eyes and leaning forward to lean against his forehead. Wasn’t he showing it already? He had asked him, twice, once right into his eyes. “Yeah,” He said in a breath, he had been thinking about it for quite a while now and shit, he wanted it. 

“What if ya end up pregnant?” Daryl asked him, his breathing had gone quite heavy, just because of the idea of breeding him. He made the right choice, he wouldn’t be able to suppress through another heat and he didn’t want him to go through with that either. “Then I’ll have your pup…” He softly mumbled, earning a pleased rumble from the alpha’s chest. He opened his eyes to look at the almost fully red eyes from the alpha and let out a soft whine. 

He probably liked the idea of him being pregnant, of course he did. That was the best prize for an alpha to take. “Fuck, Rick, I’m goin’ to put a damn pup in ya.” He said with a low growl, placing a hand on his lower belly, where the pup would grow if he’d end up fertilized. He swallowed thickly and let his hand wander towards Daryl’s hair, intertwining his fingers in the slightly longer hair Daryl had gotten. “Yes.” Rick had answered breathlessly, leaning towards Daryl’s neck to place his head there, while Daryl wrapped his arms around him, softly purring for him. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talking with Carl!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update!!  
> I'm more happy now about this chapter, because I didn't write this back in January, lol.   
> Because that was my problem, I wrote most chapters back in January and I wasn't as confident in writing in English as I am now, plus I wasn't used to it at all so it was kind of shitty.   
> SO I hope this is better quality than like chapter one or something lmao.   
> Enjoy! xx

The soft purrs that reached his ears felt amazing, relaxing him at its most. Of course pups wasn’t really… a good plan. But there was always a chance that he didn’t end up pregnant and he’d get another heat. Maybe it was better if he’d get pupped as well, just because he wouldn’t end up weak with carrying a pup and he wouldn’t have a heat for a long time. Well, Daryl would become more protective, though, but that could work out positive as well for the group. 

He let out a soft purr of himself against the alpha, softly nudging the alpha’s cheek. His omega insides were content, he himself was content with himself. He just felt happy right now, like he belonged here in the arms of this alpha. He could just forget everything, even the walkers. It was fine like this, perfect. He had closed his eyes, relaxing in the arms of the strong man. Not thinking about any of his problems, just enjoying the moment he had with this man. 

He softly pulled away from the man, who was smiling at him and placed a kiss against his forehead. “Fuckin’ perfect for me.” Daryl softly mumbled to him, caressing his jawline. He looked up to Daryl’s eyes, a lot less red than they were, but there were still slight traces of the red in his usual blue eyes. He smiled shyly to the man, leaning in to the soft touches. 

Daryl grinned to him and let his hands wander down, caressing his sides softly as their bodies kept close to each other. The man softly placed his lips against his and he felt like he was completely melting against the man. Like nothing could ever hurt them. Nipping at the other persons lips, playfully, teasingly. He couldn’t help but chuckle softly and look smiling at the man. “Need to go..” He softly said to the alpha, placing a chaste kiss to the lips of the man. “See you tonight?” He said with a bit of hope in his voice. 

The alpha purred and nodded, stepping away from him. “See ya tonight.” The alpha said with a pleased rumble. The fact he had someone to come back to, was weird in his mind. It used to be like that with Lori, but now.. now everything had changed. Lori was gone, he had Judith right now, his omega was unsuppressed… So everything had changed. He sighed softly and went with his hand through his hair. He knew what he had to do, something he’d been avoiding for a bit while his hormone level was getting even and when his emotions had gotten more stabilized. 

He had to speak to Carl. The last time he had spoken to him didn’t go well, so it was even more important that he would talk to him right now. Before his heat would start, before he’d know that his dad and Daryl were spending his heat _that_ way. Well, he knew already, but he could explain himself to him. Talk to him like he was an adult. That was all he had to do, to not look at him like a child but a grown man. 

He slowly walked to the small boy, who’d always be the small five-year old in his mind who’d clung around his legs all the time. He looked down at him, his old sheriff hat still on him. It looked good on him, it really did. He slowly sat down next to him and placed his hand on his knee. “I’m sorry.” He softly said to his son. “I really, really am, Carl.” He looked towards Carl’s face and still saw the angry look in his eyes. 

He sighed softly and looked down at his lap, he didn’t know how to explain himself. How was there any good explanation for this? He fucked up, that’s what he did. Let himself go with the flow and not thinking about the problems that would arise because of this. He could literally get his award for worst dad of the year. “I still love your mom.” He softly said, looking at his hands. And he knew she’d always have a spot in his heart. Even if their marriage had been falling apart for a long while now, he’d always love her. In a different way, like she was family. 

“I’ll always love her.” He said, looking over to Carl. “No-one will ever change that, Carl.” He didn’t know how he could’ve said it any other way. He’d probably still be angry at him and he got it, really. He would’ve been pissed too if his dad would do this. “I’m not replacin’ her.. No-one is able to replace her, Carl.” And maybe those words were the words that made his voice waver. He wasn’t completely over Lori. He knew that, it wasn’t just a snap with his fingers. “Not Daryl, not Glenn, not Carol, no-one can replace her.” Because no-one could. No-one could replace the woman he fell in love with, the woman who he married all those years ago. 

He didn’t even notice he was crying, until Carl hugged him and pressed his face against his chest and said the words. “I miss mom too.” And he just hugged him back, wrapping his arms tightly around his pup. And maybe this was one of the first times that they kind of talked about it together. When she had died he had closed himself off and then was the whole thing with him being an omega… Shit, he’d been a really shitty dad wasn’t he? Carl had seen her die, had to put a damn bullet in her head while it had to be him that had to do it. 

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry Carl.” He said with a broken sob, holding his pup close to his chest. He should’ve been there for him, should’ve given him more attention than he had given him. Should’ve been a father to him. He was going to try to listen more to him, try to be there for him as a dad. Like he should be. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl was not as clingy, at times of dinner they sat next to each other with their thighs against each other, but they weren’t touching each other the whole time, they spend time apart, they could just be fine with seeing each other on the other side of the field.
> 
> The nights were different. Whenever Daryl had a nightshift he’d be staying with him and the same for the other way around. Though the other person would just be there and sleep, while the other did the watching. Well, that wasn’t completely true. They switched a lot. So both of them would earn some sleep. And sometimes he would go and check up on Judy while Daryl would watch their surroundings. When they both didn’t have a shift, they would sleep together. And he managed to get Daryl into his cell, because of Judith. He couldn’t be up there every night. He couldn’t do that to Beth. And Daryl had a quite soft spot for her too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long chapter?? Is that correct???
> 
> YES! 
> 
> Dear lord I had so much fun writing this, even though this is like the third time I've written smut, lmao.   
> Oh, yeah, we're getting the good things today ; ) 
> 
> So enjoy!!
> 
> I'm active on instagram as @lovewido (get notified for updates there!!), discord as @lovewido and on telegram as @lovewido!! I'm always open for talking, so hmu! c:

Talking with Carl had been a good decision for him to do. Especially if his heat would hit pretty soon.. It wouldn’t be clever if he went into that heat while it wasn’t cleared up between him and Carl. Carl seemed to understand his point of view right now, but he was still a bit mad. And he understood that, Carl deserved to be mad at him. At least they were talking normal right now and he was allowed to sit next to him, which was a huge improvement to the avoiding he had to go through. 

He sighed softly, rubbing his hand over his nape. Carl needed time to wrap his head around everything, so he wouldn’t push onto him. It was a good thing Daryl wasn’t as clingy in public as he was when they were alone, that was helping a lot. Some alpha’s tended to be extremely clingy, always touching the omega and never leaving their side for even a second. Daryl was not as clingy, at times of dinner they sat next to each other with their thighs against each other, but they weren’t touching each other the whole time, they spend time apart, they could just be fine with seeing each other on the other side of the field.

The nights were different. Whenever Daryl had a nightshift he’d be staying with him and the same for the other way around. Though the other person would just be there and sleep, while the other did the watching. Well, that wasn’t completely true. They switched a lot. So both of them would earn some sleep. And sometimes he would go and check up on Judy while Daryl would watch their surroundings. When they both didn’t have a shift, they would sleep together. And he managed to get Daryl into his cell, because of Judith. He couldn’t be up there every night. He couldn’t do that to Beth. And Daryl had a quite soft spot for her too. 

The hard parts was when Daryl would go out hunting or on a run. He didn’t want to be extra obvious with his stressed behaviour, because it was a dangerous thing to think about; the fact Daryl could die outside the gates. That was something that kept him busy. A lot. If Daryl would not return… he wouldn’t know what that would do to him, especially so close to Lori’s death. 

But, no more thinking like that. He had something planned, something he never even dared to think of. His gut twisted slightly with a combination of anticipation and nervousness. He couldn’t help it, it was just quite scary to think about it. Of course he had done something a bit quite like this.. but this would lead to other things he had never even done before in his life. 

Beth had Judy for the night, she’d gladly taken her with a wink and a smirk on her face. _She knew exactly what was going on._ He looked around, not really knowing what else to prepare than himself. Mentally. But he didn’t want to push it away any longer, he didn’t want to push his instincts further away. 

“Ya won’t believe what I caught to-“ The raspy voice made him look up, but the man couldn’t even finish his sentence as he saw how he was laying on the bed. _Fully naked_. “ _Jesus_.” Daryl almost gasped, letting his eyes wander over his fully naked body. He didn’t miss the slight hungry look in the eyes, the slight redness in the normally blue eyes of the man. He couldn’t help to feel a couple of things that were completely against each other. He felt self-conscious, but heated at the same time. He felt relieved that Daryl looked so hungrily to him, but felt insecure at the same time because he didn’t do anything. Why didn’t he do anything? 

He slowly rose to his feet and walked to Daryl, slow and careful. He was vulnerable, naked like this. He knew he was. He softly placed a hand on Daryl’s chest and placed his head against Daryl’s shoulder, softly nuzzling it. He earned a soft, pleased rumble from the slightly older man, who wrapped his arms around his waist. Protective, but possessive at the same time. “Ya ‘re gonna kill me.” Daryl softly growled, which made him huff a soft laugh. 

He slowly looked up to the alpha, the red streaks in his eyes now so obvious to him up close like this. He softly placed a hand on Daryl’s cheek and let his tongue run over his lips. Daryl growled softly, before taking his lips up in a claiming kiss. Possessive, claiming him all the way and made him melt against the alpha. A soft whine had left his mouth before he even knew it, which made an opening for the alpha to claim the inside of his mouth. 

He knew it wouldn’t be long before they wouldn’t be able to back off, but the kiss made him feel like he was melting, the calloused hands on his naked body felt strong and possessive, and he couldn’t -and didn’t- wanted to leave that feeling. Daryl’s hands started to wander over his body, as if he wanted to remember every small curve of his body, while his hormones in the saliva started to take action within his own body. 

He parted with Daryl’s lips, softly panting, and found out that he didn’t want to leave this man’s lips. He never wanted to stop kissing this man, because it felt so _good_. “Bed…” He breathed softly against the alpha’s lips. The alpha’s eyes flashed for a bit, before he let out a soft growl and lead him backwards to the bed. He bit his lip softly when he fell back and felt the soft matrass against his back. Daryl lost his vest, before he climbed onto the bed. On instinct, almost automatically, he opened his legs for the alpha to come in between. 

Daryl’s lips found his again, claiming him back. He let his hands wander to Daryl’s sleeveless shirt and started to unbutton them, which was a lot harder while you were kissing, before shoving it back a bit. Daryl started to shrug it off, which allowed him to let his hands wander over the alpha’s bare skin, even with the little bumps he felt on his back. He knew Daryl’s scars, even with a shirt on he could always feel them. 

“Daryl, please.” He whined softly against Daryl’s lips, spreading his legs a bit more for the alpha. Daryl started to place kisses in his neck instead, making him stretch his neck a bit more for the man to take full control over it. “What d’ya want, Rick?” Daryl’s rough voice reached his ears, even through the hammering pulse he felt at the moment. It was like everything was filtered out except for him and Daryl’s sounds. 

“I want you, Daryl, please.” He whined softly, moving up his hips slightly. Daryl let out a soft growl in response and softly bit down on his shoulder, careful to not break his skin. Daryl took two of his own fingers in his mouth, sucking on them, before the hand started to travel more down. He bit his lip softly, looking down at where the fingers were going. And then the fingers were out of sight, but he could feel them. One of the fingers was gently teasing his slicked hole, softly pushing against it, softly running over it. 

He’d had his fingers in before, at his last heat. God, he remembered that. He whined pleadingly, before Daryl’s finger, finally, pushed inside of him. He would lie if he said he’d never played with himself in there after his heat, most of the time when Daryl was on a run, though. The way Carol looked at him whenever he brought his bed sheet which was soaked in the scent of an aroused omega was just embarrassing. 

The finger inside of him started to thrust in and out of him, teasing his rim, trying to get him relaxed while his body started producing even more slick to make sure he wouldn’t get hurt. Because his body got the game and it would start getting ready for the alpha’s knot that would come later on. He felt a slight burn when a second finger started to go past the rim, widening him. But even with the slight burn, a soft moan left his mouth, as Daryl’s hand softly caressed his hips and lower abdomen. 

And then he found it. It made him moan a bit too loud he assumed, but at that point he couldn’t care less. Daryl started to scissor his fingers to stretch him out some more, before entering a third finger. He laid his head back on the cushion underneath him, while he clutched his hands onto some bedsheets. Who knew it would feel this good? He did it on his own a couple of times, but this… This was scandalous good. 

The fingers left his slicked, stretched hole, making him make a pleading whine. He was empty while he should be filled up by now. Daryl kissed him, passionately, heated, dirty. He wrapped his legs around Daryl’s clothed waist -why the hell did he still have jeans on?- trying to ease him into fucking into him. Because that’s what he wanted. 

“Daryl, _please_.” And he thought he’d never even pleaded that bad before, put so much effort into it as he did right now. Well, if you didn’t think about him in heat. “Ssh… I got ya, I got ya, Rick.” He nodded frantically, but still couldn’t help the whine when the man pulled away to remove the last pieces of clothing. Daryl huffed a small laugh, amused. 

And then his alpha was fully naked. He looked at his full body, licking his lips in anticipation. “Turn ‘round fer me, sweetheart.” And he didn’t know how fast to do that. Because he would kneel for his alpha, completely submit to him. His shoulders low to the matrass, his ass prompted up highly and his legs spread. He could hear to low, pleased rumble from the alpha while he let his calloused hands run over his body. “Look at’cha, jesus.” Daryl said to him with a pleased voice.

He pushed his hips slightly in Daryl’s direction, letting out a soft whine. “ _Please_ , I can’t wait any longer, Daryl, please.” He would never say he actually had to beg like that, he would deny that for the rest of his life, but damn. It had to be the truth for today. He could almost feel the man smile behind him, before lining his cock up with his slick hole. 

And then he slowly started to push in. He could feel the resistance his body tried to put up, while he tried to relax under Daryl’s soft touches. When the head breached his rim completely, it wasn’t long before Daryl bottomed out in him and caressed his body softly. Daryl’s chest against his back, the soft kisses on his displayed nape, the way he could feel Daryl just completely claiming him. He tried to breathe in and out as calmly as possible, before he gave it a couple of testing squeezed, making the alpha above him groan softly and tease him with some soft bites. 

And then he softly nudged Daryl’s thigh with one of his hands, nudging him to move. He was at a loss for words at this moment, he just needed him to move. Daryl picked up the hint and slowly started to thrust in and out of him. And it was a feeling like never had felt before. He didn’t even know he was moaning until Daryl entered his fingers inside of his mouth and made him suck on them, to silence the moans he was letting go out of his mouth. 

The slow thrust slowly started up a higher rhythm, with him following with his hips. He wanted everything, he needed everything. He wanted to beg for his knot, he wanted his knot in him, wanted to feel him inside of him. How his walls would clench down on the knot, earning every little bit of sperm from his alpha. The thrust started to get a bit more fierce, a bit more power into them. Like he was trying to get as deep as possible, to claim him as deep as possible. Even though he was the only alpha that he had let inside of him. 

“Shit, jesus, Rick, ‘m gonna-“ And he just nodded his head frantically. “Please, please, Alpha, _please knot me_.” he begged while he kept moving his hips. “Please, alpha, I wanna come, I wanna come on your knot, please.” He said with a high pitched whine. He could feel the rhythm getting a bit more broken, the shivering that went through Daryl’s body, the way how he could feel how the base of Daryl’s cock started to inflate slightly. 

Daryl bit down on his shoulder, before the knot fully inflated inside of him, pressing against his prostate which made him whine softly. The alpha trembled above him, his fingers digging into his skin, leaving marks of his lovemaking with the omega. And then come started to flow inside of him, his eyelids started to flutter, while Daryl started to make small thrusts. He whined softly and it only took a couple of thrusts before he started to come on the sheets underneath them. 

Daryl wrapped his arms around him, before letting them both fall on their sides. Daryl’s knot in place inside of him, holding them like glue. He heard Daryl’s loud purrs behind him and before he knew it, he was purring as well. Daryl’s tongue slowly licking at the bite he’d just made, away from his nape. At least he didn’t bite him on his nape. “So good fer me… fuckin’ perfect..” Daryl softly mumbled against his shoulder, placing a soft kiss against it. 

And he couldn’t get that damn smile from his face. 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness! I've been operated on my arm and it hurts quite a lot, so I didn't feel like it. Plus, I got a tattoo which I had to take care of and work... so... yeah.. 
> 
> Also, you've probably heard about article 13 from EU, that they want to change it. If it gets through, I won't be able to post some of the fanfics anymore.. Maybe even none if it's going to be really bad, because I'm from the Netherlands (which is part of the EU)... So if it gets through with a date from when it's going to be shit, I'll try to give you guys the rest of the story in big lines, because I wouldn't be able to finish it :") 
> 
> Anyway, hope you like this chapter!
> 
> Remember to follow me on instagram as @lovewido for sneak peaks and more!! c:

After bliss was amazing, that was one thing he found out after Daryl and he did it. Well, everyone heard them, because the looks on their faces told them enough. Carl didn’t even dare to look him in the eyes. He got it, really. He knew how it was to hear your parents have sex, _yuck_. Well, Daryl wasn’t his parent, but.. well, he got it. He heard his old man having sex. That must have been very awkward for the young boy. 

Daryl loved peppering him with kisses when they were alone, loved to touch him all over. He knew what he gave Daryl meant so much more than just sex, it was a promise, commitment. Commitment towards the future, the fact that they would spend his heat together with him. For Daryl that meant the promise of breeding, of reproducing, of a possible mate. Those were high priorities for the alpha instincts inside of Daryl, even if he wasn’t really showing them. 

He could feel Daryl shift behind him, snuggling a bit closer to his nape. He had told Daryl that he wasn’t ready for mates yet, even if his instincts were screaming to him to please the alpha and let him bite him to seal the bond between them, to make sure the alpha would claim him and would take care of him. To be exclusively for him. 

He softly pressed himself a bit more against his alpha, to which the alpha replied with a pleased rumble. He loved to hear the rumbles from Daryl’s chest, depending on the situation it would be loud or soft, the rumbles meant for his ears. He had given himself completely to the man within the last few days. He also knew that this would influence the time for his next heat, that it would arrive more easily than before. Quicker than it would have been without an alpha. 

He slowly turned around, before he pressed his nose in the crook of the alpha’s neck. And Daryl encouraged that, because there would be no better thing for an alpha to let the omega get attached to their scent. Well, not that he wasn’t already attached to it. The scent made him feel safe, protected and loved. 

And maybe he should’ve known that a day like this couldn’t go completely the way he wanted it to be. He should’ve known that this quiet day would be ruined by something, even if that something felt nice. He could feel it, like an itch that couldn’t be relieved by scratching it, in the contrary, it would make it feel even worse. And instead of telling Daryl, he placed a soft kiss against his collarbone and slowly started to move away. “I’m goin’ to take a shower. See you later?” He asked with a soft smile to the man, who slowly nodded. “See ya soon, Grimes.” He said with a soft smile to him. 

Maybe because Daryl could already start to pick up the scent from him, maybe he was simply planning something and didn’t know about it, or it was just a simple thing to say because you couldn’t exactly avoid each other that much. He didn’t know, but he knew he wasn’t mentally prepared yet for what was about to come. Come, quite literally.

As soon as the water hit his body he shivered. They managed to get water, even if it was cold water. He’d rather have cold water to shower in than no water at all. And he kind of hoped that because of the cold shower it would go away, the itch inside of him. Because he wasn’t sure if he was ready for this yet, for what was going to happen anytime soon now. Especially because he felt the itching. He knew it was going to be less than a day before it would hit him really good and that he should tell anybody, especially Daryl, that it was going to be soon… 

But he couldn’t. 

After the shower he grabbed the knife that he had in the shower room, just in case there would be walkers around. He’d rather be unnecessarily be prepared than needing something he didn’t prepare. He slowly dried his body off, which seemed to him to have cooled off because of the water, but wasn’t probably the case. And then he grabbed his new clothes. Even though he knew they would be ruined anytime soon. If he already felt the itching… well… there was no telling when he’d start producing slick to be ready to take in his alpha’s cock and to be bred full- jesus. He placed a hand on his head, trying to calm himself down. Because damn, not only his body was starting to get ready, but his mind as well. 

Because he wanted his alpha to breed him. And he wanted his alpha to fill him up so nicely with his cock. And he wanted Daryl to bite him, make him his forever. He wanted to be pregnant with his alphas pup and future pups. He softly groaned as he slapped himself in the face. 

Get over it Grimes. Get your head together. 

He brought his dirty clothes to Carol, who did the washing and the cooking together with Beth. And by the look of everyone’s eyes, they were already starting to pick up his scent. It was Beth whom placed her hand on his arm with worried eyes. “You shouldn’t go out.” She softly said to him and for a moment he wanted to protest to that, he felt fine. He didn’t want to be locked up in here until his heat would finally hit him.

But he also knew that going out there was putting everyone at risk. Including himself. Walkers would pick up his scent even more, which made it more dangerous for him to go outside. It would increase the amount of walkers at the fence and.. 

He nodded slowly in defeat, “yeah… yeah…” He softly mumbled, placing a hand on his face. Beth softly smiled to him, warm, _safe_. He leaned forward and placed his face in her neck, showing his submission to her, but also looking for the comfort he needed so much. Because he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t scared. 

Because he was. 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter!!
> 
> There's smut in it, yes there is! ;D I was pretty tired while writing this though, so the grammar / spelling is probably not that good, as well as the quality. But I wanted this chapter to be finished because I'm going on vacation monday and won't have my laptop with me, so.. yeah! 
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy it! <3

From the moment he started to feel warm and mushy, he knew he was meant to be gone. Right now was the time his body was really getting himself ready to be bred. The warmth and fuzziness taking over his body, the way he just needed to touch himself to feel slightly relieved. Yeah, it was starting. It was really fucking starting. He paced around in the cell, looking outside every now and then to see if Daryl was coming. Where the hell was he? He must’ve known it this morning it shouldn’t be long before his heat would hit him for real. He let out a soft whine, almost complaining like. 

Beth was the first one who entered the cellblock, looking at him with confusion in her eyes. It was almost like they were sharing the same thought. _Where the hell is Daryl._ He whimpered softly as a new flood of warmness went down his spine, his hand against his lower abdomen as he crouched somewhat forward. “Where’s Daryl, Rick?” Beth’s soft voice reached him and he looked up to her, lifting his shoulders up. “I don’t know.” He said softly, trying to remain calm. 

Beth slowly nodded and walked towards him, softly rubbing his lower back. He eased into her touch with a soft smile. Mhm, that was nice. “Want me to get him for you?” Wow, flashback to the last time he went into heat. He gave her a slight grin and nodded, “Please.” He softly said to her. The last thing he wanted was after all these things for Daryl to not even show up. _Had he been a bad omega?_ His omega thoughts overtook his own, trying to find for any clues that Daryl didn’t want to breed him. But everything in his mind told him otherwise, because he’d been very touchy, even had sex when he wasn’t in heat and he seemed so goddamn happy when he told him he wanted Daryl to breed him during his next heat, _this_ heat. 

He tried to not touch himself, though he did undo himself of his clothes to feel less hot. His body felt like it was burning up, like he had a very high fever. Only this time he didn’t need some cool water on his forehead, he needed his alpha’s touches. His own hands started to wander over his body, if only it had been Daryl touching him like this. He could feel his slick thighs, his warm skin underneath his fingers. 

A growl startled him, sitting up straight and automatically grabbing for his knife. Only this hadn’t been a growl from a walker. This had been Daryl’s growl. He met the red eyes of the alpha, completely overtaken the blue and he could feel how his eyes started to burn to show the alpha his gold. He put the knife down and whimpered for the alpha, who was stalking closer. “Shit, knew I shouldn’t have let ya get outta the bed.” The alpha rumbled. 

He could feel the anticipation from deep inside of him stirring up. His alpha was here. His alpha was here and he was going to breed him. He whimpered again, closing his eyes as the alpha let his fingers slide over the skin on his neck. “Sssh..” Daryl softly shushed him, placing a soft kiss against his forehead. “’m ‘ere now. Gonna take care of ya darlin’.” Yes, yes, yes. Daryl leaned forward and he met the alpha’s lips with eagerness, he needed him inside of him, as quick as possible. 

He could hear the soft rumble from Daryl’s chest, the way his hands started to wander over his body like he was the only thing that could satisfy the alpha. And dear god, he wanted to be just that. He arched his back when Daryl’s hand reached his ass-cheeks, softly pressing back against the hand. The alpha let out a pleased rumble as their lips disconnected and Daryl’s lips found his sensitive neck. It started with just small, almost teasing pecks against the sensitive skin there, but quickly became open mouthed kisses and bites, which had him trembling on his legs. 

“Daryl please,” He whimpered softly to the alpha right there. He was still there now, he wasn’t completely taken over by his heat and shit, the need was only getting higher and higher. The alpha muttered something that he couldn’t quite hear, before he urged him down on the bunk bed. Before he even knew it, Daryl’s fingers were slowly running up and down through the crack of his ass, probably to feel how wet he was already. And dear lord he felt so damn wet. 

He pushed his hips back, trying to coax his alpha to enter his body like he wanted so badly. And who was the alpha to ignore the things the omega wanted? Daryl pushed his rough, calloused finger into him and he bared his neck completely for the alpha in response. Daryl sounded so pleased with him, the constant rumbles as if he was praising him for everything he did. And he wanted to be praised by his alpha, wanted to do anything for him. 

The alpha worked up to three fingers, rubbing his calloused fingers against his heated wall and dear god he was really losing it. He thrusted his hips back against the fingers of the alpha, clenching up around them to show him he was going to be so tight for his alpha, that he would be a great mate for his alpha, a clean mate. Because he hadn’t been fucked in his whole damn life by any alpha except Daryl. 

And he was eager for his alpha, he didn’t know what else to do to get the alpha inside of him… Wait, no. There was one more thing. “Alpha.. please… let me.. let me kneel for you.. please..” He whimpered softly. And shit, he heard the deep, possessive growl. Daryl pulled away and he met those crimson red eyes. His own eyes must be bleeding gold for his alpha, completely gold for the alpha he fell for. Daryl nodded simply as he pulled his fingers out. He didn’t know how fast he had to lower himself on hands and knees, spreading his legs for the alpha to see. 

He could hear the rustling of clothing, clothing leaving his Alpha’s body while he waited there for his alpha. He heard the loud breathing of the alpha, obviously pleased with the sight he was offered. “Please…” he whimpered helplessly to the alpha. “Please, alpha, please.” He felt a soft kiss against his spine, which made him groan in frustration, that was not what he asked for. “Ssh.. Don’t worry. Gonna knot ya in a sec. Gonna fill ya up, gonna be sure that ya end up pregnant with my pup, Rick.” Daryl said against his spine, which made him whimper with _need_ because he needed it all. 

Daryl positioned himself behind him, grabbing his hips firmly with one hand to keep him still, while he probably used the other hand to hold onto his cock to guide it into him. He felt the head of the alpha’s cock breach his rim of muscles, which went quite easily, before sliding in a bit more and placing his other hand on his hips as well. A moan left his mouth as the alpha slid further into him, all the way in until he was fully sheathed inside of him. 

Almost automatically his muscles clenched up, making it as tight as possible for the alpha to fuck him. And Daryl did, relentlessly, wild, uncontrolled. Thrusting into him like he was going to die if he wouldn’t. And he could only moan for his alpha and push his hips back and forth as the alpha fucked into him. Daryl’s hands went from his hips to next to his own arms, with Daryl leaning over him as he kept fucking him like wild animals. 

And Daryl thrusted relentlessly against his prostate, making him a mess which was something between whimpering and moaning. He knew Daryl was talking to him, he could hear words coming from the alpha’s mouth, but shit, he couldn’t even hear them. “Please.. Please, Alpha please.” He begged with a loud whimper, showing his nape in full submission. He couldn’t go into any more submission than this, this was the lowest of the lowest. “Please, Alpha, need your knot… need it now, _please_ ” he begged loudly, not caring who would hear him begging like that. Right now the only thing on his mind was let the alpha knot him and breed him up. To get pregnant with the alpha’s pup, to give his alpha an alpha. 

The thrust became more irregular and it was as if his body exactly knew what was going to happen. His body relaxed a bit more and he was pretty sure the ‘yes’s he heard were coming from him. Daryl’s teeth sunk into his skin on his shoulder, biting down on him until his skin broke and blood came flowing to the surface. He stilled immediately and fuck, he felt Daryl’s knot grow. 

He didn’t even know when he had come, but he had. He noticed it just now as a pool of come was underneath him. He panted loudly, feeling how Daryl’s come started to flow his insides. All he could do was smile, leaning back his head where Daryl was. Daryl’s canine’s left his skin and lapped at the blood, before he wrapped his strong arms around him and gently nudged him onto his side. His back firmly pressed against the alpha’s chest, he started to make happy, content purrs as his alpha was still coming inside of him. 

“I love you.” He mumbled softly as he regained his breath and pressed his back more against the alpha’s chest. He could feel the alpha smile against his nape, gently nuzzling it. 

“I love ya too, Rick.” 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter! A bit of a filler tbh, in my opinion, but some cute after-heat fluff and Carl!
> 
> Hope you guys will enjoy the new chapter none the less!   
> Love you guys xx

His heat had lasted three full days. That had meant three days of breeding, three days of possible conceiving and three days spent with his Alpha. He’d woken up purring, Daryl’s tongue softly moving over his nape. Though no mating bite had been placed, it was still a pretty possessive move, an alpha staking his claim. His nape was completely free of bites, though his shoulders had been completely marked by the alpha. He could feel arms tightening around his waist, pulling him even closer to the alpha’s body and he let out a content purr, letting the alpha know that he was fine and felt good. 

“Mornin’,” was the first real word that came out of Daryl’s mouth. He smiled and stroked over Daryl’s arm. He’d never felt this gorgeous bliss, even though he went through his last heat with Daryl as well. Just not the same way. “Goodmornin’.” He mumbled back, slowly turning around and wincing when he felt his hips hurting. Daryl nuzzled his cheek gently, a bit of redness still in the stormy blue eyes, but most of his eyes had turned blue again. “Hurtin’?” Daryl asked softly, to which he shrugged. He wasn’t really hurting, he felt this bliss, he felt happy, satisfied and loved. No pain could ever beat that. “I’m fine, probably goin’ to be weak in my hips for a couple of days.” He said with a laugh. The alpha rumbled pleased at those words, knowing that it would be because of him that he wouldn’t be able to walk straight for a couple of days. 

Daryl placed a soft kiss against his forehead, holding him close to him. “So perfect fer me.” Daryl mumbled against his head, to which he rubbed his cheek against Daryl’s cheek. “I love you.” He whispered softly, to which Daryl seemed to lighten up completely. He met the stormy blue eyes and all he could do was smile at the man. “Love ya too. Want some food, though? Cuz I’ll get some.” Even though he didn’t want Daryl to leave him alone in the bed, he nodded. Because shit he was pretty damn hungry. The warm arms around him left and he let out a soft whine in response, wrapping the blankets tightly around his body. 

As soon as Daryl left the room, Carl stormed in, hugging him closely. “hi there,” He said a bit confused, because the last time he didn’t respond like that when he came out of his heat. He’d been pretty calm actually. “What’s wrong?” He asked concerned to his little boy, holding him close to his body as he buried his nose into the brown hairs. He definitely got his mom’s hair, straight and brown. He had brown hair as well, but Carl definitely didn’t have the curls he obviously had as soon as his hair grew. Lori never really liked the curls and being at the force meant cutting his hair, but in this new world they never really got around for cutting someone’s hair. Well, he knew Glenn, Maggie and Carol tried to keep their hair pretty short, but his hair wasn’t long right now. Unlike Beth’s hair and how Lori’s hair had been before she died. 

“I miss mom..” He swallowed thickly at those words. He could never imagine how it must be for Carl. Not only did he lose his mom, but he had to shoot her to make sure she wouldn’t turn. And that must have been so frightening for his little boy. It had been just like he told him at the farm. No more kid stuff. “I miss her too.” He said softly, rubbing circles down his lower back trying to get the boy to relax. Carl had probably needed him during the last few days... when he had been busy with Daryl because of his heat... He groaned internally, not wanting his pup to hear how frustrated he was with himself and his nature. If only he were a beta, he wouldn’t have these things. 

“We just have to make her proud, all right?” he softly said to him, nuzzling his pups cheek. “And we’re goin’ to make her proud. We’re goin’ to survive.” He softly said to him. He would die to save his pup, over and over again. Hell, he would even die for Judith, even though he wasn’t her real father. He knew that. She was still his child. DNA didn’t always made up a family. All these people in the prison were their family. And none were genetically bound to them. 

He saw Daryl standing in the door opening, hesitantly. He nodded, giving the man his approval of coming inside. Daryl took slow steps, before he sat down on the bed and looked at Rick with confusion. “’s goin’ to be okay, all right?” He softly said against the hairs of his son, who slowly nodded and placed his nose in the crook of his neck. “You still smell like Daryl.” He felt a blush creeping up on him and huffed an uncomfortable laugh. “Well, that’s normal right now.” Daryl told them with a soft and gentle smile on his face. “Listen, kid, ‘m not ‘ere to replace yer mom. ‘m ‘ere ‘cus ‘m in love with yer dad. But know that when ya wanna talk ‘bout somethin’ ya can’t talk ‘bout with yer dad, ya can come talk to me, ‘kay?” Rick smiled warmly at Daryl letting out a soft purr. 

Carl looked up and slowly nodded, leaving Rick’s safe arms. One day he had to give Carl the alpha talk, but maybe.. if things would be going well.. Maybe Daryl could do that. Explain it, because if Carl had alpha-related questions he wouldn’t know what to do with them, unlike Daryl who was an alpha himself and knew how to deal with his alpha. Daryl patted the boy on his shoulder, still trying to get at least a bit of physical contact. Though his other arm sneaked around his waist, pulling him a bit towards him which made him huff a laugh. His hand on his lower abdomen, which made him shiver a bit. “Want to eat somethin’?” He decided to say to Carl, looking at a full plate of food Daryl brought in to them. Way too much for him alone, so sharing with his family was the best thing to do in his eyes. And he felt happy, the only person missing between them was little Judith, but as soon as he finished his food he would go look for her and cuddle her. Place her between him and Daryl, safely. 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is that a new update??   
> Yes it is!  
> Hopefully you'll get at least one more update before I go to France, since I don't know if I have wifi there, if I have time to write or if the wifi there is so shit I can't upload for shit x'D   
> But here is another update!!  
> And did I see a certain word pop up in the chapter? ;)  
> Hope y'all enjoy! <3  
> Certainly leave comments to let me know where you think this will lead to!! :D

It didn’t take him long to notice something was changing with his body. The way it urged to make a nest or how he would lean into Daryl’s touches more and more. The way he started getting tired earlier and how it was harder for him to keep up with all of the physical tasks. It didn’t take him long to figure out what was wrong, because if you followed all the events, it was pretty easy to track. 

Pregnant. 

He was almost absolutely sure, but just to be sure, he asked Maggie and Glenn to look out for a special pregnancy test. One for omegas. Though, he would be happy with any kind of pregnancy test, the omega one would give him the most chance of getting to know the truth. They had to go out on a run anyway, as Jude’s supplies were running low and they really, really had to find some formula for her. 

He was getting kind of antsy about it, because fuck, what if he was pregnant? What if it turned out to be positive? Fuck, even though he told Daryl he wouldn’t mind, he didn’t think.. With his age and the way he supressed everything.. Fuck, he thought he wouldn’t be pregnant on the first damn try. And maybe it was just him being… him. Maybe he was getting worried sick about nothing, because it could be nothing. False pregnancies were also a thing after a heat, the body thinking it conceived and giving all the signs, without the actual pup in there. 

He had to hope for the best, because shit. They already had trouble to take care of one baby, two would be a hell and he knew it. One of them wouldn’t survive and choices would have to be made and- shit. He didn’t want this. He didn’t want to choose on over the other. He couldn’t let Jude die, he couldn’t let this pup die. Stupid. That’s what he was, he was an idiot for thinking spending his heat with Daryl would make things all okay. It gave more trouble. 

He took a shaky breath, before he suddenly felt arms around him. “Wha’s wron’?” Almost like Daryl felt his distress at his thoughts. He let his back fall against Daryl’s chest, easing into the touch and sighed. “It’s nothin’, don’t worry.” He said with a soft smile, there was no use in getting Daryl all riled up for a pup that might not be in there, which Daryl would obviously like if he were indeed pregnant, but if he ended up to not be pregnant it would break Daryl’s hope. He didn’t want to do that. “Ya sure?” Were the soft words Daryl asked him, gently stroking his belly. He knew Daryl couldn’t know yet, it was a gesture out of hope, out of love, stroking the softest and tender skin. 

“Mhm, just a bit tired.” He mumbled softly, which wasn’t a complete lie, because he was knackered. Just the reason behind it would be different. “Want me to take yer watch tonight?” Daryl softly asked him, placing a short kiss against his neck, that made him weak to the bone. He closed his eyes, leaning more against the alpha, who had him tightly in his arms. Safe, but for how long? How long until his body would betray him? 

“Nah, I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” He said with a soft smile, even though he could feel himself being drifted away by the body heat of Daryl against his own body, with those strong arms around him. Protecting him from everyone- but himself. “You have the one after me anyway, wouldn’t do much good for you.” He continued with a soft smile on his face. Daryl grunted as response, which could either mean he acknowledged it and saw that he was right, or the fact that he wasn’t pleased with his answer but has to accept it either way. 

“Anyway, Maggie ‘nd Glenn were makin’ funny faces lookin’ atcha before they left. What’s goin’ on with them?” Oh boy. Of course he knew why they were making funny faces at him, because he could be pregnant and they were the first to know. It was kind of obvious when he asked for a pregnancy test, you know. “Don’t know. Ask them when they get back?” He said, trying to hide the fact that he knew why. Daryl accepted his reason with a ‘hmm’, so he must’ve saved himself. Daryl gently ran his nose against his neck, making him shiver a bit as he presented his neck a bit more. Daryl let out a pleased rumble as he could get the perfect angle to scent his boyfriend. 

“Shouldn’t you be huntin’ or somethin’?” He said with a soft laugh. Daryl slowly pulled away, made sure he would stay steady on his feet first, and rolled his eyes. “Sorry sheriff. Whatchu gonna do, punish me?” There was that slight simmer in Daryl’s eyes, lighten up by playful jokes. He rolled his eyes and gently, playfully pushed him. “Yeah, sex is definitely off the table.” He said with a smile on his face, looking at the dramatical hurt face Daryl made. “Auwtch, hurts sheriff.” Even though they would probably end up having sex. Again. He swore his hips was going to give out one of these days. 

He just wanted to say something to Daryl, when there was some shouting, towards the gate. Immediately he turned his head, looking into the direction. At the fence there was a woman standing, dreadlocks, dark skinned and she was hurt, wounded. She was between the walkers with.. fuck was that a basket? He didn’t know how fast he had to run to the gate, especially when she fell down. He was not letting her get eaten by the walkers. And what was the basket for anyway? “Open the gate!” he yelled towards Carl, who was already standing near the gate. Beth rushed in to help, while Daryl got his crossbow ready and he himself grabbed his axe to go into action, hopefully before the walkers got to her.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! :(   
> But hereby I present you chapter 26!  
> I had a bit of a block with writing in general, I'm sorry :c   
> Anyway, leave your thoughts in the comments and I hope you'll enjoy it <3

The name of the woman was Michonne. The basket was filled with everything they needed, the powder to make milk for little Judith, some more baby things. And he grabbed the pregnancy test for omega’s immediately to put away under his jeans before anyone saw. This wasn’t his biggest concern because, shit, Maggie and Glenn had been captured. By no other person than someone called Merle. As soon as Daryl had heard that name he rose up to his feet, asking questions and it seemed that this Merle was indeed, Merle Dixon. 

So they went on and started to rescue Maggie and Glenn. Daryl wanted to go off immediately to find his big brother, which was understandable, but he needed Daryl to be with him during the attack. Together with Michonne, Axel and Oscar. In and out, as quick as they could. No jokes, just be quick. 

Oscar had died on the way back, shot. Michonne had run off to god knows where. Glenn was completely beaten up and Maggie seemed fine by the looks of it, but she was emitting so much distress into the air that he knew something must’ve happened, but his mind was not busy with that at all. Daryl was gone.

So once again they returned to get Daryl back, because no way in hell that he was going to leave Daryl with that fucked up guy who calls himself the governor. When they got Daryl back, they not only got Daryl back. But Merle as well. To the distress of Maggie and Glenn. Because apparently Merle had let a walker into Glenn’s room after he got beaten up, his hands still tied to a chair. It reminded him how strong Glenn was. 

Not only that, a discussion started to form about what they were going to do. Take Merle with them, which was what Daryl wanted because he was his brother, or to leave him on his own, what the rest wanted. He didn’t want to be in this position. Daryl looked at him with such high hopes, like he could make everyone want to take Merle with them. He swallowed thickly, looking away and knowing it would look like a defeat. 

Even if Daryl was his boyfriend and he should support him, being his alpha and everything, he couldn’t. Because he was the leader. He had to think like the leader and not like Daryl’s boyfriend. Merle was loud, aggressive, _hurt_ Glenn. _Hurt_ Michonne, even though he didn’t really know her yet. He hurt people, that’s why he had to cuff him to a roof in the first damn place. Would he trust this man around Carl? Around Judith? 

He hated to make calls like this. Especially because of Daryl’s words that he threw in. He knew it was hard, to lose his brother. His own mind drifted towards his own brother, who was in Spain when the dead started walking… Who knew if he was still alive? Shane, the brother he had to kill for his family. A kill made to save everyone. He sighed softly, shaking his head. They couldn’t take Merle with them. 

So instead, Daryl said he was going to leave with him. They were a package deal, together or none of them. For a moment he wanted to laugh, that must a damn joke right? But the tone of Daryl’s voice had been serious, which had him scared to the core. Daryl would leave if they left Merle. But even then he knew he couldn’t let his relationship with Daryl influence on the choices that he made. Merle wasn’t safe. Merle was dangerous at times. And he didn’t want that in the group. 

So Daryl started to walk to the car, opened up the trunk and started to pack his things. He could feel his eyes burning, this time knowing it was tears that were starting to build up in his eyes. “Daryl.. please. We can work this out.” He softly said to him, his eyes pleading the man to stay. He had to stay, fuck. “Please.” He said, almost whimpering. But Daryl kept packing, looking at him and telling him all kinds of things that he didn’t even register. Something about taking care of lil’ asskicker and Carl. 

And when he got all his things, he got up and left, Merle wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Daryl looking back just once, right into his blue eyes. As if he was saying this is your last chance. And when Daryl was out of sight he took a deep breath, trying to wipe away the tears that had build up in his eyes. Daryl left. Daryl left him. _Daryl left him._ He took a deep breath before he looked at the small group they had, nodding and walking towards the car to step into it. He had to keep the pack safe, the prison was safe, the prison was good. 

The car ride was completely silent, no-one talking about the loss of Daryl, but he could see the sympathetic glances in the mirror of the car. The gate had opened up immediately when they arrived. Hershel hugging Maggie and Glenn, Carol shooting him scared, glances. Big eyes as if questioning if Daryl was dead. _Daryl._

Carl had rushed towards him and wrapped his arms tightly around him. The only thing he could do was wrap his arms back around his son, holding him tightly as he buried his face in the long hair of the kid, trying to not let the tears fall into his hair. Daryl left. His alpha left. And he might be pregnant. He took a deep breath and slowly let go of Carl, giving him a soft smile before walking in, without even saying anything. 

He grabbed the box, with the huge letters on it that said ‘PREGNANCY TEST’, before going somewhere secluded. He followed the instructions, step by step. Until it had to be put down for ten minutes. Which was insane, because he didn’t exactly have a timer which could time ten damn minutes to know if he was pregnant. The only thing he could hope for was that it turned out to be negative. He couldn’t handle it, not now. Not with Daryl gone. They could’ve worked something out. They could’ve find something that everyone liked, like a house nearby for Merle. He couldn’t make the decision on his own, not with this much emotion involved. _He should’ve backed up his mate_. He felt tears coming out of the corners of his eyes, finally, clutching onto his knees. This just wasn’t fair. It wasn’t. He didn’t want to do this anymore. He had to make decisions that not everyone liked. But Daryl’s loss, was a big loss. Daryl hunted for the group. Worked his ass off until he almost fell down, always looked out for everyone… 

As he looked down onto the test, a big fat plus had appeared on the strip. _Fuck._

Positive for pregnancy.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've started college sadly, so I won't know how regular I will post chapters because I really need to study :")   
> And the fact it really costs me so much energy to write it's just insane

Daryl wasn’t returning and that was hard to live with. He hadn’t told anyone yet about the news, the news that he was expecting a pup, maybe even multiple pups, because it didn’t feel right for him now. Because it was weird and he wasn’t sure what to do. And he just yearned for his alpha to be here. His omega needed his alpha, needed the comfort of the alpha. And not just his omega yearned for the alpha, his mind, he himself yearned for Daryl to come back to him, safe and sound. 

First he had been.. sad. He was sad and broken down that Daryl had left him over his brother two days ago, which basically meant they had broken up. They were family, the whole group of them together and he chose Merle over them. And that’s where the anger came in from his part. Because he had left not only him alone, but his family as well. And maybe that hurt even more. The fact that their pup would never see Daryl, even though Daryl would’ve been such a great father. He was already so good with Judith and Carl… 

Carl was just as heartbroken as he was when Daryl had left, because they had bonded with each other, explained their relationship to Carl, fuck. He closed his eyes for a second and sighed. And even though he thought all of this, here he was, standing outside the gates, walking back and forth in the hope that he would catch a glimpse of Daryl in the woods, like he came back from a hunting trip or anything like that. His hand unconsciously moved to his stomach, placing it on it and slowly running his fingers over his lower abdomen. 

It wasn’t safe out here and even though he knew that, here he was, wondering how this had all turned out to be so wrong. He should’ve backed up his alpha, was a thing his omega side told him, loads of times. Because if he did, Daryl wouldn’t have been gone. But on the other hand, this clearly described how deep their relationship was in some way. That even with all they’d been through, choosing his brother over them -him- was the first priority. He would always be second to him, because of Merle.

He opened his eyes, seeing Hershel getting close to the fence towards him, which made him come closer to the fence. The old man had worry in his eyes and he knew why, because he was their leader but he just couldn’t get himself together. He had already lost it when he lost Lori.. And now he had lost Daryl. “Before you say anythin’” he softly said to the man, not seeing any reason to hide his intentions right now, because it would explain his behaviour to the man and he knew that. 

“I’m carrying Daryl’s pup.” He said, looking down at his shoes, the grass and the dried blood from whatever walker had been here before. “I already thought so, son.” Hershel told him softly. “But it’s important that you come inside, Rick. We need you.” He looked at the older, wiser man, but even though he was right, he couldn’t help and shook his head. “I can’t. You know I can’t.” 

And suddenly it all went very fast, again. A white van smashed the front gates, leaving them confused and waiting for what was going to happen. The truck opened and loads of walkers came out of it, before people starting shooting. He too, started to get shot at and he didn’t know how fast he should duck to the ground before shooting back. 

As far as he knew no-one from their side got hurt and the people who did this left, who couldn’t have been anyone else than the Governer who they had attacked twice to get their people, including Merle who came with Daryl, back. But the shooting attracted walkers, a lot of them. And he was outside the gates, on his own. He shot a few, but soon he realised he had no bullets left, leaving him with no other choice than literally smash them with his gun to the head and hoping that they would die. 

But when two walkers came to him at once he had to grab them by their old clothing, pushing them away as hard and much as he could. This was probably how his life was going to end, munched on by two walkers with more approaching him. And nothing that he could do. So he just did the first thing that came to mind, like an auto pilot running his brain. ”Daryl!” he shouted, only to be surprised when an arrow stopped just before him, which led to the walker slumping down and Merle rushing to him with a shout. 

The three of them dispatched of the walkers quickly and when all of them seemed to be gone, his mind still running on the automatic pilot, he dropped everything and rushed over to Daryl, who dropped his crossbow as well, and almost jumped into his arms. Daryl wrapped his arms around him closely, burying his head against his shoulder and take a deep breath. “Are ya okay?” He could hear him say worriedly, to which he nodded and slowly let go of the man, before letting go of a soft whine and placing his head in the crook of Daryl’s neck. 

“Are you?” He asked with the same worry in his voice to Daryl, gently stroking over his back. His alpha had returned. His alpha had returned and it made his body all fuzzy and _needy_. He needed his alpha to touch him like never before, he needed for his alpha to hold him close and tell him it would al be alright. No-one had died today, luckily. They had so much luck. “C’mon ya pansy asses! Dun wanna spend more time out ‘ere than we need to!” He let go of the man to look at Merle. And even though he knew the man was right, he didn’t feel like moving away from the alpha he finally got back in his arms. He looked at the man and sighed, but nodded. He walked away from Daryl, because no matter how they looked at it, they had to retrieve their things, before they would walk back to their home. 


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some sexy time ahead for our boys <3 
> 
> and a question for everyone reading this...  
> Do you want more drama... or not? Because I have two things in my mind that could happen :"D

Carol, Carl and Beth crashed onto Daryl as soon as they entered the safe prison, hugging him tightly. He couldn’t help but smile softly, looking at his packmates who seemed so happy. Merle was inside, but not near the cells. They locked him outside of that, because he was not their pack. Daryl seemed already happy enough that his brother was safe within the gates of their prison. The governor was a freak, that was something they all agreed on and Merle seemed so sure that he was going to come back with something even more. 

But all of those thoughts about the governor were forgotten when Daryl pushed him against the wall to kiss all the worries out of him. It was just him, him and Daryl. Alpha and omega. Desperately clinging onto each other. When Daryl pulled away from him he let out a soft whine, a needy whine. Daryl responded with a soft rumble of his own, a reassuring one. “ssh, ‘s okay darlin’” Daryl told him with a rumble, gently stroking his sides. “Yer so gorgeous fer me.” Daryl mumbled, before placing a couple of kisses on his neck, which he immediately showed more to the man. 

Daryl nuzzled his neck for a second, before he looked up and their lips met again, this time giving each other sloppy, heated kisses. Their tongues feverishly brushing against each other, while pawing at the other persons clothing trying to bare themselves as quickly as they could possibly manage to do. He didn’t want to think about the fact that they had been apart from each other and the fact that Daryl had left him. He didn’t want to think about the fact that he was pregnant with Daryl’s pup right now. 

So he just didn’t think about any of that, he just focussed on the touches and Daryl’s movements. And it wasn’t long before he was completely absorbed in it, together with the fact that they were both naked by the time he didn’t think about anything else than the moment right there and then, just him and his lover. Because that was how it was supposed to be, just him and his Daryl, together. 

Daryl left his mouth, which made him whine softly, but soon his mouth was back, but this time on his chest. Placing open kisses all over his chest, like he was the sweetest thing Daryl had ever tasted in his complete life. He let his head fall back and moaned softly when Daryl teased one of his nipples. Those were always sensitive for an omega, but now that his body was making changes because he was pregnant they were even more sensitive. Before it was more like ticklish, but right now it was just full on sensitive. And he kind of liked that. 

Daryl smirked against his chest, seeming pleasantly pleased with the fact that he felt good underneath his hands and mouth. “Daryl, please..” he softly moaned, looking at his alpha beggingly. The fact that they had been apart for so long was already too much, he’d rather sped things up a bit, he needed Daryl inside of him. The sooner the better. Foreplay had to be saved for another time. Because right now he needed him, so bad. He almost felt like he was in heat again, it felt that urgent to get the alpha inside of him. 

Daryl rumbled, placing a gentle bite on his hip. “Sssh, I’ll get to it darlin’, gotta spread you out fer me.” Daryl said with a predatory look and a lick of his lips. He couldn’t help but blush, but to give the man some space he spread out his legs, before grabbing a pillow and put it underneath his hips so they were slightly risen for his lover. Daryl’s nostrils flared positively and he licked his lips again, but this time slowly, taking his time. 

“Please,” he softly whined to Daryl, spreading his legs a bit more in the hope it would get Daryl’s hand starting. Because he didn’t want to wait any more than necessary. Daryl smiled and gently kissed his lips, loving, softly. Everything he’d ever wanted in his whole life. And then Daryl’s hand moved towards his hip, gently caressing his ass cheek which made him release a whine. A whine which said closer. And then Daryl’s finger entered his slick hole, which made him throw back his head as he closed his eyes in pleasure. 

Even now it felt like he went in a damn heat again, even though that wasn’t possible, but he was sensitive and tight for his alpha. Daryl started to move his finger in and out, trying to relax him more, sometimes curling his finger to tug at his rim which made him writhe underneath him and clench down as if he was clenching down on Daryl’s knot. 

One finger became two fingers, twisting, turning, scissoring him and finding his prostate like Daryl had been doing this to him for years and knew his whole body. “Daryl-“ he moaned with a whine, he needed more. He needed him. He needed everything and fuck Daryl could give him everything. And suddenly there was an emptiness within him. “No, Daryl, please.” He whimpered, grabbing his wrist which was positioned next to him. As if the other was going to leave him. _again_

But Daryl nuzzled his face, letting him know that he wasn’t going to leave him anytime soon. “ssh, ‘m right ‘ere.” The words _don’t leave me_ where stuck in his throat. Knowing that when he would say that, that it would all crumble down. And he didn’t want that, he wanted this moment. He felt the blunt head of Daryl’s cock against his puckered hole, ready and slick for his lover. Daryl gently caressed his side, before slowly, agonizing slowly, pushing himself into his lover. 

And he couldn’t help but look how the cock of his lover slid into him, even if he couldn’t see it that well because of his position beneath Daryl. “Fuck…” he moaned lowly, throwing his head back for a second before looking back. Daryl was inside him. And he felt whole. Daryl leaned forward to steal a kiss from his lips. He never wanted to stop kissing him, he never wanted to stop fucking and get back to reality. Fuck, he just wanted him to keep on fucking him. 

Daryl was completely seated inside of him, where he _belonged_ , his mind provided for him. Daryl was supposed to be inside of him like this. And he could never, and he really meant never, imagine someone else fucking him. It felt wrong and it made him nauseous. He just needed, absolutely _needed_ Daryl. No-one else. He wanted his _mate_. Even if they weren’t mates. He wiggled his ass a bit, trying to get some friction for Daryl to move inside of him, fuck his brains out like they had done before. 

So Daryl did exactly that. With what started as slow thrusts which made Rick more writhing and wanting, scratching Daryl’s back as to mark his mate, his and only his, and trying to get him to fuck him harder, ended with hard skin-to-skin thrusts. Almost completely pulled out, only to slam all the way back in. And all of that in a rapid, hard pace. And while Daryl was fucking him so roughly, either breathy-lip-hovering kisses were given, or Daryl would suck on his neck, ravishing it completely and marking him up for everyone to see. To let everyone know what they had done together. 

And then Daryl slid out, suddenly, unexpected. And he let out a loud whine with a slight panic. No, no, no. Don’t leave again. Don’t. and without noticing he said all of that out loud, with soon Daryl’s hands back on his body. “’m not leavin’… turn ‘round. Wanna mount ya. Wanna breed ya.” And that was somethin’ he didn’t need to be told twice. He immediately turned around, hands and knees, lowering his elbows to brace himself for his mate’s weight. Knees up high, for the perfect mounting position. 

Daryl slammed right back in. Rick knew he was getting close, so was he. How could he not with this mind blowing good sex. Daryl nuzzled his nape, before gently letting his teeth explore his nape without even biting it. He exposed it more for his alpha, rocking back to meet his thrusts. “Fuck, bite me. Please, oh please. Daryl- god _damn_.” he moaned, clenching up around his alpha’s cock. 

“ _Fuck_ , yeah, tell me more.” Daryl gruffed out, his voice laced with sex, pure sex. And he loved that voice so damn much. “Fuck, Daryl- oh god. I want you to come in me. Fuck, I want to bear you pups. I want to- oh fuck. Wanna be your mate. Please. _God_.” He moaned, leaning his face against his arm. He could hear Daryl growling on top of him, his teeth at his nape and teasing it with soft bites. 

And then Daryl slowed down, trembling and it was engraved in his mind what was bound to happen. Daryl slammed back in for a last time, trembling, but as deep as he could, before he knot started to grow completely, locking them together while Daryl bit down -hard- on his shoulder, drawing blood from him. He could feel when Daryl started to come inside of him.. and the only thing he felt was pure satisfaction. He didn’t even notice when he had his own orgasm, but he had. Daryl gently coaxed him flat on his belly, before the alpha started to purr on top of him and started to lick the bite wound he had made on his shoulder. 

He smiled softly, starting to purr as well as Daryl caressed his sides and started to nuzzle his nape and the base of his hair. “I love ya, missed ya.” Daryl mumbled against his skin. He felt like coming home after a long day of work, like every little thing that seemed to matter had disappeared. “I love you too.” He softly mumbled, feeling heavy from sleep and the satisfaction. 

It wasn’t long before both of them where spooning, still locked together from the knot, and before his purrs started to fade into deep breaths, indicating he fell asleep. But, he still couldn’t get the damn smile off his face. 


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writers block hit me hard once again :") And idk. I had this chapter planned since the beginning of this story but like dsfjg I couldn't get it the way I wanted it to be so it's not as good as I thought it would be I'm sorry ;^; I suck at writing fights lol. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope the writers block is going away and that you guys can still enjoy this chapter uwu

The first thing he noticed as soon as he woke up were the strong, muscled arms around him. Warmth. Safe. _Home_. He sighed in content, happy with the warm arms around him, the feeling that he was safe within the arms of the man he loved. But every minute that he spend laying in bed, the more the last couple of days gnawed at him like a walker looking at a human. Because Daryl might be here for now, but when would he choose another person over him again? He swallowed thickly. Don’t think about that now. Daryl was here. Alive. Breathing. That was everything he needed. 

“’m sorry I left.” And those were exactly the words he didn’t want to hear right now. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. “So you’re sorry now, huh?” he mumbled through his gritted teeth. He could immediately feel the movement of Daryl moving slightly away from him. “Wha’s that supposed to mean?” Daryl asked him with a slight frown. He looked right into Daryl’s eyes, because he knew Daryl could read a lot from his eyes and he deserved to know what he was thinking right now. “You know what I mean, Daryl.” He said to him, his gaze not even wavering. 

“I had no other choice, ya weren’t givin’ me one.” Daryl said back to him, propping himself up on his arm, but never, ever breaking their eye contact. “We could’ve thought of something, give him a house nearby or something.” He said while he pushed his eyebrows a bit together. They could’ve figured it out, he was sure of that. He didn’t even have to think about that. Because somehow, they could’ve made it work. Daryl stepped out of the bunk bed and rose to his feet “It’s my brother! Ya can’t expect me to leave him in the middle of damn nowhere!” His brother.. yeah that was a touchy subject. 

“Only because he’s sharing the same blood?” He spit out to him, standing up as well to face him. “He’s family Rick, damn it!” Daryl almost growled, raising his arms. As if he wanted to say that he had the only option and he took it. “We’re your family! You left us!” He said while his voice when slightly harder. He didn’t want people to wake up because of him, but it almost seemed that he had to damn scream to let Daryl get his point. “Ya wouldn’t understand anyway.” Daryl said with a narrowing of his eyes, as if he was intimidating him. But no, he had seen more of that. He wouldn’t be the damn leader if this would affect him. 

“You left Carl. He was _hurt_ Daryl! Damn it!” He said with urgency in his voice. “I had to do what was best for the pack! And that was not bringin’ Merle back!” He said with a slight hiss in his voice. Daryl just let out a soft growl, definitely not happy with his decision. “Ya were supposed to back me up there!” Daryl said annoyed, his eyes back on his eyes, looking right into them. “I’m not going to back you up just because we were together! I’m the damn leader Daryl, I’ve got to do what’s right!” He said with a low, warning growl. 

“Family and blood are nothing alike anymore and you know that! We are your family Daryl!” He said, trying to get it into his stubborn head. “He’s blood. And blood will always, always be first.” Daryl spit out to him. He clenched his jaw and took a deep breath. “So you would leave me over and over again for Merle?” He asked, directly. “You would leave me, Carl, Judith, Carol, Hershel, Beth and Glenn over and over again?!” He asked with a raised voice, this must be a damn joke right? “I came back didn’t I? Stop fussin’! I came back!” 

“But what if you didn’t?! You left us already without even damn blinkin’!” He said with an accusing tone to the man, who was obviously not happy with the way he spoke to him. “But I _did_ , Rick. Jesus.” Daryl growled to him. “You left. You left with the thought to leave forever. Leave me forever. Me and your unborn fuckin’ pup!” He didn’t even realize it until he spoke the words that this would be the way that Daryl knew he was carrying his pup. No sweet kisses, no happy announcement. No because why the fuck would that happen in a fucked up world like this one? There were no happy endings, not for them. 

Daryl was silent for a bit, looking at him in shock, completely still, completely frozen in time. He clenched his jaw a bit more and looked away with a sigh. “You’re… You’re pregnant?” It sounded so cautious, as if Daryl was trying not to provoke him. “Yeah, I am you asshole.” He growled. “Did you.. When did you.. Fuck, when did you know it?” He rolled his eyes and left his gaze on the floor, where it belonged. His eyes must’ve been full of anger, even now. 

“I didn’t know for sure since ya god damn left. Maggie and Glenn were givin’ you weird looks because I asked them for a damn pregnancy test. And then they were kidnapped, so there’s that.” He said with a slight shrug. “Fuck… Rick.. If I’d known..” Daryl said with a sigh, but that only made him look up with fire in his eyes. If looks could kill, Daryl would be dead right now. “Then what? You would’ve stayed?” He hissed to the alpha. Daryl swallowed and slowly nodded. “Of course, Rick. If I’d known I would’ve staye-“ “Fuck you!” He said through gritted teeth. He started to gather his clothes, putting them on as quick as he could. “With your fucking blood related things. Fuck you. Fuck this.” He said while he didn’t know how fast he had to get out of there. “You don’t care about me, or Carl, or Judith. You only care about yourself. Fuck you Daryl. Really, just fuck you.” He said with a last look, before he left his cell as quickly as he could. 

He ignored the looks he got from people downstairs, ignored the soft ‘Rick’ that he had heard just before he left the room, he just went straight outside. And as soon as he redeemed himself as alone, he let the tears fall, a hand resting on his lower abdomen as he let himself fall onto his ass. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” He softly sobbed to the unborn child inside of him. 


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! 
> 
> Here's a new chapter for We lost it all. I have a new applicator on my chrome, which tests the grammar of the things I write, so you might notice that the grammar will become better! :D Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy this new chapter when I have the time I will use this applicator to check the previous chapters as well to fish out any mistakes! :D
> 
> See you all soon with a new chapter! 
> 
> xx

Not have any interactions with Daryl while he was right there was just hard, he never thought something like that would be so hard to refrain himself from. He was pretty sure that at that moment that they had fought, everything they had to build was completely crushed. Their relationship was over, even if he had thought that they had a chance together. Carl loved him, Judith loved him, he had loved him... He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. How was he going to explain this to Carl? Daryl was back but they weren’t getting back together. 

And then the pup… growing inside of him right now. What the hell were they going to do about that? He wasn’t going to give the pup up just because they broke up. But he couldn’t say that Daryl wasn’t allowed to see his own damn pup. They had to figure this shit out before it was too late. Before the pup would be born already and they had no plan whatsoever. 

But he really, really, didn’t want to talk to Daryl, on the other hand, he did, but he just wanted some damn rest. Why did they have to fuck this up? If they’d stayed friends nothing would’ve happened, he’d be hurt that he left, yes, but it would’ve been different. He wouldn’t have become someone Carl bonded to that close, he wouldn’t have knocked him up with a pup and they could’ve picked it up from the moment he left. No fights, no nothing. It would’ve been just them, just like before.

But nope, that was not how it was meant to be. They had fallen in love with each other and now they had to deal with the aftermaths of that. Which was horrible, because he missed having his right-hand man, he really did. Daryl was his lover, his best friend, and his right-hand man. He was so many things to him and he lost every single one. He shouldn’t have gotten so mad, this just made things worse. Fuck, they had even slept together before the fight. Everything had seemed fine, but the opposite came true. 

He sighed deeply, placing a hand on his lower abdomen and slowly stroking it with his thumb. There was still the deal with the Governor, who was definitely going attack again according to Merle. There were so many things to deal with that... Jesus, he just needed some rest. For him and for the pup. Everyone knew too much stress could lead to abortion of the pup, even if the pup was completely healthy. 

“Rick?” He removed his hand from his nose to look at the young girl, Beth. He swallowed and took a deep breath. “Yeah?” He had to fall back onto his role as a leader right now. Not the broken person. “Are you okay?” She slowly sat down next to him and looked at him with her blue eyes. Beth, he had so much to thank her for. She was the one that pushed them together and even though it hadn’t worked out now, he was grateful for it. 

He shrugged and looked at her. “As good as I can be.” He said calmly to her, there was no use to lying to his pack mates anyway. That could only make things worse and that was the last thing he wanted right now. He was already in this mess. “He’s really sorry, you know that right?” Of course, he knew. But it was the whole point of trusting him again. And he didn’t know if he could, not yet anyway. He could trust him as a friend, but if he could ever trust him for more than that? 

“He _left_ me, pregnant, Beth. He left with the intention to leave us forever. How can I trust him not to do it again?” He said to her, soft, not knowing what else to say about it. Because it was that simple, he didn’t know if he could trust Daryl to stay with him. That’s all he wanted, he wanted him to stay with him. Nothing more, nothing less. “I know it’s family, but we’re a family too. And he hurt all of us.” He softly said, pinching the bridge of his nose again to take a shaky breath. “He hurt me.” He said as he closed his eyes. 

He could feel Beth’s arm around him, pulling him towards her. He shouldn’t put this burden on her, he knew that. She was so young and didn’t have to deal with all of this grown-up stuff in this fucked up world. “You have to talk to him about that Rick... He’s like a wounded puppy right now... It’s better for both of you if you talk it out.” And he knew he should, but he didn’t mean to start a fight from the start. But something was just triggered inside of him and he did it anyway. “I know.” He said with a deep sigh, gently rubbing his lower abdomen. “For the little one.” He said softly, looking down at his flat lower abdomen. 

“For the little one,” Beth said with a soft smile, meeting his eyes. He softly smiled too, even though it scared the crap out of him right now that he was pregnant, he couldn’t blame the pup. Not now, not ever. It was the fault of him and Daryl. Fuck, he didn’t even plan on this. Two pups to take care of and find the formula for… it was going to be a disaster. But they would make it, he was sure of that. He was sure they were all going to be fine. They would be able to manage it, he somehow. He would make it work. That was his promise to the little unborn pup growing inside of him. 


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof I managed to write another chapter :") 
> 
> Life is killing me, I had vacation this week with something to do every day of the week lol.  
> Anyway, hope I didn't let anyone down with this chapter lol. Bcs the last one seemed like a flop ahahah.

Even with the conversation he had with Beth, he couldn’t bring up to talk with Daryl until three days later. He supposed it was better to let them both cool off for a bit before they should talk again. Daryl tried to make eye contact multiple times through those days and he did indeed look like a wounded puppy. He had been outside of the gates a lot as well, he saw. Bringing back loads of food and supplies. He sighed and rubbed his forehead, he needed to speak with him, now. No more "I’ll do it tomorrow"'s, he was going to do it today. 

So when he saw Daryl standing at his bike, alone, he decided to grab his chance. The sweat made Daryl’s skin shine, accenting the strong muscles in his arms. The urge to touch them, to let them be wrapped around his body was tempting, but he left it. He shouldn’t. Because who knew when he would leave again. But they had to talk, they did. “Daryl.” He said cautiously, hoping to not scare the hunter. But how could he scare the hunter? He probably heard him coming from miles away. That’s what he had told him back at the farm anyway. 

“Rick.” It sounded surprised, cautious and relieved all at the same time. This was indeed the first time he actually talked to him in person again. “How are ya?” Daryl softly asked, probably because of the pregnancy. “’m fine.” He said calmly, before placing his hands on both of his sides and looking at Daryl. “We need to talk. A real talk. No shoutin’, just talkin’ and listenin’.” He said calmly to Daryl, who slowly nodded and took a deep breath. “Yeah, yeah.. of course. Le’s go to the inner place.” More privacy, but still in sight of everyone. 

Rick didn’t waste any time walking there, because the sooner this was over, the sooner they could go back to how they were before… before all of this. “Rick, ya gotta know that I… ‘m really sorry. Didn’t mean to be an asshole to ya. ‘s the last thin’ I wanted to do.” He swallowed and slowly nodded, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I understand if ya don’t want me around anymore. I completely understand, Rick. Jus’ tell me and I’ll go.” His eyes shot up and he frowned a bit. “I don’t want you to leave, Daryl.” He said calmly to him before he took a deep breath and shook his head. 

“But you did hurt me. Hurt Carl. Because you left, placing him above everyone else. Above me.” He confessed to the man. “I loved you. Still do,” Daryl seemed to perk up because of that, “I trusted you with my pup, with my heat, with my mind.” Daryl slowly licked his lips, of course, he did, such an alpha thing to do. “But you crushed it. You crushed my trust, my heart, everythin’.” He had to know what he had done to him, even though it meant showing weakness, leaving the tremble in his voice. “And yes, I’m still pregnant with your pup. And no, I’m not goin’ to be standin’ in the way of that.” He softly said to him. 

“It’s still your pup, so you can still be the dad of it if you want to. Can still be a dad to the pup, care for it with me.” He knew he was showing his vulnerable side to the alpha right now, but fuck. He couldn’t keep the pup away from the man, that would be torture. For both of them. They were a family, they cared for each other. Blood or not. “Of course, fuck, yes Rick,” Daryl said with a soft smile, reaching out for his hand to grab, but he stepped back from it. 

“We’re not gettin’ back together. Not for now, at least.” He softly said as he broke eye contact. He could see from the corner of his eyes that Daryl’s hand was falling back to his own body. “Rick..” Daryl almost whined. He took a deep breath before he looked at Daryl again. Teary-eyed. Daryl Dixon didn’t cry, right? “My trust is broken, Daryl.” He softly said. “And I can’t trust you with this yet. I can’t.” He looked at Daryl’s hand, which had fallen back to its place. “I love ya.” Daryl said softly, vulnerable. 

And how many times he had heard those words. From Daryl, from Lori… How in the hell could this be love? Hurting each other over and over again? “I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.” He said, out of pure honesty. He could see Daryl flinch at that and he wished it would be different, but if he couldn’t get over Lori cheating on him.. How the hell was he going to get over Daryl leaving him? Fuck, he really picked the good people huh? “I understand..” Daryl softly said, looking away from him. He swallowed thickly, before slowly walking to him and wrap his arms around the man. 

Daryl closed his arms around him, holding him tight in his arms. “I’m sorry, Daryl.” He softly said to the man, sorry that he didn’t know if he was ever ready again to go into a relationship with Daryl again, because he really didn’t know. Even if he loved him so, so dearly. “’s okay.” Daryl softly said, gently rubbing his lower back, because Daryl knew that he liked that so much. He breathed in shakily, where had they gone wrong? “Can we just.. like before… my right-hand man?” he softly asked, burying his face in the clothing of the hunter. “I need you, still need you.” He couldn’t imagine going on as they had been in the last couple of days. 

“Yeah, no problem.” Daryl said softly, placing a hand in his curly hair, holding him close to his body. He loved Daryl’s touches, still did. Daryl knew exactly where to touch him to calm him down, to please him. “I’ll prove ya that ya can trust me again. I’ll do anythin’.” Daryl softly said in his ear to which he pressed his lips lightly against his head. 

“And I’ll wait for ya as long as ya want me to. Because ya’re worth waitin’ for, Rick.” 


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still kind of alive :")   
> I failed two of my three exams so that's fun :")   
> Life is a bit hectic and I couldn't find any inspiration to write even though I know how the story's going to go and I have a lot of chapters planned, but everytime I opened word I just couldn't write anything and/or didn't like what I had written so far so yeah.   
> Sorry if this chapter is shitty, I hope some of you still likes it :")   
> Reminder that this story is unbeta'd and I'm sorry for what I'm about to do with you all lmao

He couldn’t believe how fast time went. According to his own calculations, he must be along four months right now. There was a slight bump showing now, visible for the world to see, for the world to enjoy. He caught himself touching his own belly more often than not. Sometimes he had to remind himself that they were living in a dangerous world and that he couldn’t afford to slack off, but on the other hand, touching his belly was calming him. 

He also liked it when other people touched his belly. Carl touched his belly once every couple of days, asking him all kinds of stuff about the pup growing inside of him. If it was going to be a boy or a girl, what was he going to name the pup, was the pup able to hear them yet.. but the thing that melted his heart was the fact that Carl started to make up stories for the unborn pup. Most of the time when little Jude was there as well, to tell a story to his younger siblings. 

Daryl touched his belly a lot as well. Whenever he left on his motorcycle it was more than normal that he gave him a soft pat on his abdomen before he roared his motorcycle back to life and left. He would lie if he said that things weren’t going the right way between him and Daryl. Daryl brought him gifts. Either for him or for his pups. He always tried to help him if he could, without being too pushy about it, pulled him in for a hug sometimes if he sensed that things weren’t going the way he wanted to. At those moments Daryl would just… hold him close, press a kiss against his temple and soothingly rub circles on his lower back. 

He smiled softly and took a deep breath. He was ready to slowly getting back together, if Daryl was up for it. And it would take time, to get fully get together.. But, it was better than… this. This empty space between them. The lingering looks that always stayed whenever they were close to each other. The times he just wanted to lean against Daryl and let him wrap his arms around him…

You know, maybe he had been a bit overdramatic about it all. His omega knew most of the time what was best for him, so what if Daryl was really the best for him? Why should he supress himself all the time because of one stupid mistake? Yeah, he still believed that Daryl should’ve chosen for him… but, Daryl had felt sorry. And he had broken off their relationship for quite some time.. 

He wondered how Daryl would react. Would he smile? Hug him? _Kiss_ him? Butterflies tickled his abdomen, which made him smile softly. Things would get better, again. For them, but also for their unborn pup. A family, like how it should be. He turned around the corner, his eyes lifting from the ground to look in front of him. 

Only to stop walking almost immediately. 

He couldn’t believe what his eyes were seeing. Two figures, kissing. It took some time until he figured out it was _Beth_ and _Daryl_. Beth and Daryl were kissing. Beth and Daryl were _kissing_. He tried to get some kind of noise out of his throat, but he couldn’t. Daryl stepped away from the kiss, only to look to the side, meeting his eyes. “Rick..” It sounded so soft, confused and god knows what more, because he couldn’t think straight. 

So he just softly smiled and nodded. “I’m happy for you two.” He said softly to them, before turning around and walking away. He meant it, he was happy for the two of them. He had waited too long. That’s what he could conclude out of this. Even though Daryl had told him he would wait for him forever, he couldn’t have expected it. Of course not. Idiotic. 

“Rick, wait up.” Daryl’s gruff voice said while grabbing his arm, making him turn around and face the older man. Why the hell would he chase him? To apologize? He had nothing to apologize for. He wanted to say that he was fine, that he understood, that he wished him and Beth the best of luck.. but words weren’t able to find their way out of his mind, locked in there.

“Rick, ‘s not what it-“ He pushed his finger to Daryl’s lips, lips that he just wished to shut up with his own, but now.. now that wasn’t an option anymore. Not now Daryl and Beth were together. 

“It’s okay.” He told Daryl calmly, smiling softly. _It wasn’t okay_. “It’s okay, I’m really happy for you two. You two look good together.” He followed calmly. _Not as good as you and me, though._ his mind supplied to him. He wished he could hit himself, he really wish he could. “You two will make a great couple, I’m happy you found someone again, Daryl.” And that was the truth. He was happy that Daryl found someone who made him happy again. Daryl deserved that. With all they went through, Daryl deserved Beth.

Of course he felt kind of betrayed that Beth didn’t tell him that she liked Daryl, but fine, he kind of knew why she wouldn’t have told him. He slowly removed his finger from Daryl’s lips, Daryl’s eyes were almost betraying himself, the need of saying something written oh so clearly in the stormy blue eyes. So instead of saying something else, he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the alpha, placing his chin on the broad shoulder. “Congratulations.” He softly murmured, before unwrapping himself from the alpha and smile. 

Daryl swallowed, only to slowly nod. A small pat on his lower abdomen, like a silent promise that he would still be there for him and his pup, before Daryl turned around and walked back to where he came from. Rick let go of a shaky breath, trying not to go ahead and cry right there and then. Pathetic, he was the one who broke it off. He was the one who told Daryl that he might never be ready to jump back into a relationship again. It was only logical that Daryl found someone else. 

So the only thing he could do was bury his feelings. 


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LaTe, but I wrote another chapter!! I twisted the storyline a bit, sometimes it's going quicker, sometimes slower, for story purpose x'D Otherwise the timeline in the story won't fit so don't hit me. x'D
> 
> Anyway, I've been busy. I almost finished another chapter for another fanfic of mine though! So watch out for that ;)
> 
> Love you all, thank you for all your sweet words, it really motivates me. Every comment makes me smile so much and I'm so greatful for every single one of you! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart! <3

And all of the sudden things had gone so quickly. The innocent people from Woodbury joined the prison, the governor was gone as far as they knew, he stepped back from being leader. He wanted to spend more time with Carl, so instead he started a farm with the help of Hershel. Carl had more people of his age now and not only that, he was able to help him with his farm. Re-establishing their relationship. 

Beth and Daryl were still together, something he tried not to think about. Thinking about it only hurt him. He placed a hand on his lower, swollen abdomen. According to his calculations he must’ve been around five months pregnant now. Maybe a bit longer, maybe a bit shorter. The pup inside of him was growing fast now, meaning that he had to take it easy. 

Daryl kept bringing him food and sugary things to make sure his glucose-level in his blood would stay good for the pup ánd him, which was adorable even. If he hadn’t been in a relationship with Beth… He sighed deeply as he rested his head against the shovel. He should stop thinking about that. Daryl smiled more than he did while he was with him. Whenever Beth would tell him a joke he looked happy. Even more happy than he had ever seen him in all this time he knew him. 

Glenn was a great support, even with his dorkiness. And he never thought he was going to say it; but he liked Michonne. She was calm, serious, was incredibly nice to Carl and she was kind of fun to hang out. And somehow she figured him out just like that. Even told him that one day he was going to feel it too, a love like that. To which he just smiled and said fr“Yeah, one day.” Even though he knew that he already had that. He had that with Daryl and he fucked that up. 

He probably stomped on Daryl’s heart when he told him he might never be ready to be in a relationship with him again, broke his heart. He hurt him with his actions. But how fucked up was it that he needed him so badly and not able to tell him anymore? He had been too late, even if he thought he was on time. He was still so over his heels for the guy. But even with all the pain he felt, he smiled. He had to smile, hide the truth. 

The truth that he was still utterly in love with Daryl Dixon. 

“Dad? Are you okay?” He turned around to Carl and gently smiled. He loved spending time with Carl, his everything. Without Carl? Well, he didn’t know where he would be now. He placed the shovel down and pulled his son into his arms. He removed his old sheriff county’s hat and kissed the top of his son’s head. 

“Of course. Don’t worry about me.” He said with a soft smile against his hair. He was glad his son worried about him, though he didn’t need him to worry about him. “I’m just a bit tired, that’s all.” He said with a slight purr in his voice. The faintest scent of alpha was in the air and he smiled, he couldn’t be prouder of his son. 

Maybe Daryl- oh.. No he couldn’t go through with that plan, could he? He’d wanted Daryl to talk with Carl about all the alpha stuff now that he was going through his puberty… But with them broken up.. it would probably be awkward to give Carl the.. ‘talk’. So maybe he should do it. Soon. Before one of the omega’s from Woodbury would go into heat, pulling Carl directly into a rut.

He let go of his son with a soft smile and placed the hat back on top of his head, giving him a pat on the shoulder afterwards. “Done with all your chores?” He asked him friendly, but still kind of fatherly. He was still his dad, even pregnant. 

“Yeah, waiting on Daryl to teach me how to skin squirrels.” Oh. Yeah, yeah right. Daryl was teaching Carl some handy things.. Because of course Daryl wouldn’t be able to do things all by himself. He smiled and nodded. He tried not to look uncomfortable, but how couldn’t he be? This was so hard and with his hormones going all over the place.. well, it was hard to focus on. But fine, they were fine. Daryl was fine. Beth was fine. The pup was fine. Everyone was just _fine_. “Listen carefully to him, alright? It’s good for you.” He told him calmly while picking up his shovel again. If there was one thing he learned, was that working made him forget this whole thing. And that was better for him. For some reason. He didn’t know if it was that good for the pup, but as long as he was able to work, he was going to work. Easy as that. 

“Yeah, yeah. I know dad.” Carl said with a roll of his eyes. He wondered if he would have the same reaction when Daryl had been his dad. Which caused him to feel a dull pound in his heart. Right.. Daryl had such a good relationship with Carl… He never talked about how Carl felt when Daryl and Beth got together… in public. Rick was apparently the first to know back then, Beth told him how sorry he was for so many times. That they talked together about their feelings, about the problems between him and Daryl… And that it had just… happened. 

“I love you, Carl.” He decided to say, probably out of the blue, but he needed his son to know. He would die if Carl never knew how much he loved his son. Even with all the problems he had, with all the problems in the world and with him being pregnant. Carl was the most important person in his life. Now and forever. This, the prison, was all for Carl. For Carl to grow into a fine adult. 

What he didn’t expect was a big boom.

The Governor returned. 


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly I was so overwhelmed and moved by all of your comments! I was actually shocked by the amount of comments that I saw on my e-mail. Thank you all so much for all the comments, it moves me that people are invested in this and that motivated me so much to write further! I'm honestly so happy and I'm just so honored and aa-. Really, from the bottom of my heart, thanks to everyone who reads this, who places comments and who takes the time for everything here. Thank. You. 
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy the next chapter, even though it might seem like a little filler, just some angsty stuff from Rick and some interaction between Carl and Rick!

He was in pain. He couldn’t even walk straight up. He still had trouble breathing right, a limp in his leg, his face felt swollen up already.. and all he tried was not to panic. Judith was _gone_. His daughter was _gone_. All he had seen was blood in the little carriage while holding onto Carl. Michonne was gone, Maggie, Beth, Daryl, Glenn.. _Hershel_. Hershel was _dead_. Decapitated by Michonne’s katana in the hands on the Governor. 

He had tried so hard. Tried so hard to reason with the Governor, tried to talk some sense into the man. But he had called him a liar and chopped Hershel’s head right off. He remembered shooting, remembered getting hit, remembered going for the governor and _losing_. Remembered the katana slicing through the governors body as he was getting choked by the alpha. Michonne had saved him. If it wasn’t for her… he would have died. 

Carl was walking ahead of him, a clear distance between them. He tried to keep up with him, but he couldn’t. He wanted to hang his head, whine and cry. They had lost _everyone_ today, with no clue who was still alive and who wasn’t.. with the exception of Hershel. His whole body ached, he was definitely bleeding somewhere but he couldn’t find himself to care about that. He lost his pack. But he was so grateful to have Carl still with him. 

He was grateful when they found a barbecue restaurant, thank the lord. He just hoped that it was empty. But instead, there was one walker in there. He gripped onto his axe tightly, walking towards the walker and swung his axe. Way too soft, because he didn’t even manage to kill him. When he saw Carl’s gun he shook his head. “Don’t- please don’t.” he softly said, but it didn’t even matter. Carl shot the walker. He sighed and bit his lip, before starting to look for things they could take; food, water, maybe something else they could use? Carl had found the most things, “I win.” He said, almost jokingly. He smiled and huffed a soft laugh. Yeah, Carl won. 

It took a while, but they found an abandoned house to take shelter in. Carl started to bang and shouted curse words at the walkers, to which he had to be strict. “Carl-“ he said a bit angry to his son. “I’m not a kid dad.” Carl snapped at him, before Carl went upstairs, all by himself. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, trembling. 

When Carl came down with a tv-cord to tie the door, Carl made a knot and he couldn’t help but wonder if this was fine like this. When he wondered out loud if they should push the couch against the door, Carl seemed to snap once again. “My knot is a good one,” Carl said angrily. “ _Shane_ taught me it.” And it seemed accusing. Accusing him of Shane’s death. He felt himself freezing and looked Carl straight in the eye. Yeah, maybe having Shane would’ve been better. Yes, he still blamed himself all the fucking time for killing Shane and thinking how he could’ve stopped it.. But he couldn’t help it now could he? 

“I remember Shane every day, do you have anything else to say?” He couldn’t help being a bit bitter about it, but he couldn’t stand the fact that Carl looked at him like he was the cause of everything. Like it was all _his_ fault. Well, maybe it was. Maybe it would’ve been better if he were dead and Shane was still alive, maybe the group would’ve been better off without him and they would still be alive. Because Shane would’ve killed the governor when he had the damned chance, that was one thing he was sure of. 

They still pushed the couch against the door, even with the door being tied. After that was done he went to the bathroom of the house. His hands were trembling, his body aching. He couldn’t remember when the last time was when he felt this much pain. Probably when he had gotten shot on the job. He started to remove his shirt trembling, looking at the bruises he has gotten. Dear lord, he couldn’t even stand up straight. He whimpered softly as he looked at the reflection in the mirror. He was a god damn mess. 

He let go of a soft sob as he thought of the rest of the group. Michonne was alive when he had left to search for Carl, but who knew who was still alive from their group? And if they were, the chance of meeting up was slim. He placed a hand on his lower abdomen and whimpered again. All he could hope was that the pup would be okay, but he already knew there was a chance that his body, under this amount of stress, would abort the pup to save his own body. 

Tears started to leave the corners of his eyes, he _failed_. He could’ve killed the governor when they met, but he didn’t. He could’ve _saved_ everyone, but he failed. He had failed so badly. He failed Judith. He closed his eyes and leaned onto the sink, trying not to break down right there and then. Everything he had done had been for Carl, for _Judith_ and now she was _gone_. She was dead. He had failed as her dad. Maybe Carl had a point, Shane had been a dad to Carl as well, maybe they all would’ve lived if it wasn’t for him. 

Judith would’ve lived. 

T-Dog would’ve lived, because he didn’t kill that inmate with his axe and hoped that the walkers could’ve done that. 

The prison wouldn’t have fallen. 

He put his shirt back on, trembling, trying not to fall over. He was so goddamn tired. All he wanted to do was rest, sleep it all off and just _wake up_ from this bloody nightmare. How hard was it to wake up from this? When he found his way back to the couch he let himself fall onto it, wincing when he felt the pain through his whole body. 

He just closed his eyes and let himself drift off into the darkness. 


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... Don't hate me please ;o;. 
> 
> Trigger warning for Miscarriage, though it's not explicittly written. I couldn't get that over my own heart. 
> 
> Also, this will be the ending for the first book! :o Talk about that, damn. There will be a follow-up, of course I'm not going to leave you all hanging like that when I made a promise ; ) 
> 
> But this seemed like a good end to me for this part. 
> 
> Happy new year you all! Stay safe with the fireworks and all! 
> 
> Please don't kill me for this < / 3 
> 
> I'm very sorry. 
> 
> xx

Michonne had found him a Carl. And he would lie if it gave him hope. If Michonne survived, maybe so did others? Carl and him had a good talk just before she showed up. A really good talk. A talk that they needed, very badly. He wouldn’t treat Carl like a small child anymore, he would start to see him like a man. Carl almost shot him, he had woken up with a throat so dry and hurtful that he couldn’t help but groan. And when he fell from the couch and reached out to Carl, trying to talk to him, Carl almost shot him with his own python.

Of course he was grateful that he hadn’t pulled the trigger, but on the other hand if he _had_ turned, then he should’ve shot him or at least get away. His whole body was still hurting, the bruises around his neck were bright purple, his eye swollen, lip cut and who knew what else, but it was alright. Because they had Michonne right now. And if he trusted one person with his pup, it must’ve been Michonne, who Carl was really close to. 

They had decided to stay a couple of days in the house, just so he could recover a bit and there weren’t a lot of walkers around here, so why not stay? They couldn’t stay here forever of course, they had to try and find some of their pack members, but he wasn’t of much use when he was barely able to walk. But he felt… uneasy. He kept turning on the couch, never finding quite the position he wanted. He huffed out a breath, he knew this feeling, but it couldn’t be. He always felt this uneasy whenever he was going into heat. 

But he was pregnant, he couldn’t go into heat right now. 

And then he felt it. A soft, soft cramp. But it was still a cramp. “God, _no_.” he whispered as he closed his eyes. He had heard of it before. As soon as an omega’s body was hurt badly, the body would put itself first. Even if that meant losing the pup to help the body recover. It didn’t even matter if the pup would be healthy, it would just be _gone_. Adding all of stress on top of that, he should’ve seen it coming. 

But that didn’t mean he _liked_ it. He could already feel tears building up underneath his eyelashes, fogging up his view. He hated this. He hated this so much. For all he knew Daryl would’ve died in the battle, leaving him with the only thing to remember the person he had loved so much; a pup. But all of that didn’t matter, because he was going to lose it. He whimpered loudly when a real cramp disrupted his thoughts, clamping his arms around his lower abdomen. Like that would stop everything that was going to happen. 

“Dad?!” Was the first thing he heard, looking up whimpering to his older pup. “Michonne!” Carl called panicky. He wanted to reach out to Carl, tell him that everything was going to be fine, but it wasn’t going to be fine. He knew that much. He gritted his teeth as another wave of pain flooded through his body, closing his eyes and wishing it would just go away. 

“Carl, fetch some blankets, towels, whatever you can find. Now.” Michonne said calmly, but firm. He could hear her coming closer to him, before placing a hand on his shoulder. “Rick, look at me.” He slowly looked at her, his eyes itching with gold, tears running down his face. “Let it stop, please.” He whimpered. “ _Please_.” He said as he closed his eyes again. Michonne’s hand didn’t leave him, just stayed there as some kind of support. He needed Daryl. God fucking damn it. 

And then he felt something _wet_ and at that point his instincts yelled at him that he was indeed giving birth right now. Way, way too early. Five months was too early to survive for the pup. If there had been hospitals, they could’ve saved it. But this was the harsh truth, they didn’t have those anymore. The pup would die. “Sssh, Rick, sssh.” Michonne softly cooed at him, rubbing his upper arm. “We have to take your pants off Rick, we can’t go back now.” He slowly nodded, even though he wanted to scream no, wanted to leave it all and be in denial forever. But he couldn’t. Who knew what would happen if it would take too long. He couldn’t leave Carl alone. 

All in all it took a couple of hours. And when Michonne cut the umbilical cord he knew this was official. He lost his pup. He sobbed loudly, covering his eyes with his arms. Carl was right by his side, but seemed clueless to what to do. To be honest, he wouldn’t have known either. All he could think that this really was an _end_. An end to everything he and Daryl had ever done. Maybe this was a sign, he would never see Daryl again. 

He failed. He failed everyone. Including Judith and his stillborn pup that never met this world while breathing. He didn’t even look at the gender, he didn’t know why he should. He just hoped.. hoped that Michonne took _care_ of it. He didn’t know how it would work with the whole turning thing with stillborn pups, but he just hoped that she helped it. _Just in case_. 

Hours later he felt like he had cried every tear out of his body. Carl had fallen asleep next to the couch, his pup’s head to his chest. He took a deep, shaky breath, before opening his eyes and looking up to the ceiling. He had to keep on going. For Carl. He wouldn’t let Carl lose two siblings and his dad so soon after each other. He had to protect his only pup, die for him. Not die drowning in his own misery. He took another deep breath, holding it for a second before letting it go. There was no time for mourning. 

Surviving was the main priority. 


End file.
